posted December 19, 2014 08:12 AM            

Recently and a few times over many years I've been attacked by someone online saying that I am an alcoholic. Apparently trying to make me feel bad about something they think I am. I am not, but I do drink and I don't feel guilt around it. That has taken honesty and self awareness on my part. I know what I'm dealing with and this person doesn't. I do not and would never feel bad or guilty about it, because I understand it too much. I won't go too deep into my personal life because that's not the point of the thread, but I have dealt with it firsthand in many ways and i know a lot about it, so I would never ever do something like that to someone who might be addicted to drugs or alcohol. It's a horrible, insensitive and dangerous thing to do to someone who suffers with this. Even worse when someone does it because it makes them feel better about themselves.

The point of this thread is to raise some awareness and hopefully help people who do demonize addicts to understand more and why they should stop. I"ve noticed many times throughout my life how people with little understanding of addicts will try to demonize them and it reminds me of how uneducated many people today still are.

I thought this would make a good topic of conversation and a way to help educate the masses and people who might be contributing to addicts problems and compounding them because they know even worse because they don't understand the reality of the disease. (and I know many don't believe it's a disease)

Below is a good article I just found. Anyone is welcome to share their thoughts or experiences. I'd love it if people added to the conversation with facts to help stop the stigma associated with people who struggle with addiction and their disease. I know it will take time for people to really wake up to the truth, but as a whole, i think we are slowly getting there.

Thanks.

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The stigma around addiction hurts everyone

It’s time to end the stigma around addiction.

When Phillip Seymour Hoffman died Feb. 2, a few caring people reached out to express their concern for me in light of the news. You see, like Hoffman, my brother died with a needle in his arm. Every time I hear about a heroin overdose, I’m slammed with memories of my brother and forced to face unresolved feelings about his death. This high-profile case was the most difficult example yet because it made it crystal clear how much work still needs to be done in educating people about addiction.

The very day he died, people were saying that Hoffman’s death was his own fault, that he was stupid for doing drugs, and that he got what he deserved.

*******(twitter comments were inserted here and can be read at the link below)

It wasn’t just strangers. Someone I know and respect posted on Facebook that “suicidal celebrities” like Hoffman “stuck the barrel of the metaphorical gun in their mouth before pulling the trigger.” My friend took umbrage with people saying Hoffman was taken from us too soon. “Bull – he wasn’t taken, he went. … It is a consequence of one’s own actions, after all.” It is hard not to internalize these words—just replace “Hoffman” with “Becky’s brother” and you may see why it stings.

After my initial reaction to the post (shock, disgust, anger), I left a short comment that I hoped explained my thoughts, yet belied the true depth of my feelings.

“I don’t want to get into this too much, but as the sibling of someone who died by heroin OD, I’ll just say you may be oversimplifying things a bit and sound a wee bit insensitive. Drug addiction (and for that matter, suicide) aren’t as simple as a ‘choice.’ They are both symptoms of deep psychological problems that are almost never a ‘choice.'”

Here are some facts:

*Drug abuse is a diagnosable brain disease, according to the International Classification of Diseases and Health Problems (World Health Organization) and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (American Psychiatric Association).

*At least 15.3 million persons in the world have drug use disorders (World Health Organization). That’s more than 15 times the number of people who are diagnosed with breast cancer worldwide each year (Susan G. Komen Foundation).

*37 percent of people who abuse alcohol and 53 percent of people who abuse drugs also have at least one serious mental illness (Journal of the American Medical Association).

*61 percent of individuals with bipolar disorder also had a substance abuse disorder, more than five times as likely as the general population (Journal of the American Medical Association).

*Drug and alcohol abuse kills more than 100,000 Americans each year (National Institute on Drug Abuse), and 100% those who die were someone’s family member.

*Drug abuse is a treatable, but not curable, chronic disorder that can result in death. That makes it similar to diabetes, asthma, and many other diseases. Yet, while no one would blame an asthmatic for his condition (“he should just take control of his breathing”), demonizing people with substance abuse problems is commonplace.

It is true that people who abuse alcohol or drugs harm themselves with their own behavior. Their actions also hurt those around them. They can be selfish and manipulative and lazy and mean and all of the other stereotypes you’ve heard or perhaps even said. If you’ve never suffered from addiction yourself or witnessed its effects firsthand, that may be the entirety of your understanding of this illness. If so, be grateful.

No disease is as simple as a list of symptoms. Behind any illness is a human being, as flawed as any other, who is feeling real pain and trying to find a way to survive and maybe even thrive despite the diagnosis. Those suffering from addiction may have different symptoms than someone who has cancer or lupus, but their battle is just as real. They are just as real, and the people who love them are just as real.

Addiction is not easy, as anyone who has experienced or witnessed it knows. For those unable to admit they have a problem, it’s a daily battle within their own head and with the world around them. It’s a roller coaster of emotional and physical highs and lows between hits. For those able to admit their problem, it’s a struggle of trying to quit (and then stay sober) while dealing with pressure and judgment from family, friends, and society. It’s also living in constant fear of the disease returning.

****stat chart at link

The stigma around addiction harms not only those suffering from the disease, but also leaves their families plagued with guilt and shame. While no one would lie about a mother battling cancer, it happens all the time in the secret world of addiction. When someone dies from drug or alcohol abuse, the family members often suffer in silence, afraid to reach out for support for fear of being judged.

I may not have the power to change the stigma, but I can speak my truth without shame: My brother died from a heroin overdose. His death wasn’t his fault, he most certainly wasn’t stupid, and he didn’t get what he deserved. I blame his disease for his death, but I don’t blame him or myself.

I’ve spent the nearly 2 weeks since Hoffman died thinking a lot about how we demonize addicts and the unnecessary pain it causes them and their loved ones—people already riddled with an almost unbearable load of awful feelings. I may not persuade you to change your beliefs about addiction, but I do hope you’ll at least stop to think before laying blame, asserting guilt, or casting judgment. Perhaps you’ll even put yourself in someone else’s shoes or, better yet, sit and talk with someone dealing with addiction (either themselves or a family member) to learn more about the realities of the disease.

I also urge you to read these two brilliant articles on the subject: “Philip Seymour Hoffman and the Tragedy of Addiction,” by Kristin Iversen (Brooklyn Magazine), and “Philip Seymour Hoffman is Another Victim of Extremely Stupid Drug Laws,” by Russell Brand (The Guardian). They do a fine job of teaching us a little about empathy and isn’t that, after all, what it really means to be human?

Finally, if you are so inclined, please join my fight against the stigma and leave a comment with your story of addiction. Putting a face on this disease is the first step in making a profound change in perception. Thank you.
http://www.beckymollenkamp.com/the-stigma-around-addiction-hurts-everyone/

posted December 19, 2014 08:32 AM            

In Seattle, we have a radio show hosted by former child star Danny Bonaduce that I often listen to on my way to work. He has a segment called “Danny Bonaduce Life Coach” where he helps callers with their various problems: divorce, unemployment and most often, addiction.

On this morning’s show a man called in, distressed about getting help for his substance abuse problem in light of financial difficulties. He thought that because he had a disease, his insurance would cover some or all of his treatment for it. But of course, as Danny told him, that wasn’t the case.

Though The Mayo Clinic (and every other notable medical group) validates alcoholism and drug addiction as a disease, our country treats these individuals as lesser members of society.

Though I’m not an addict, I’ve loved and hated addicts all my life. It took me over 30 years to truly understand that they couldn’t control what their bodies were telling them to do, but I got there.

Though their actions may seem selfish, on a purely biological level they are not.

Imagine yourself walking through the dry desert, the hot sun beaming down upon you, dehydrated and starved for even just a drop of water.

At that moment in time, you’d probably trade your clothing, your electronics—anything for a precious drink to quench your unimaginable thirst.

That’s how addicts feel every minute of every day: they’re thirsty for their poison because their bodies are telling them they need that poison to survive.

I was devastated to hear of the recent passing of genius actor Philip Seymour Hoffman. So young, so talented, so unfair.

Even more devastating has been the commentary emerging in the days following his death. Instead of letting his family, friends and fans grieve in peace, our community of haters on the Internet has to shame him, prove they amongst the living are better than he could have been because they’re not laying on a floor with a heroin needle in their arm. At least not yet.

Entertainment Weekly put him on the cover of their next issue, and I applaud them for doing so. What infuriated me were the comments that bubbled up when they posted said cover online on Facebook. Folks who were angry that they were memorializing someone who died of an overdose. They called the deceased “stupid” and worse.

I can’t imagine that those stone throwers have never had to deal with addiction, but boy they’re lucky they dodged that bullet if they haven’t.

From those of us who have experienced it: It’s a horrible existence. For those who deny they have a problem, it’s a constant uphill battle just to keep them alive; for those who admit they have a problem, it’s a struggle to get them help (even if they have the means) because they fear the repercussions to their reputation. They fear that jackasses like the haters on the EW Facebook page will prevent them from getting work, or being accepted at church or attending social functions with loved ones. They fear they’ll lose their dignity, so often times they continue abusing to mask the pain of that fear.

So, how do we solve this?

First, we could take a cue from Portugal, who decriminalized drugs, which decreased drug use in their country dramatically.

Second, we could promote effective treatment centers like the world-renowned Hazleden as places to go for wellness much like a yoga spa rather than make them the punchline of jokes.

Third, we could invite compassion back into the conversation, so when the unthinkable does happen, we help those affected heal instead of demonizing their dearly departed.

Can you imagine taking to a public Facebook page to call a recently passed cancer-victim “stupid?” Neither can I, but cancer and addiction are one and the same: their victims lost a genetic game.

Just like cancer, environmental factors are also to blame (i.e., a smoker that develops lung cancer), but some of us are far more likely to develop an addiction than others.

posted December 19, 2014 08:43 AM            

It all boils down, fundamentally, to an unhealthy clinging and latching onto the ego. We've lost so much sight of compassion and empathy that it became so easy for us to demonize anything or anyone that fits outside of the structural societal schema. It's always relative to the context, of course, but the root of the problem is most certainly singular.

It is, without a doubt, mind-boggling to see such a critique come from an alcoholic. Just as much as it is nauseating for me to deal with the hypocrisy of some Arab men who, have sex like it's no one's business, demonize and belittle women who have lost their virginity.

Every culture has its struggles, so it's not really a critique on culture but rather a critique on the process of enculturation of humanity. But, as I've stated, it all boils to down to lack of compassion. And lack of compassion, I believe, is a result of losing touch with one's spirit and soul. And losing touch with one's spirit and soul is a result of individuation. And individuation is a result of greed. And greed is a result of over-estimation of the ego.

Just a simplistic breakdown of how I view the issue. I know I don't exactly address the specific problem, but I think the specificity of it all is just deluding us from the greater focus.

posted December 19, 2014 08:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Remove the jab you took at me, or I will close this thread, because in that light this thread is only a thinly disguised excuse for others to jump on that bandwagon and attack me. If this thread were genuine, you would have not used it to allude to me and take another jab in violation of our truce.

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posted December 19, 2014 08:52 AM            

I'm going to send this now because I'm afraid the thread will close.

posted December 19, 2014 08:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Remove where you alluded to me. Are you refusing to do so?

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Maybe instead you could say you're sorry. No, I will not be editing out the experience I went through - numerous times might I add.

It has to do with the point of the subject matter and there's no reason why you can't let it carry on. I never used your name. If you don't like it, that is your own problem and something you have to deal with. Many people here deal with what they perceive as thinly disguised jabs and nothing is done about it. You can think whatever you want, but I know it was not. Like I said, certain things have happened over the past few days and this subject has been on my mind.

Now can we let the discussion continue? Or is this going to be all about you? Hopefully not.