posted July 01, 2014 11:59 AM            

He had to leave the room, he would get so shamed.

Well, this stuck in my head for a few years but now I want to share something I realized and see if anyone can relate.

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posted July 01, 2014 12:01 PM            

It exists as depression, anxiety, feeling worthless, feeling I have to be perfect to be OK, feeling I have to please people to be Ok etc

I have really been asking God to break these deceptions and distortions cuz that is what they are.

God does not make junk, so if we feel we are junk, it is a distortion.

So, this is what happened this morning and I feel like I am healed.

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posted July 01, 2014 12:05 PM            

It doesn't make logical sense like my friend's husband but it made me not able to really see what was happening with other people.

Hence, I could not figure things out well.

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posted July 02, 2014 10:14 AM            

To both the shame and the anger/feeling bad about myself because of someone else's actions.

It's hard for me to understand how much of my feeling bad/angry comes from me personally and how much of it comes from other people.

posted July 02, 2014 10:20 AM            

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posted July 02, 2014 01:23 PM            

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posted July 02, 2014 02:27 PM            

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posted July 02, 2014 03:08 PM            

I didn't know about stomach issues and boundaries, very interesting.

Hm, can't tell if I was/am "punished" for wanting boundaries, but let's just say that my need for privacy is constantly overlooked/overstepped and my mother is very intrusive. She's also good at verbal karate moves and emotional rollercoasters. (I don't like talking about her badly, especially behind her back, but I think my perception of her is accurate, at least when it comes to myself.)

Anyway, it seems obvious that people who struggle with ego boundaries and feeling things that don't seem to make a lot of sense logically speaking, have some unresolved past traumas... And childhood traumas are often the most persistent ones.

posted July 05, 2014 09:13 PM            

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posted July 06, 2014 09:33 AM            

I have known a group of people for a long time and we go to parties, dinners etc.

Well, one family was not as successful as the others and it must have been brooding for a long time.

One member of this family started all sorts of trouble saying people dissed his brother in law etc

This made a rift with some others such that they would not go to any more parties with these people etc

I saw the whole family at a July 4th party. I was really friendly to everyone. The brother, who started all the trouble, looked really sheepish. I gave him a hug.

I was really friendly to his sister.

The upshot is that I don't care about petty things. I don't care if people want to start trouble. I just keep my side of the street clean and am responsible for that only.

I have one area in which I am not like this. When someone hates or disses my heritage, I have a hot boil and then a deep coldness that is the worst of the Cancer Moon and Mars and can rival any Scorpio

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