posted July 13, 2014 03:26 PM            

I have been struggling for 6 years to have a relationship with my mother but one in which I could have dignity, self respect and my own voice.

I was helping her with some health things and she insulted me badly out of the blue like she does.

My son was there cuz he helps me to navigate it when she does things like this.

I had the strength to really stand up in a strong, positive way and she backed down and said she was sorry.

Then, she told me how she was struggling so badly and had so much fear.

My heart really went out to her and I feel like I healed a great deal.

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posted July 13, 2014 03:40 PM            

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posted July 13, 2014 03:42 PM            

Consider this the first step to healing. This is truly great and I hope you continue to use your voice.

posted July 13, 2014 04:18 PM            

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posted July 13, 2014 11:09 PM            

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posted July 19, 2014 02:18 PM            

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posted July 20, 2014 02:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I still have a lot on internal hate which is making me sick. I can't eat much or I get sick. I have all this hate inside and it poisons me.

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Ok, I'm just going to share my thoughts on this which are often random and maybe not shared by others but oh well.

You run a website.
Astrology is interpretation and in some of your articles you are very honest about your personal views on certain placements.
Plus you run a Christian website that often has sexual content.
You have personal issues that you voice a lot and don't seem to ever get better.
You place yourself in a victim role quite often and there ARE people out there who love to step on others because they can.

I guess in a nutshell, if you are going to run a website - it comes with a certain amount of hate. Pretty much no matter what.

If you are going to share your thoughts, be honest and open, you're going to get certain amounts of hate. People are so diverse and have all kinds of ways of thinking, disorders, beliefs, etc etc. I mean, the more that you share yours, you will get close to some that also share them and gather "hate" as you like to call it, from others as it conflicts with what they believe or that they find insulting.

If you're going to do what you do, which there's nothing wrong with it (minus making yourself the victim so often), you're going to get hate. You're going to have to learn to deal with it, or stop what you're doing.
And sometimes Ami, you have to learn to stand on your own and not rely on a support network such as LL. It's nice to have. We all like to come here and know that it's available. To know that people will help us, listen to us, etc.
I get the impression that you nearly exclusively rely on support networks.

IDK... I'm not trying to be mean - "tough love" so to speak, you might call it.
You need some tougher skin. You often say that you are ignoring but it's like what's been being said in the "afflicted moon/Venus hate towards women" thread in 2.0. If guys run around proclaiming how nice they are, they probably are not really all that nice. You often proclaim how you just ignore these things but I don't think so. Here you are telling us about the "hate".

You gotta start working on some tougher skin Ami especially if you're going to run a website and put yourself out in public so much - post your personal problems.
Some people are just mean and they live on it.

If you look like a victim, act like a victim, you'll be a victim.

posted July 20, 2014 03:47 PM            

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posted July 20, 2014 04:50 PM            

Ami, I know (well not personally know, but you get what I mean) the situation you are in is not easy, but you have to keep moving forward.

Keep using your voice and letting yourself feel, otherwise you will continue to hurt yourself (feeling sick) by denying this.

posted July 20, 2014 04:53 PM            

You have good points and thanks for caring and to DF, too!

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