posted December 18, 2014 03:41 AM            

To make it short from the beginning: I am SUPER (and take that times 200..) analytical and SUPER sensitive to universal and human “vibrations”. I feel energies in humans without words and can sense deviations from previous behavioral patterns no matter how many different patterns there might have been in past. This is very painful for me, especially when people I love try to hide things from me or straight out lie to my face. I spent my entire childhood analyzing my parents behavior so that I could intervene should I sense an argument surfacing. I could manipulate situations so that these arguments were put on me instead. I carried that weight my entire childhood and it developed a brain that is on steroids when it comes to these things. In a sense I was psychologically abused, and used. It created a monster of sorts.

There is only one thing I want from a relationship and that is open communication. That is the only way for me to trust you. I will not judge based on what is being said because God knows I have not been an angel in my life. I just want communication so I won’t have to be tortured by what is “hidden”.

Now to what is bothering me: my fiancé sometimes hides things. He sometimes makes phone calls to people (he speaks a 3rd language I do not understand except for a few words) and I will know when a particular phone call is out of the ordinary. Now, he speaks to A LOT of people, has a huge family and many friends, and this is never a problem nor have I ever sensed that there has been a problem with those conversations BUT the few times I have felt something very strongly I have asked him what is up and he has blown a gasket saying it is nothing. I have kept my stance because I trust my gut and every time I have been right; those phone calls that I have put my radar on ALERT have been about things he had absolutely no intentions telling me about and that makes me feel bad. Bad because I can’t control this part of me that feels when something is “up” and even worse because had I not sensed something he would have lied.

I have gotten worse with age. It’s as if my brain and entire being has opened up to another dimension and I am a sponge for information that the naked eye cannot see.

I give my fiancé much personal space as he is a dreamer (Pisces Asc) and I don’t pry except for the few times I mentioned above and those things have been serious in nature, not just to me but on a general aspect.

This is an astrology site after all so I feel the need to mention that my entire chart is hugely influenced by a very tight relationship between Mercury and Uranus. Information just comes to me whether I want it or not and I cannot control it.

posted December 18, 2014 04:56 AM            

From what you have given briefly, it is not particularly clear whether your childhood was something you accepted yourself, as in you didn't want your parents to argue so you actively manipulated those situations in an attempt to defuse them, or that you then paid attention and made yourself hyper aware of these signals.
To some degree, it could be possible that you are irrationally hallucinating these "symptoms" of dishonesty. I'm not saying you are, just that it's a possibility. Much like a hypochondriac feels the symptoms of whatever disease they are currently 'suffering'. The mind is a powerful tool, and it is capable of all sorts of things.

I would also suggest, that if you do not trust your fiance, then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship with him. You are getting married, to spend the rest of your life, with someone whom you are struggling to trust. For me, this would be an issue.

Does your partner have a right to be upset if you are continually questioning him? Yes, he does.

Does it mean he is hiding something as you suspect, it may, it may not.

We cannot control others, nor can we read their hearts nor minds.

There is no certainty in life, although we strive to give ourselves that illusion.

No one here can tell you what to do, or how to act. That's up to you. I would suggest you take time to think very carefully about this, and that when you are ready, you ask your fiance if you can talk. Perhaps talk him through why you are feeling the way you are. He'll either be understanding, or he won't. You can ask no more.

If he understands why you are upset/skittish, then you can work through it. It's amazing just how little people listen to each other.

posted December 18, 2014 05:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
I am not aware of all the little facets of yourself, nor your partner. I will say that generally people enjoy their own privacy to some degree. I would also say that people don't enjoy someone sharing everything with them. I myself have an open door honesty policy when it comes to relationships. I won't hide anything, if asked. Maybe it's a lot to ask, that a partner be completely honest with you.

From what you have given briefly, it is not particularly clear whether your childhood was something you accepted yourself, as in you didn't want your parents to argue so you actively manipulated those situations in an attempt to defuse them, or that you then paid attention and made yourself hyper aware of these signals.
To some degree, it could be possible that you are irrationally hallucinating these "symptoms" of dishonesty. I'm not saying you are, just that it's a possibility. Much like a hypochondriac feels the symptoms of whatever disease they are currently 'suffering'. The mind is a powerful tool, and it is capable of all sorts of things.

I would also suggest, that if you do not trust your fiance, then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship with him. You are getting married, to spend the rest of your life, with someone whom you are struggling to trust. For me, this would be an issue.

Does your partner have a right to be upset if you are continually questioning him? Yes, he does.

Does it mean he is hiding something as you suspect, it may, it may not.

We cannot control others, nor can we read their hearts nor minds.

There is no certainty in life, although we strive to give ourselves that illusion.

No one here can tell you what to do, or how to act. That's up to you. I would suggest you take time to think very carefully about this, and that when you are ready, you ask your fiance if you can talk. Perhaps talk him through why you are feeling the way you are. He'll either be understanding, or he won't. You can ask no more.

If he understands why you are upset/skittish, then you can work through it. It's amazing just how little people listen to each other.

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I get your point. The thing is that he does share everything. We talk about the craziest things but he hides the fact that he gives his ex wife (no children involved and yes, it is HIS money to do as he wish with) money behind my back or does other sketchy business that involves less than stellar people and money. I would be OK with this had he told be PRIOR to making odd phone calls while trying to hide the fact that he didn't. That is keeping lines of communication open to me. I could be totally wrong though!

As for the other, yes, I actively tried to manipulate childhood situations so to defuse my parents arguing. I redirected the "currents", if you will.

posted January 09, 2015 03:36 PM            

I tend to manipulate things a lot too. If I sense some threat, I'll indirectly take some preventative action. Sometimes, I tell myself I shouldn't be doing this either, but it's so hard for my cappy moon to be a bystander. How do you just watch a situation unfold as you feared?! Right?! Lol.

Recently, I read an article on why Apple is so successful. Here's an excerpt:

"(1) Hire customer-obsessed, empathetic employees. Steve Jobs had unique and effective insights about how people want to interact with technology. Jobs used a quote originally attributed to Henry Ford to describe why these insights were so important: “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses”—illustrating the problem that customers may be limited to thinking only in terms of what they know, instead of what is possible."

Ok so what does this have to do with anything you ask! Lol. I relate to having "unique and effective insights," and considering what's "possible." That is exactly the problem you have described. Steve jobs is a Virgo rising with mercury in aquarius by the way! Mercury/Uranian energy. There were times people thought he was crazy too. Lol. Anyways, the point is we have a common insight into people and situations that we need to learn how to handle positively.

What I've decided to do is believe in what I feel. Validate it, and find a way to effectively integrate it into my life. No more second guessing.

posted January 09, 2015 05:31 PM            

I have always felt ppls emotions like they are screaming at me. I can feel when their words and emotions don't match and it breaks my heart. I feel their lies.
Sometimes being in public is so overwhelming because I sense what ppl are feeling their intentions and how intense what they are feeling is...sometimes I can tell they have very bad intentions.

I've never tried manipulating this because I'm just learning how to trust it and control it now that I'm in my 30's.

Growing up with this would cause a particular issue because you learn a way to communicate with life and your environment that nobody else sees it comprehends. But how do you shut it off in order to learn a new way to interact in life?

The main issue is your being bombarded with information that is overwhelming and quite frankly not yours to know, no matter if you want it or not....it's there.
Then if you can't get the truth out of these people and get an explaination of what's going on, all the extra information becomes a burden, it confuses and stresses you out.

You must stop and think though....you yourself have things that are private, things your not ready to share with someone/anyone!
Not because you want to lie or keep things but because your not emotionally ready to address whatever it is inside you...your definitely not ready to share it with others, possibly because your still processing these things inside yourself.
Now what happens if someone comes along and senses your not telling everything....then they try to get you to say what your not telling. It would feel like an invasion, an invasion of the most intimate personal kind...you might even begin to fear the person because boundaries and walls you have put up for protection are being seen through by this person, you feel completely exposed and under attack.

My point in saying this is...you have an ability that exposes people. You can see what they are not ready to show you that hurts them. It hurts you when you can't get deeper and get them share what they are needing to hide.
Its natural to have walls that hide parts of us that we are afraid to show. These walls are like the band aids we put on a wound so that the wound slowly heals, in time we will remove the band aid but only in our time.
Without the band aid the wound would be a gaping hurting wound with no protection.
So be careful...I understand you don't want to be hurt but you still must realize asking about something he's not ready to tell you will equally hurt him.

You must let trust win! If you trust he loves you and allow that to console you. Learn to sense the love he has for you, even without his words saying it. Learn to feel his fears and allow that to be a reason to empathize with him...feel his love for you if you know it's there.

Use the ability for good...that means you will need to retrain it because all your life you've used it to spot the negativity about to erupt...you've been focused on that. Your still focused on that. When we focus on something sometimes we unintentionally create it because we expect it so much we act as if it's already there until it really is. Watch out that your desire to protect yourself isn't creating situations that you need protection from. Start trying to see the places ppl love you, even though they can't vocalize it....allow yourself to sense it!

Does any of this make sense?

posted January 09, 2015 06:47 PM            

Boy! Lots of truth and great advice.

This post isn't about me, but I find it so true especially about these insights being discomforting and intrusive. Unfortunately, that is just the nature of Uranian energy. It's truth-seeking, and can be unstable and disruptive. That's how I feel anyway - unstable and disruptive. Being bombarded by information is indeed frustrating, but I can't ignore that elusive sense of freedom I seek in knowing and understanding. I'm realizing this needs to be turned inward.

You're so right when you say: "Use the ability for good...that means you will need to retrain it because all your life you've used it to spot the negativity about to erupt...you've been focused on that. Your still focused on that. When we focus on something sometimes we unintentionally create it because we expect it so much we act as if it's already there until it really is. Watch out that your desire to protect yourself isn't creating situations that you need protection from."

I was gonna mention being cautious of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think about how much of my actions contributed to the unfavorable situations in my life. Like SF said: "the mind is a powerful tool."

I think maybe Charlie and I have a problem that may be more a matter of what's going on within than what's happening around us. If I remember correctly we both have cap moons. Mine was just conjunct tPluto (time for some emotional transformations?!). Trusting feelings isn't exactly my forte. That's where my controlling, fixit behavior, and negative bent mentality stems from, so as much as I dislike reading certain suggestions, I know I need to consider them. A large part of the distrust I experience in my relationships stem from the intimate understanding I have of my own hidden nature. That's where I really need to focus. I just don't know where to start. What are our current insecurities, or fears telling us about ourselves?!

I wish I could articulate things as well as Charlie and Gabby has, but I have tNeptune square my 12th house mercury right now. Ugh! The confusion and delusion. I've been spreading chaos far and wide lately.

One more thing: "you might even begin to fear the person because boundaries and walls seen through by this person, you feel completely exposed and under attack."

So true! This is how I've been feeling lately, but ironically, it's myself I'm in fear of. Do I really wanna know myself that well? I guess Pluto will give me no choice.

posted January 09, 2015 07:57 PM            

I have a Uranus square Saturn, Uranus trine Mars and Kaali conjunct Uranus by 2 degrees(my life force is attached to Uranus)....Uranus energy has always been a thorn in my side...lol...but also a gift!

What I have learned is in order to control Uranus you must let go of control....throw all the energy that you would use to control the things you feel you need to change or control, throw it into trusting you universal guides. Relax your tight grip on life into a loose grip based on trust that everything will be just fine.

Uranus is all about freedom, so let Uranus flow without any thought of control or forcing things to go your way and watch Uranus bring you all the answers in a way you never expected.

I could be completely off here but this is what I've learned and started practicing...my stress levels have went down drastically.
I've decided to trust the universe loves me and will being me exactly what I need if I allow it to take control with me just watching and learning instead of trying to force my will.
If you think about it, everything Uranus is about control issues...so trying to force anything is going against the Uranus energy.
I know it feels like Uranus is ours so we get to will it to go our way...but don't forget it's the universe and our higher self that has chosen the path Uranus is flowing for us...and maybe we are not seeing the full picture. Maybe we are trying to force it to go a way that's not what your higher self wants.

To me, anything that's created stress or pain is doing so because your going against the natural flow, the natural flow that would bring what you need.

Trust that your higher self has the answer and has set in motion life, so let it flow, don't think you know better. If you feel resistance in the way of things not going well...relax more, let go more and let the universe guide you instead of you trying to guide the universe.

posted January 09, 2015 10:14 PM            

I have a 5th house Saturn in Libra square my cap moon, and my cancer/Capricorn node axis. Saturn also tightly trines my sun/AC. I'm all about Saturn, control, and taking on responsibilities that isn't mine to begin with. I relate to feeling psychologically abused, but I did/do it to myself.

Uranus is currently transiting my 11th house (he's home!) making an applying opposition to my Saturn, and completing a grand square/cross(?) with my nodes. tPluto is exactly conjunct my SN in my 8th house (he's home too!). I think these impulses or whatever it is I keep trying to control is showing me exactly what you've suggested: the need to loosen my grip. Time to rid myself of my negative Saturn tendencies and behaviors.

Take Charlie's situation... I would react just as she has:

Logically analyze the situation
Put my guard up, test out theories
Use my knowledge of human nature to validate my distrust
Seek out advice
Strategize, contingency plan
Drive myself to question my sanity lol

And for what?! To preempt certain actions and decisions that may never come to pass. Imagine all the lessons this deprives others of. Sometimes what is rebuilt after someone crashes and burns is way better than what stood in its place. I need to trust in others ability to scrape their knees, and cope. I'm like an overbearing mom! Yuk! Lol

posted January 09, 2015 11:09 PM            

Like you my Saturn also trines my Sun it's in a stellium with Merc/Nep, transit Saturn is moving into my stellium right now, ugh!!
But I think it's acting like a stabilizer for me...I think I'm going to like!

I'm so happy for you, letting go is such a weight lifted. Please enjoy letting others carry their own weight, fight their own battles and be responsible for their own emotions! Their issues are not your problems to figured out, their battles not your battles to fight, and their emotions are not your your fault or responsibility to balance...it's their insecurities, you don't need to
analyze them....you don't need to carry anyone but yourself!
Be happy....the universe is telling you "give yourself a break, lighten up, you work to hard!!" Lol

posted January 10, 2015 03:47 AM            

Maybe your INTUITION is screaming at you, but you sure are hoping that it's just down to your being too super sensitive ("Call me crazy, but..")

LOOK. You're NOT "crazy". (I KNOW, as I also have Merc/Ur)

I think you're afraid in case you're making a big mistake.
But, we NEVER find out for sure...until we find out..in the end.
One way or the other you are going to find out. That is what living life is all about.

So, meanwhile, UNLESS your fiance is a shady character (eg dishonest dealings, cheating etc in his past)...just carry on.

Some further Q to ask..

How long have you known him?
How long engaged?
How well do you know him?
What is his general reputation? (friends/family etc)
How does he get on with his family?
How is his relationship with his parents?
How old are you?

REALLY, these days people give more consideration into buying a CAR & checking out(which they SHOULD)

THAN - Choosing their MATE for Life !

posted January 21, 2015 11:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Try to look at the world in a positive way, the more you feel fear of what others are thinking and doing the more things you should fear will be brought to you.

Your thinking becomes your reality so try to be optimistic instead of distrustful and pessimistic, eventually your positive thoughts will become your reality....but you must work at it constantly and allow yourself to feel peace regarding your situation and trust your in good hands.

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Trust me when I say that I am a very positive thinker!! I have Jupiter high on top conjunct MC and I see positive in the most negative. Saturnine people despise this in me! Anyway, I don't sense something might be coming around the corner that might be "bad news", I KNOW it's coming and I have always been correct! This is not me on my high horse talking but me being so in tune with people that I sort of suffer from it.

posted January 21, 2015 12:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
Trust me when I say that I am a very positive thinker!! I have Jupiter high on top conjunct MC and I see positive in the most negative. Saturnine people despise this in me! Anyway, I don't sense something might be coming around the corner that might be "bad news", I KNOW it's coming and I have always been correct! This is not me on my high horse talking but me being so in tune with people that I sort of suffer from it.

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