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Author Topic:   This is what equality looks like
aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted August 01, 2016 07:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Below is a video where a woman rants about guys not paying for dates anymore. I really hope this becomes more and more common. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kRikFf7rSeI

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Ami Anne
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posted August 01, 2016 09:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Aunt Anomalia
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posted August 01, 2016 09:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aunt Anomalia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not everyone who owns a vagina thinks this way (thankfully). I don't go on dates but if I did and liked someone a lot, I can actually imagine myself pay for everything at least once if I could afford it. No, you can't be my sugar babe

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12muddy
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posted August 01, 2016 09:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Heh, almost as amusing as when some men insist to pay for dates. I personally like splitting the bill, not really because of gender equality, but simply because money doesn't grow on trees.

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mercuranian
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posted August 01, 2016 11:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercuranian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
Not everyone who owns a vagina thinks this way (thankfully). I don't go on dates but if I did and liked someone a lot, I can actually imagine myself pay for everything at least once if I could afford it. No, you can't be my sugar babe



i prefer to pay my own way as well

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PixieJane
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posted August 01, 2016 07:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I also don't expect dates to pay, and am actually wary of it in the rare cases I didn't know someone that well. It wouldn't bother me at all if it became normal to share and split.

She's listed as comedy, so I can't tell if she's serious or being silly. It could be either one, maybe even both. If that's a typical example of her comedy routine then she needs to keep her day job, IMO.

OTOH, that's all a matter of taste...and perhaps tastelessness, as this made me randomly think of a parody that falls under tasteless but makes me laugh:

quote:
Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
Not everyone who owns a vagina thinks this way

This inspired a random memory of a parody (of RWBY, and it wouldn't make any sense unless you've seen the show so I won't link to it) in which two criminals, and a man and a woman, are arguing over who flies the escape plane while facing a Jedi-like person trying to prevent them from leaving (the woman in the plane has similar powers):

WOMAN: You know, we could probably escape if I went out there.

MAN: No way! You're the henchgirl, you fly the plane!

WOMAN: Oh, so I have to fly the plane because I'm the henchgirl?

MAN: Yes!

WOMAN: But a henchgirl is a woman.

MAN: Well, yes.

WOMAN: And women have vaginas, yes?

MAN: Yes.

WOMAN: So whichever one of us who has the vagina has to fly the plane?

MAN: Yes!

WOMAN: Glad we agree. *Runs out of cockpit*

MAN: Wait--AH, DAMN IT! *races to pilot plane before it crashes*

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Randall
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From: Saturn next to Charmaine
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posted August 08, 2016 08:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't mind paying for dates. In a relationship, it should be balanced.

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andstuff
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posted August 09, 2016 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
Not everyone who owns a vagina thinks this way (thankfully). I don't go on dates but if I did and liked someone a lot, I can actually imagine myself pay for everything at least once if I could afford it. No, you can't be my sugar babe



This comment totes made my day.

I'm fine with guys paying for my coffee if I know it to be a gesture of good will and nothing beyond. It's when they think paying for my coffee can buy them something that things get uber creepy (because frankly giving someone access to one's vagina should also be a gesture of good will lol). So sometimes it's safer to pay for oneself, surely there's nothing wrong with that?

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Randall
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posted August 09, 2016 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If someone thinks you "owe them" for paying for a date, then is that really the type of person you want anyway?

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DopGang
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posted August 09, 2016 09:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
If someone thinks you "owe them" for paying for a date, then is that really the type of person you want anyway?

Exactly!

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PixieJane
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posted August 09, 2016 10:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If a guy thinks you owe him because he paid for something, he's not likely to say it upfront (though maybe he did at one time until he realized how much of a turn off that was). He can become angry, bitter, and even violent when he's "taken advantage of," however, and that's a concern.

Though that man would be in the same place as this woman in the vid who believes that men and women should base their interactions on understood deceit. That is, she offers to pay or open the door but he's to know she's lying and step in, while he acts as that woman says he should but is expected that she understands that she is "his" and that as he meets her needs, she is to meet his, which is typically of the erotic kind (some are more patient than others, while others have zero patience at all) while pretending this mercenary/prostitute arrangement is something other than it is.

I've heard of one woman who dropped a guy for another because he respected her stated wishes that they not have sex. It was hard for him, and even stopped a makeout session because he says he was getting too horny, and she told him outright that because he respected her (not in those words) that she dumped him for a guy that didn't respect her wishes, because a man should know that when a woman says she doesn't want sex that she's lying, and aggressively demand it (so that it's all his responsibility and she can feel guilt-free). That's extremely disturbing to me, but the only difference with the woman in the vid is one of degree rather than kind, of saying that boys should be taught by their fathers that women lie and therefore he should disrespect a woman's wishes as the woman secretly desires him to do.

Lots of comments on her video have people blaming feminism, but actual feminists should be flaming her as well for her promoting the idea that a woman is to be assumed to be lying and that a man is obligated to act against a woman's wishes as that's what the woman actually wants him to do.

And unfortunately both types of men and women are too common. It really wouldn't surprise me if an app came out that had "rules" to consult (there are already books and articles on that!) to know when to disrespect each other (and worse). Another one would be an app to compare costs (for women that would be name-brand clothes, makeup, salon, etc, for a guy it would be fuel, food, entertainment, etc). Actually that last one sounds all too possible as it could be tweaked to sell stuff to those using the app. And many men AND women would be shallow enough to eagerly download and use it (especially if it favors the person, that is for a guy it wouldn't count makeup costs for the woman, while for a woman it wouldn't count the cost of fuel for her date driving her around).

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andstuff
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posted August 10, 2016 03:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
If someone thinks you "owe them" for paying for a date, then is that really the type of person you want anyway?

Of course not. But hypothetically if the date is already taking place and all?

Having said that, being a natural born empath, I am highly unlikely to end up on a date with someone I don't want lol.

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firemoon
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posted August 10, 2016 05:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for firemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ugh I don't check back here often but disappointed to know there's still a strong brew of hostility and negativity boiling here..

I work in the restaurant industry aquaguy, and let me just tell you from firsthand experience.. the financial exploitation of innocent men eating meals they got conned into paying for doesn't happen as often as you might think.

Let me get this straight though, you want to move to another country with more strict and traditional gender roles... where women should smile and say thank you for being hit on anytime/anywhere, because Western countries are terrible. But you don't want to have to pay for anything either? What exactly do you want then?


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DopGang
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posted August 10, 2016 09:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've never thought about it much. I've gone in willing to pay but not expecting to. Sometimes I did, sometimes we split it.
Even if I paid and the date didn't go well. Who cares? I went on a date. Could've been sitting at home.

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted August 10, 2016 10:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I never said I don't want to pay. I really don't mind paying.

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DopGang
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posted August 10, 2016 01:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No need to have a defense for what you did or did not say. I didn't mean to imply either. I only meant to give my viewpoint on the subject in a very brief way.

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted August 10, 2016 04:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DopGang:
No need to have a defense for what you did or did not say. I didn't mean to imply either. I only meant to give my viewpoint on the subject in a very brief way.

I was replying to Firemoon.

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DopGang
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posted August 10, 2016 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by DopGang:
[b]No need to have a defense for what you did or did not say. I didn't mean to imply either. I only meant to give my viewpoint on the subject in a very brief way.


I was replying to Firemoon.[/B][/QUOTE]

Oh. Gotcha.

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firemoon
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posted August 10, 2016 10:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for firemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I never said I don't want to pay. I really don't mind paying.

It seems like by posting this video you are saying that though.. Or at least you're saying you don't want to feel pressured into paying (by society's construction of gender roles)

But when the tables are turned.. seems like you want to have your cake and eat it too!

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted August 11, 2016 12:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by firemoon:
It seems like by posting this video you are saying that though.. Or at least you're saying you don't want to feel pressured into paying (by society's construction of gender roles)

But when the tables are turned.. seems like you want to have your cake and eat it too!


Go kick rocks, I am not even gonna waste my time dealing with you.

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firemoon
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posted August 11, 2016 12:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for firemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Go kick rocks, I am not even gonna waste my time dealing with you.

Mkay then!

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PixieJane
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posted August 11, 2016 02:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a list collected of things women do that turn men off. Interesting enough, this is one of them:
http://youtu.be/_fGM5AKeCQA?t=4m56s

"When I get married I can finally quit my job." All respect lost, drove her home and said goodbye.

Since this made "the list" then presumably they got other entries like that, which implies that plenty of women do think like that (as the woman in the vid in the OP does, at least to a lesser degree) with fewer men thinking that's acceptable (and given the realities of the economy and how the extended family is almost destroyed for too many, they have a point).

On the plus side, that does mean the men aren't seeking to put a woman under his thumb (unless he's also a parasite). Of course a guy who wants to dominate a woman is likely to look just for one who'd place herself at his mercy like that, and the smarter ones would even trick her into signing a prenup (she'd think she was signing something else) before marriage. (Though I'm sure some are just traditional.)

The guy helping explain the list does see a difference between those who take care of the home and the woman who just wants her bills paid just for looking pretty (which his money is to help her with), of course. This should be obvious but I'm sure someone is going to interpret it as "stay at home moms suck," when I don't think that's the intent at all. Of course taking care of a home with children is HARD work (and most people can't afford to pay for personal cooks, house cleaners, nannies, etc) which is different than having a permanent paid vacation, which many guys (and gals, who can also find themselves in that situation) can feel taken advantage of rather than in a partnership. But people can be a partner in other ways than bringing home cash, and hopefully people can tell the difference between someone who works hard without pay, and those who are more interested in a free ride with minimal effort.

That aside...I'm sure "Champagne Problems" wouldn't appreciate the next item on the list about stupid voices.

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