posted March 15, 2015 08:52 AM            

ANYWAY...

My best friend has just become engaged to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend told me that he planned to propose to her 4 days ago, but I was under the impression that it would be in July (her birthday month).

When I found out about the plan, I was shrieking because I was/am so happy for her and the fact that she is going to become someone's wife.

This has always been a big deal because I have a sister but we are not close at all - in fact we haven't spoken for 12 years. She has a brother only and no sisters. So, our friendship is very sisterly!!!!! She knows most things about me, and we are very open with each other.

We have always talked about our weddings with each other, and we mutually agreed that we would be each other's bridemaids.
So, I am thinking... HELL YES... my sister is getting married!!!!

But, I can't lie, when I initially found out... I had a little cry. Not because I wasn't happy for her, far from it! I was more sad for me, and the fact that I don't even have a boyfriend. It's always a 'you're a great girl, but...'

I honestly thought that my last relationship would end in marriage, but to be back at Square One, with no potentials around me and such a "long" path ahead in regards to marriage, it is a bit sad.

So, I called my mum. My mum, being my mum said 'I know how you feeling, don't worry. You're time is coming' and I appreciated that - temporarily; but I don't think that it is easy. It is hard very to keep the faith when your experiences have been so **** . When you're not someone who gives their heart away easily and when it seems that often what you want eludes you and "your" person always seems to pick something or someone else. So, I cried and then I stopped and it went back to - WOOOOO WEDDING!!!!

And then... her boyfriend proposed to her yesterday instead, as opposed to July. So, now, the wedding is in my face and I am just like... ahhhhhhhhhh! She has been texting me all day. We've been exchanging emojis and texts about dresses and flowers etc.

However, the question is back... When will it be my turn? [rhetorical]. I feel like I am the only one still left sitting on the shelf. I don't think it helps that Saturn is transiting my 7th house like a little ***** .

However, regardless of THOSE feelings. I am happy for my sister. I actually cannot wait to be her bridesmaid because I feel that she is so special. She deserves the best!!!!