posted June 16, 2015 10:36 PM            

Do you experience the presence of lost relatives or friends? Or is just something we create in our own minds as a way of remembering them?

Music to go with my mood (he also used to sing this song)...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X7XzFg86To

posted June 16, 2015 11:20 PM            

I did, too.

I feel him around me in a diffused, abstract kinda way. I guess I'm satisfied that I knew him well and was fortunate to have him...he was the hero of my youth.

My dad liked Pink Floyd, like me.

posted June 16, 2015 11:22 PM            

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posted June 16, 2015 11:37 PM            

And I remember I'm Italian when I do that. Makes my blood cells come alive or something.

Time to Say Goodbye

Anyway...

posted June 17, 2015 12:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

I'm sorry you lost your father. For me, too...I think the way they die is really the worst thing so yes, much of my sorrow is still centered on that, after all this time.

---

Thanks Faith (and Ami).
Yes I think it's the way he went that was so heartbreaking. It was sad to see him wake up to the fact that he couldn't beat this one. He still had all his mental faculties till the end.

He was a kind man. Not as affectionate as I would have liked (we had an odd relationship really) but I always knew he would always be there if I was ever in trouble. I've come to terms with him being gone and think I dealt with the death well at the time which means it's less grieving down the road. You start to look back with affection. I think I'm also down because I see my mother deteriorating slowly too now and I'm not looking forward to when SHE finally goes.

Cycle of life I guess. Except there is no cycle for me as I don't have young ones of my own to cheer me up.

Sorry just feeling a bit gloomy right now. It will pass I'm sure.

Cool that your dad liked Pink Floyd. I almost had a chance to tour with them (they were looking for a female sax player but in the end cancelled all auditions and went with their original (male) sax player) so I never got the chance! (I did later once do a gig with a Pink Floyd tribute band though who were pretty awful!)

posted June 17, 2015 01:45 AM            

I hope your mother keeps her mind intact as long as possible and has a lot of good experiences even afterwards. My mother-in-law always loved good food, you could get her to smile with the right dessert.

Oh and please don't be sorry for the topic ~ losing a parent is hard, losing parents is hard. Those of us who have been through it totally understand. Nothing sucks worse than watching a loved one suffer.

And I know that when both parents die, most people undergo a kind of drastic change of outlook. It's very hard coming up to that inevitability.... I hope in your case, you don't have to experience that for quite a long time.

Wishing you peace & comfort

posted June 18, 2015 08:36 AM            

My dad's passed but i don't ever feel him around me. A psychic told me he was attached to me and it was effecting me very negatively (not on purpose), but we supposedly moved him on that day. I'm not sure what i believe about that whole thing (which i don't want to go into more detail about). I have a feeling there is at least some truth to that.

But anyway, just last week I was working on some designs on my computer when i started noticing this strong floral smell out of nowhere - like roses or some other unidentifiable flower(s), but it also smelled almost sweet...like i could almost taste it too - hard to explain. It was LOVELY and very strong. I was in a bit of a meditative/creative zone at the time and remember also feeling very peaceful almost out of body suddenly. I felt very light and happy. I sat there taking it in, wondering where it could be coming from and trying to identify the exact scent.

All of my windows and front and back doors were closed. I got up and walked around trying to see where it could be coming from. Only when I sat in my chair could i smell it again. I had never smelled it before and wanted to identify and pinpoint it.

Then my neighbor comes to the door to ask to borrow something. Right away he asks: "Are you burning incense?" I said "No." and he said that whatever perfume I was wearing smelled "wonderful" lol! I was not wearing any. I closed the door and sat back down and just like that, the scent was gone. I tried to pick up on it again, but about all i could smell was slight lingering smell of onions i had caramelized earlier.

I don't jump to think everything is some kind of divine spiritual encounter or experience anymore like i used to in the past, but i do think something like that was going on there. I've had experiences with clairolfication "psychic smell" before, but this was one to remember. Even my neighbor picked up on it. Maybe i was visited by a spirit guide or angel of some sort.

Awhile back a different psychic told me she saw a whole lot of spiritual protection moving around me, healing me, the kind which she usually only sees around people who are going through really rough times, trauma /abuse victims and/or some kind of major crisis. Something to that effect. I'd like to believe that's true. Who knows. I'd like for it to break through some more, if that's the case. Was a nice experience so i thought i'd share.

posted June 18, 2015 08:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
For me, too...I think the way they die is really the worst thing so yes, much of my sorrow is still centered on that, after all this time.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
And I know that when both parents die, most people undergo a kind of drastic change of outlook. It's very hard coming up to that inevitability...

---

True for me too.

posted June 18, 2015 12:35 PM            

The first time, I was at a religious conference and I was crying my heart out.

Then, something opened up is the best way to see it and I saw him extending his hand to me.

I raised my hand up and touched his.

The "funny thing" was that he did not know me.

It was like he was on a mission but I was not his mother, or anyone he knew.

The only way I can explain it is that in heaven, there is no sorrow and he would have sorrow to see me so sad.

I don't know if that is why but it happened two more times and he did not know me, either.

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posted June 18, 2015 01:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jo B:
Thanks for sharing your stories, T and Ami.

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posted June 18, 2015 05:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by T:
True for me too.

and to you all.

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Same from me.

And T, I'm sorry, I didn't even notice this thread got bumped or I would have replied sooner.

quote:

---

Originally posted by T:
Awhile back a different psychic told me she saw a whole lot of spiritual protection moving around me, healing me, the kind which she usually only sees around people who are going through really rough times, trauma /abuse victims and/or some kind of major crisis. Something to that effect. I'd like to believe that's true. Who knows. I'd like for it to break through some more, if that's the case. Was a nice experience so i thought i'd share.

---

I'd love to believe it's true, too.

Seems you are very healed up considering your life, and how broken it could have left you. It does make a person wonder if you've had some help from mysterious places. I like to think so.

And I've smelled things out of nowhere before, too, but there wasn't enough of a clear-cut reason to suspect it was supernatural, especially since the scent had no obvious clues about its reason for being there.

posted June 18, 2015 05:41 PM            

About 8 months after my dad died, my aunt died. I wasn't prepared for the emotional effect her funeral was going to have on me and spent most of the time in the bathroom, trying to get my composure.

So I got home and my husband and children were out somewhere. It was a nice sunny day, no storms or anything. I was vacuuming the playroom and started talking out loud to my father, explaining about how hard the funeral was, and thanking him if he did anything to influence my one cousin to make me feel welcome.

Right after I did that, all the power in the house shut off. It was dramatic because the vacuum and the air conditioner had been running noisily, and many lights shut off. So I just stood there in the dim silence.

I said, "DAD? Is that you??"

And everything came right back on again, instantly.

posted June 18, 2015 05:51 PM            

I guess I wish other people were there to witness the timing. It was just like a conversation. I talked, then he "talked," then I responded, and he responded.

posted June 18, 2015 09:26 PM            

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posted June 19, 2015 01:29 PM            

My experience was with my Grandfather. Now, I wasn't particularly close with him. He mainly kept to himself when I would visit. He was a heavy smoker and drinker and was pretty old when I was young so I didn't have much time with him anyways. He passed away when I was 12. He wasn't the greatest father or husband, he was an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, and a womanizer.

posted June 19, 2015 01:48 PM            

You and I both have Pisces moons in the 8H.

I've wondered if I visit with spirits in my dreams. Sometimes it really seems to be the case.

I had a similar incident with my paternal grandfather. He was a very austere, stand-offish person by all accounts. He had rheumatoid athritis for most of his life and constant, physical pain shaped his demeanor. He died before I was born.

It's the oddest thing because my father always told me that his father would have adored me. Now....my father did not get along with his father...hardly anyone did. So it was just this bizarre little detail of my early life, that my dad would keep telling me this. I think if anyone overheard him, they would be dumbfounded.

A few years ago I had a dream where my grandfather was painting, and he invited me to come paint with him. We were painting water lillies. And he was teaching me and thrilling over everything like he did-- absolutely-- adore me. It was an extremely vivid experience. I woke up feeling like someone truly loved me with a very pure and total love.

Told my oldest brother about the dream and he just laughed. "That would not happen in a million years! You don't know him!!!"

I'm still convinced that I'm the one who knows him.

posted June 19, 2015 03:14 PM            

I had a vivid dream about my father about a year after he died (I was in California at the time). I dreamt I was visiting the house where he lived at the time he died - this was the family house I grew up in (my parents separated when I was about 21 and my mother moved out rather than my father). Anyway, in my dream I was just visiting the house for nostalgic reasons, knowing he was now dead and that other people had since bought the place, then unexpectedly he came out of the door. I gave him a big hug (we were never that physically close) and I was weeping my eyes out, saying how sorry I was that he had died the way he did, in pain and indignity (cancer has horrendous effects on all bodily functions, as some of you may know). He was typically calm and philosophical, giving out that soft warm vibe he sometimes did. The dream was so vivid I woke up in tears. But it helped to resolve all my unexpressed grief about the situation. It was like he came to me in the dream, crystal clear.

Then, another time when I was in Cali, I had a friend staying for Xmas who is psychic (she picks up on spirits in houses amongst other things). I'd showed her a few photos of my father that were on my laptop, for no particular reason other than to show what he'd looked like. The next day, we went to LA Zoo then in the afternoon she came back and said she needed a nap. She slept for an hour or so then when she woke up she said my father had communicated with her in her sleep, saying he knew he'd been a bit distant as a father but that he'd loved me ever since I was born.

posted June 19, 2015 05:45 PM            

Yeah...cancer is no good at all.

I'm scratching my head wondering if I've had any significant dreams about my dad. He died 8 years ago, and it's strange that I haven't had any really memorable dreams. I did have a few where he was just quietly in the background. One in which he communicated to me some of the pain he was in before he left, just by the way he looked.

On a lighter note, many years ago, a boyfriend of mine had such a vivid dream of my mother telling him off, that he kept his distance from me for a while, scared she would come back.

posted June 20, 2015 10:46 AM            

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posted June 20, 2015 05:55 PM            

It's an honor to hear your story...and the reality of your situation. It must hard having a story that is so different from others' ~ almost like, no one can understand, so why bother.

I've never been traumatized the way you were. No, cannot imagine what it would do to me. I've had some hardship, though, and I know the awkward place it puts you in, when you want to be real with people but not make it look like you are complaining out of measure...but not have to get graphic to show them just how entitled you are, to say you are struggling.

*Hug, if you don't mind*

*And some peonies*

I do marvel at your ability to hold yourself together so much. "Holding yourself together" is actually how I think of it...as cohesiveness, having a core, not being scattered all about like an explosion...like the way life seems to totally fall apart sometimes.

I'm really troubled that you don't have a support system. LL is an abstract and sometimes cuckoo support but we are real people so I'm glad that, at least you have us. It's actually a weirdly intimate atmosphere because we show our good sides and bad sides, strengths and weaknesses...you know? People here know my cranky side more than some of my friends do, for real.

But this really isn't any substitute for having a real, supportive family and circle of friends. I do hope you can develop that..it's not too late! And I think you would be an absolutely fantastic addition to any circle that embraces you. Of course! Just like you are here.

Hope I'm not saying too much?

Well, one more thing, you got me thinking about how some folks say, Chiron ought to be the ruler of Virgo. It's a curious thing how the wounded, downtrodden people can be the most inspiring to other wounded people. And of all the signs, Virgo seems most determined to have a plan for recovery, a path and a method, a solid ladder to climb up out of a dark whirlpool. Like you with your Virgo moon, and the books you read and share. Well I just love that about you.

Anyhoo, with or without astrology, I appreciate you TONS. More than you know, and I've already got the altar taking up half the living room.