posted October 13, 2015 07:40 AM            

I find that people want to "make up" with me just to be very cold and distant after.
I even had an ex that wanted sex one last time before it was officially done. She admitted to doing this because it makes her feel better.
I don't understand this thinking.

I have no issue with things ending very badly and just moving on. It hasn't ever bothered me.

Is anyone else like me?

posted October 13, 2015 09:05 AM            

To answer the question, yeah I like to have a peaceful ending, even with friendship. A few words of good-bye, part on amicable terms, get in touch after some time. Now that's the best peaceful ending ever.

Coz I want to treasure the happy memories. People whom I get close to, are special to me in some way.

In the case of romantic involvements, obviously after things end there won't be any feeling of that nature, but I still prefer to keep the platonic connection if possible. I like them as people before liking them in a romantic way, so I don't see why that friendly bond can't survive the break. Unless there is serious bad blood, of course.

Another thing, crappy endings screw up the pretty, sad, bittersweet tales --> I'm half joking here, but it is not terribly far from the truth.

I don't force it though. If the other person fked me over big time then I would not mind ending on a bad note - there wouldn't be anything good for me to salvage.

posted October 13, 2015 09:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Yeah, I need peace. The peace of death

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posted October 13, 2015 11:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
I even had an ex that wanted sex one last time before it was officially done. She admitted to doing this because it makes her feel better.
I don't understand this thinking

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I don't know myself, but what immediately comes to mind is that she wanted to be sure that the reason wasn't her looks. A lot of women are that way, concerned with her attractiveness that most men can't relate to (many men want to be attractive, but not to the all consuming level of plenty of women). And if you can still have sex with her then in her mind she knows that at least it wasn't that she was ugly or some such, and that's comforting to women who think like this.

Another possibility could be that it becomes more naughty since it's entering forbidden territory, or maybe she's hoping for a "rage"-F that at least a few women seem to thrill at.

posted October 13, 2015 02:39 PM            

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posted October 14, 2015 10:47 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I don't think things need to end peacfully but I think most people would agree that it makes it easier to move on if there's some kind of closure. Just think about it, in today's dating culture its common not to get any closure. People just kind of go away and leave you and wondering what the hell happened.

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Unless they get hit by a train, the reason is usually pretty simple: they are not into you or are into someone else. This doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you as a person or they think there's something wrong with you, they may simply realize you are not a romantic match, so basically doing you a favor. Or they fall for someone else in the meantime.

Becoming distant or interrupting the connection is one perfectly valid way to show no desire to continue the connection.

Although if friendship has already been established it's of course very rude and painful, and being careful with someone else's feelings is something we all should try and do, simply stating you see only friendship going on from now on is probably the best thing to say. It doesn't make it less painful though, when one of the two want something romantic.

I talk with lots of people demanding closure, but to me, if someone gets distant or disappears (without reasons related to some serious life problems, illness and so on), that's the closure, that's their "no" message. Unless it's a close friend disappearing out of the blue.

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posted October 15, 2015 12:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:

that's the closure, that's their "no" message.

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