posted April 07, 2014 04:25 PM            

My father dying a few years ago left me sad that he had somehow never fulfilled his potential or truly found himself (although I believe he was getting there, it was just cut short from cancer). I left a poem in his coffin about what he meant to me as a father. A psychic has since told me he saw the note.

Burying my dog several years ago was absolutely heart-breaking. Not having a child myself (well, I did miscarry once), it just brought all that pain to a head for me. The loss of someone that had depended on you for their life.

Another very poignant loss for me was a 35 year old musical colleague a year ago (also from cancer) who was the definition of positivity. He had a real go-getting, enthusiastic attitude about life, was humorous, fun and clever. People felt his support. At his funeral I just realized that he made the most of what he had (and his abilities), and wasn't scared of pursuing his dreams. It was a good lesson to pass on to others.

posted April 07, 2014 04:48 PM            

There were pills and drugs allover and his body was all "plastic", cold and blue, his mother hysterical, his father catatonic and my live in bf said it was my fault because I hadn't gotten home soon enough from work (not sure why I had to rush home for but I was blamed anyway).

Either way, that same week I lost my job, my boyfriend and my room mate.

posted April 07, 2014 05:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jo B:
OMG Charlie, that sounds horrific! I don't know what to say. It must have been awful for you. And yes, why should you have taken the heat for something totally beyond your control?

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People lay sh1t on me a lot. Because apparently I look like I can "deal". And I do deal. It's hard to strike a balance between going bitter and remain open for human interaction altogether.

posted April 07, 2014 05:05 PM            

I'm only in my early twenties, but I think I've become a little desensitized to death. It's just been absolutely everywhere. I probably went to a dozen funerals before ever attending my first wedding.

So I have become very accepting of it. Mostly I grieve for a day or two and then accept. I don't stop, I don't pause. It doesn't mean that I don't love them or that I'm not sad, but I have really had to learn the necessity of moving on.

Mostly what I find the most difficult is the longing and missing. It's worse than the death part. I can deal with death as I believe in the spirit world anyway, but it's the knowledge that I have a whole long life ahead of me with allot of separation.

This is something everyone has to go through though. As long as there is love, there will be loss. It is the natural cycle of things.

I have learned to cope through living in the moment. Never looking ahead... And never looking back. It helps me allot. Just pure acceptance that it's out of my control and that I need to get on with things.

I have also accepted the temporary state of life and that my own could end at any given moment. I have had a couple of close calls abroad. I have also lost allot of people my own age due to a mass murder a couple of years ago. I was supposed to be there too, so it really hit home for me on more than one level. That took longer for me to accept (it was just so senseless), but I have settled with the knowledge that life is precious and I am so so lucky with what I have. I just pray that I shall be allowed to complete my destiny before I go. There can be no time to waste if I don't know that I have it. So that is my main prayer to the universe. To allow me enough time to complete what I feel I was put here to do. It's not a path that I can afford to shy away from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bag1gUxuU0g

posted April 07, 2014 05:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
People lay sh1t on me a lot. Because apparently I look like I can "deal". And I do deal. It's hard to strike a balance between going bitter and remain open for human interaction altogether.

I do want to be a psychologist but it's harder when issues like those hit close to home.

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Well that is something I can relate to, Charlie :-)

You learn to deal because you have to.

posted April 07, 2014 05:33 PM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted April 07, 2014 09:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
People lay sh1t on me a lot. Because apparently I look like I can "deal". And I do deal. It's hard to strike a balance between going bitter and remain open for human interaction altogether.

I do want to be a psychologist but it's harder when issues like those hit close to home.

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That sucks, but psychology does explore that. Anger is a very common reaction to death when denial is no longer a luxury (and there are cases of people in such strong denial that they went to a funeral confused why s/he couldn't see the dead person alive and wondering where s/he was), and anger can lash out at others with sometimes terrible results given that those lashed out at may themselves be wrestling with the extremes of grief (including anger) as well as being particularly vulnerable right then.

posted April 07, 2014 09:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jo B:
Death of loved ones/friends is very sad but I believe very transformative on a personal level. How has it changed you as a person? Has it added spirituality and compassion to your life, just made you sad, or maybe made you change how you approach life yourself?

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Yes, to all. More accurate to say it contributed to it. I've experienced more than one death, and one haunted me for years, I'd actually surprise myself by crying many years later when I thought I was over it. Another, despite being more of an acquaintance who left a major impression on me rather than a loved one, inspired me to find ways to hopefully help grant his spirit peace for years (I even incorporated his life and death in a fic of mine hoping in some way that it might help, though I did adapt it enough to be relevant to the story), and he also got me to thinking about the why of human evil in society, had it not been for him I may not have even thought much on it (but again, there were other contributing factors). I don't feel like going into the details, however.

posted April 07, 2014 09:31 PM            

If it had simply been too late then I'd have been a little sad but quickly put it behind me. But what I got instead was every single vet office I called playing stupid who just wanted to go home ASAP and not deal with a cat they'd never seen before. I got desperate enough I started to offer to pay double to see him immediately, but then it occurs to me now that the double would go to the vet or office not the one working the desk so maybe it would've been different if I'd instead tried bribing the one I was talking to. It was bad enough (one reason I think they were only pretending) in that when like one offered to see him the very next Monday I asked her, "Don't you understand that he'll be dead by then?" They HAD to. Some would even wish me happy thanksgiving knowing I had a dying cat on my hands and they were refusing to take my money to help me.

posted April 08, 2014 04:42 PM            

I haven't been affected by anyone's death to a great extent so far but it'll probably happen at some point and it already scares me. I don't know if I could ever get over losing someone I loved.

posted April 08, 2014 04:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
This thread reminded me of this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ3aiM8K6D0
I don't know if I could ever get over losing someone I loved.

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It can and does often strengthen you as a character though cappy. Makes you more empathetic too I think