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Author Topic:   NoFap Surge in Males
ayujegeg
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posted July 29, 2016 08:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ayujegeg     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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DeeMonroe
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posted July 29, 2016 08:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeeMonroe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The benefits are true. I've never experienced more attention from women though. I'm gay so that might play a role Lol.

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PixieJane
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From: CA
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posted July 29, 2016 09:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Honestly, I don't know what to think of it.

Going by how you worded the question, I believe you think it's a noble, good thing. Maybe it is, but I have my concerns about it, and I'm going to share those here as you asked for my female perspective (which aren't universal by any means). I know some are searching for validation and fake thoughts rather than actual thoughts, but I take such questions at face value and give honest thoughts. Likewise, I'm neither insecure nor heterosexual, so someone watching porn doesn't really bother me, and I'd have no desire to look or act like most porn stars (nor desire the men in them) so I don't get jealous. That caveat out of the way...

x

Is it people taking their power back, or is it people reaching for another momentary feel good solution that does nothing because it's the new fad? Could be a bit of both.

'Course any kind of addiction or obsessive behavior is bad, but so is complete suppression. And those who recover from alcoholism sometimes become "dry drunks" (that is, they have all the same negative traits of when they're drinking without the drinking, like poor interaction skills or inappropriate behavior, only now they can't blame being drunk for it) and I'd wonder how many are like that. And yet perhaps that is a Pluto Scorpio thing, given how both like to go to extremes, even when unhealthy to do so.

That said, impulse control is very important to me. They may feel like punching something (maybe you), but they better control it. A man or woman may want to cheat sexually or even romantically, but I expect them to control their impulses like a grown up rather than act without self-control like an impulsive child unaware or uncaring of consequences. But this doesn't mean they must repress themselves like a Puritan or pretend they don't get angry or refuse to stand up for themselves, only to abide by their agreements and obligations and not be stupid (something that addiction/obsession interferes with greatly, though I wonder how many addicts just lack mature impulse control). It's not the impulses and feelings that define a person to me so much as the ones they choose to act on and how they do so.

x

As for porn itself, I find most of it really silly and don't see the appeal. Perhaps that's part of my demisexuality. But in any case, I think people who mistake porn (and also many romances) for real life need to get a clue in that life works very differently than that, even when so many are TRYING to make the BS fantasy a reality. Furthermore, it's often unhealthy to try to imitate it (and that goes for the romances for women as much as the porn for men). If I were more conspiracy-minded, I'd think romances and porn were promoted not only as a profitable venture, but in their specific unhealthy way that most are so as to maximize dissatisfaction and insecurity among both genders so that corporations can sell them more stuff that's suppose to "fix" the problem in themselves (when the actual problem comes from those trying to sell them a cure).

I suspect many guys who sexually harassed me and got angry when I rejected them were big into porn. Maybe that's because they were frustrated as their obnoxiousness that they considered seductive didn't work for them, but I've seen those same ways of initiating sex in porn, and if the guys thinking that's real expect it to work, then that help explains why they get angry at me for not "following the script," because at some level think that I'd respond sexually to about any other guy who did the same thing, that is I'm rejecting him personally rather than his technique. Granted, there probably is the 1 in 10 times it works for them and that's what they focus on, but in that case, why are they wasting time telling me (sometimes yelling) that I'm a stuck up ***** (sometimes still hoping that I'll change my mind even as they talk to me that way) rather than moving on to find that rare 1 in 10?

Anyway, that's my thoughts on it. I'd have to actually know these people (and knowing one or two isn't knowing them all) personally before I had anything more solid to go on.

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Randall
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From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
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posted July 29, 2016 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What does this have to do with Astrology? Moving to Sweet Peas.

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Dancing Maenad
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posted July 30, 2016 05:54 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can only salute it, having had several relationships go down because of the effects of porn addiction.

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aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12344
From: Rent Free in Grahma male's head
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 30, 2016 07:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not sure what to think about it.

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venus2tinkerbell
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posted July 30, 2016 10:58 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Someone who has knowledge of the chakra system will probably comment, but from what I understand sex and release is supposed to be an exchange of energy. What you give in love and energy you will receive in another, evolved form from your partner. This energy recycling or growth results in increased feelings of fulfillment within the relationship, and helps both individuals to reach higher levels of love and creativity. That's what I got from a YouTube video I saw about a year ago.

When you masturbate you are just shooting energy off into...who knows where, and it will not return. In that way you are depleting your energy.

My first husband was an African drummer who performed for shows, but also religious ceremonies and rituals. He never has sex before drumming. Didn't masturbate period. I had to sneak my porn in where I could. Joking.

There are many reasons he was (when I lived with him) such a powerful individual, and I think that if it was not the regulation of release and abstinence from masturbation, then it was at least his intense focus on his own energy and impeccability (Virgo SN).

When I met him he was an average looking man, with a rusty old Subaru, and nothing but himself to claim. And man did he have a following. He's been gone for 8 years and women still ask about him. They don't just ask. They position themselves in relationship to him when they ask. It's weird. That twinkle in the eye people talk about is in the voice and the shoulders too.

I don't think it's good to go too long without sex or masturbation if you don't have some kind of guidance. I've seen insane men, who that former husband of mine explained needed to release..(?)

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andstuff
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posted August 02, 2016 07:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Funny, i have read that masturbation is allowed during periods of tantric celibacy specifically because sexual/overall energy is not dissipated into another person, but stays with the individual.

I don't think masturbation specifically makes men powerless, I'd rather say these no fap people are trying to root out a problem without identifying the root properly.

Empowerment does not come from lacking (i.e. having to hunt down a female to have an ejaculation outlet), but from a sense of wholeness.

So I say these guys need oriental martial arts or something, would get them a healthy harmoniously built body and a sharp mind.

But the trick is that one needs empowerment for one's own sake, not to get laid or to get other treats from life. I once observed a socially awkward sort of cowering guy taking dance classes "to find friends" as he stated himself, so what. He got a good posture and learned to move, but he was still that insecure unappealing person he was before.

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 12344
From: Rent Free in Grahma male's head
Registered: Jan 2012

posted August 02, 2016 05:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by andstuff:
He got a good posture and learned to move, but he was still that insecure unappealing person he was before.

Wow. That's a very shallow way to look at a person.

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andstuff
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posted August 04, 2016 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Wow. That's a very shallow way to look at a person.

Good luck imagining my self esteem plummeting as I am reading this, sweetheart

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aquaguy91
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From: Rent Free in Grahma male's head
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posted August 04, 2016 06:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by andstuff:
Good luck imagining my self esteem plummeting as I am reading this, sweetheart

I didn't expect that because I could see the typical narcissistic attitude in the post I quoted.

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andstuff
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posted August 05, 2016 02:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I didn't expect that because I could see the typical narcissistic attitude in the post I quoted.

Oh yeah right. I am also a brainwashed feminist who is scheming against every man on earth even at this very moment, remember?

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venus2tinkerbell
unregistered
posted August 06, 2016 08:22 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
At some point in my life I learned that people focus on what you lead them to focus on. If you're insecure about your teeth, and you make your feelings about your teeth the focal point then that is what people will think and talk about and probably in a negative light since that is how it was introduced. If instead you have a generous and warm smile and really hope to communicate kindness when you smile and show your teeth, then that is what will be remembered and discussed.

We can't make people more than they make themselves, especially when we don't really know them. We really can't know more about a person than they communicate to us with body language or actual words.

It's not superficial Aquaguy. It's natural. Don't fight with me. I don't like to fight.

lol. I'm freaking paranoid, but really aquaguy, don't be sharp with me at all. It'll hurt my feelings because I like you. Just consider what I'm saying.

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