Posts: 11957
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 08, 2016 01:01 AM            

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So I've made acquaintances with a girl at my school. Anyway, she recently broke up with her boyfriend and has been bitter about it. The other day we were talking and the conversation went as follows:

Her: Where are all the decent guys? I am starting to lose hope in finding one.

Me: Oh, decent guys? They are womens guy friends or they have given up and are at home playing video games or doing their own thing.

Her: So.... Some guys just give up?

Me: God, Yes. You are looking at a guy who has given up. A man can only put himself out there so many times and get rejected before he loses patience and gives up.

Her: Well.... Guys who give up dont deserve to meet a woman. Anything that is worth having is hard to get.

Naturally, given my many bad experiences with women, her last comments really rubbed me the wrong way. I used to try as much as any other red blooded heterosexual man, but I got rejected time and time again. I eventually got tired of it and gave up. It got to the point where pursuing women wasn't even fun anymore. As they say, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. That pretty sums up me pursuing women. I have been close to giving up for quite awhile now, but getting stood up a few months ago was the last straw for me. I promised I wouldn't make any more threads like this, but here I am posting one lol. Having said that, this will probably be the last one because I have... well.. given up. I just thought that girl's comments were interesting and worth posting. So yeah, I've given up and you wont have to see any more of these threads from me. Yippee! LOL

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Posts: 2486
From: INTJ
Registered: Jun 2015

posted July 08, 2016 07:43 AM            

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Yeah those are pretty strong words and I definitely see your point. I might take it in a bad way myself. Reading your post though from an outside perspective, she may not have meant it as bad as you think.
It may be her way of saying, "don't give up" or that she herself is giving up and/or wants to be pursued, or is indicating that she is putting her wall up and will be a tough catch. There's certainly multiple ways to look at it.

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Posts: 1725
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011

posted July 08, 2016 11:24 AM            

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Her comment is a bit "entitled". The world isn't that black and white.
There are many reasons a guy won't pursue a girl and vice versa. We have no right to anyone in this world.

Anyway Aquaguy, her comment simply reveals information about HER and HER experiences.
It is not a sweeping fact.

If someone requires the other to walk through fire for them to prove their love, then I'd been considering that person's level of self-worth, and whether it is of the level to sustain a healthy, compassionate and equal relationship with another person anyway.

Elaborate declarations or proofs of love are given because they are natural, not because a person with low self-esteem and worth demands it. That merely assists them in avoiding their personal issues.

Besides, everyone shows love in different ways. If we disagree with, or cannot appreciate someone's love style, we have no business being with them.

Acceptance is crucial, because relationships require equal flexibility and understanding on both sides.

I'm not a believer in "the one" in the sense that you will be instantly and eternally perfect with another. Unfortunately the media peddles this false view of love all the time, leading to entitlements and disappointments in love.

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Posts: 1620
From: Gotham
Registered: Aug 2015

posted July 08, 2016 12:03 PM            

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Her words might've come out harsher than intended.. But it's entirely possible that's she might be just throwing down the gauntlet (i.e. wants you to pursue her).

Or, she means that people expect things to come easy and don't fight for what they want.

You guys seem to have played those same roles in the past, except not with each other. So, both of you are fed up of the same (opposite) thing.

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Posts: 67569
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 08, 2016 06:55 PM            

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She sounds like an immature jerk

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Posts: 8101
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted July 08, 2016 09:45 PM            

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quote:

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Anything that is worth having is hard to get

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Hopefully, she realizes that applies to herself as much as guys.

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Posts: 11397
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted July 09, 2016 01:26 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Her comment is a bit "entitled".

Her comment simply reveals information about HER and HER experiences. It is not a sweeping fact.

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This. Also that dating has just drastically changed to mean something different now than when we (Aquaguy and I) were, for example, 12.

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Posts: 647
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted July 09, 2016 10:05 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Hopefully, she realizes that applies to herself as much as guys.

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Very well put PixieJane! If a guy puts himself out there and is authentic, respectful and honest but doesn't get any signals that the girl might be interested, why would they continue to chase the girl?

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Posts: 8101
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted July 09, 2016 07:37 PM            

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^^

A guy who does isn't likely to be respectful, either.

That aside, there are so many men and women out there who deserve this video sent to them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmE4NU4ljUg

Not saying for everyone, male or female (nor anyone in this thread), but it does for many (and the rest of us can just laugh at the collegehumor-like vid). My BFF (female) has given up, and that video doesn't apply to her. She's also tried all sorts of work inside herself to stop attracting (and being attracted to) losers, but the 2 times she briefly experimented with ending her celibacy (including no dating) showed that the old patterns were again manifesting. (Still, she's found new things to interest herself, and having many interesting spiritual experiences...without the hassle of the losers she used to date.)

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Posts: 66858
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 10, 2016 01:44 PM            

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She seems to be convoluted.

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