posted August 20, 2014 12:20 PM            

I want to have a kid but not at any price.

I just feel really sad right now.

posted August 20, 2014 12:39 PM            

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posted August 20, 2014 07:39 PM            

And I haven't had any episodes of "temporary insanity" for awhile, possibly because I'm helping to raise kids as if they were my own.

posted August 21, 2014 12:46 PM            

Rajji... ???

PJ,
All good questions. Having a baby is scary. Adopting is scary as well. I'm sad because I can't conceive. I would love to have the option to choose whether to procreate or not. Yes, maybe I love myself too much, so I want a little Yin around. Maybe I love my partner so much that I want another one of him around. I'm not saying it's logical. It's an instinct.

I've looked into adopting. It's like applying for a job only the application process takes years, costs a ridiculous amount of money and you can't have any expectations of privacy as far as ANY of your personal affairs are concerned.

You are evaluated and judged on all of your lifestyle choices, finances, living conditions, relationship situation... everything.
I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of and yet, I hate the idea of subjecting myself to that.

How many fertile people actually go through that just to have a baby?
It's all well to say everyone should go through that process in order to realize the significance of bringing a child into this world. Reality is different.

I don't know if children are a gift from God. One chooses to have faith when nothing else seems to bring them comfort. I don't know that it's a bad choice.

posted August 21, 2014 01:22 PM            

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posted August 21, 2014 06:20 PM            

That said, so many crap parents (some with no real impulse control) get kids that it can't be too hard...

posted August 22, 2014 12:46 AM            

I had hormonal treatment for a few years and now things seem to be alright, but I am single and from the looks of things I won't be conceiving any time soon. Kids seem to be a beautiful dream but so, so elusive.

I am not giving up though. I would have IVF or adopt if it comes to it. I could maybe live without a man, but not without kids - or pets. Don't give up, either. If it means that much to you, you will find a way to make it happen.

posted September 26, 2014 09:01 AM            

But... It turns out I was wrong.

posted September 26, 2014 10:51 AM            

My heart goes to you. When we had those 2 miscarriages I thought for sure that something was wrong and that we couldn't have kids at all. It was depressing and really saddened me. Then one day I just woke up and decided that if we are meant to have children then whenever they come, they'll come. We weren't necessarily trying nor were we preventing the possibility either hahahaa. But don't give up. There are so many things that you can do naturally!

Do you have irregular menstrual cycles at all? Mine were horrible the last year and a half almost 2 years. So I did some research and found out when your period is irregular your ovulation is also off. I think a lot of women think that once you get your period you ovulate regularly right after that like you would any other time and that isn't the case when your periods are irregular. There are times when your body doesn't ovulate, therefore making it difficult to even try to get pregnant.

So what I did was started taking prenatal pills about 4-5 months ago. Prenatal pills are excellent for prepping your body for baby and it's why a ton of OBs recommend women to take them before trying to get pregnant. They really help internally by getting things in order without having to go the birth control route, which I wanted to avoid as much as possible and did . Imo they really helped me, my periods started getting on track after a few months. Then we found this little microscope called fertile focus, you can buy it on Amazon for about 30 bucks, it is totally worth every penny! We had it for a month and got pregnant the following month. ☺️ It's kind of creepy but nonetheless really cool. All you do is put a little bit of spit on the scope part, let it dry completely and when you're ovulating at your most fertile time your spit actually crystallizes and that's your "go getter done" window hahaha. It's pretty cool. I would do it right after my period was over everyday until we got the green light. It takes time and patience but it works and is worth it. It's excellent for tracking ovulation without having to buy those useless sticks, and it's reuseable!!