posted August 26, 2016 01:59 AM            

My mom whom ive had a complicated/poor relationship with most of my life VOLUNTEERED to be his PCA. My mom is a bit of a controlling person. Not dangerous. But controlling. For year she had major anger problems and have said really awful things to me at times. We argued at lot at first but then i just kinda caved into what she wanted and now we dont fight and shes now medicated. But when it comes to working she's very flaky. And if she is in one of her moods i worry about her working or not.
Which she only does for a couple hours 3 days a week when my boyfriend pic me up.

Basically he's very frustrsted with the fact that i cant seem to make her clock into work at a regular time. That he cant work around her schedule. That she basically waits thr last minute for him to get here before she starts.

And his been taking this frustration out on me. Maybe he's right idk. But anyways i told him as soon as i found out that i needed a ride to school to turn in something. Thats if my mom was working since she was in one of her moods.

So he called wondering if she was working. I still didn't know so i had to call her. And then in the car kept asking me matter of fact questions about why i needed to go go school. So i tried explain what the problem was. Twice cause it wasnt clear to him. And then he yelled at me saying "are we going yo be d*cks to each other now?!" He took my tone the complete wrong way. I was feeling confused and frustrsted trying to explain, not getting made at him. And that kind of language bothers me.

And then goes onto this big thing how i didnt even tell him i was in school and how i cant seem to communicate to him what time he should pick me up etc.and that it would be nice to know those things ahead of time because theres other things he could be getting done.

-when i did tell him when i wss going back to school. I just didnt say anything about it recently because it was kinda of irrelevant to him. A day i dont see him. And because i was stressed out about it enough. Etc etc and i told him i needed to go to school as early as i could.

Then he insisted on knowing how long it was going to take. I said a couple minutes doing this and that. And he replied "do i need to add up the time for you?! I need to know how long its going to be so i know what to pay the meter."

And then said he wouldnt drop me off in front on the school if i was still crying by then. He'd be too embarrassed.

And then i tried to give him my card to pay the meter since made that comment about it. And got mad about that. And i shook my head frustrated. And he asked "what the hell was wrong with me?"

Then i left the car. And we barely talked the rest of the day.

He stopped at a liquor store before we got food. Which shouldnt be too unusual because he does love beer and wine. And stalks up when ever we're in the area. But idk...i couldn't help thinking it was weird timing.

He kissed my temple once while we werent talking. Then later asked if i made it in the car ok. And said he loved me.

It just fighting like this. Kinda puts me in a negative thought spiral. And i makes me wonder if we're really compatible. But i also feel like you shouldnt make any decisions when your not feeling like yourself.

posted August 29, 2016 08:52 PM            

However, it sounds like you're miserable in this one, and it mostly seems like a communication issue.. You don't feel comfortable sharing things with him, and his harsh responses don't make it any easier..

posted August 29, 2016 08:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by eyes_like_pisces:
I dropped out of school 6 year ago to have my son who was born with special needs.

My mom whom ive had a complicated/poor relationship with most of my life VOLUNTEERED to be his PCA. My mom is a bit of a controlling person. Not dangerous. But controlling. For year she had major anger problems and have said really awful things to me at times. We argued at lot at first but then i just kinda caved into what she wanted and now we dont fight and shes now medicated. But when it comes to working she's very flaky. And if she is in one of her moods i worry about her working or not.

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posted September 02, 2016 08:08 PM            

I hope you're feeling a little bit better?

Sat here for 4 hours writing a response to your post the Sunday after you wrote, but at the last moments my post got messed up, and I decided to scrap it and come back later, but that never happened.

I'm glad Elysia responded.

There have been extremely stressful sky transits adding extra tension. You have Pisces in your LL name. A long T-Square with Saturn-Mars squaring Pisces. Mars (when it went backwards, then forward again in Scorpio had been forming a stressful adjustment angle with Uranus-Eris. (Remember the conflicts going on with Lives-Matter issues?) So much rebellion and acting out resistance against authority-forces, not wanting to be told what to do, and holding people to responsibility and promises.

What I saw is that you have had a lot of responsibility, so much on your plate. You are happy to have met someone who likes to 'be there' for you (really, he seems to want to). .... So so precious that he held your face and comforted you like that. That's someone who seemed to understand the stresses HE was feeling too, and took the time afterwards to want to make sure that you were okay going through all this.

When there are a lot of details, and schedules and timings, and shortages and misaligned connections, it's very very easy to 'feel' the irritation, to intellectually be making one correction after another.

(The underneath tone to all of it is a feeling of being victimized--- which those sky transits were very much highlighting the days before and of your posting... You were feeling the emphasized HD of your scuffles along with the energies.)

We aren't always 'aware' of what is bothering us until things come to a head like that. Ego energy is strong and even righteously, 'with' good reasons accompanying too. .... (One good reason for knowing what the general energies are, astrologically-- and what transits are working through your chart. ... I know for me, if I 'know' what's going on, sometimes it doesn't 'stop' me from feeling what I feel?, but it surely helps me either keep equanimity, or, use my energy more productively, or, understand what my partner is going through too??..... When both parties know what's going on inside them, and squabbling occurs, then its easier to resolve.

Sitting down and resolving problems builds trust after a long time. It's like you form layer upon layer upon layer. You each take responsibility for your feelings, while the sharp corners and chips get knocked off the proverbial shoulders. The more you go through, there are successive layers of feeling successful. .... But you must 'work' at keeping that communication-stream clear of debris. Let it accumulate?, and it overflows its banks, even could toxify if dead things get left for too long.

If you tend to be a person (who has had to assume a lot of responsibility) who is into detailings?...... Then, learn how to pull forward all the things you see are good, and play down the faults and failings that arise to cause glitchings. This needs adjustings.

What you feed, grows. .... See all the positive things he does--- He (and YOU), are Loyal people, Faithful, Self-Sacrificing.

Hold these things as Jewels you see IN that person, when the aggravations grow too strong....

I hope you feel better... {{ }}

And I hope you find the one who can see deep inside you, and help you 'feel' the essence of who you are, (and you to him). Squabbles are an opportunity to go deeper, and find the Intimacy available when the streams are cleaned, and the waters of tears turn into tenderness, vulnerability, and appreciation and Love for the Soul you have as individuals and as One as a working-relationship couple.

(music) My Immortal (Evanescence, lyrics) [4:23] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqN5SV7TMn4

And sometimes, you have to step up to be The Hero in the relationship. ..... Including the comforting of your own self. You are an Awesome Woman... Carrying all those Beautiful Loyal Faithful traits within yourself to those dependent on you....

You ARE the gentle and wonderful Star of your Show.... Give yourself such Beautiful Beautiful Credit, sweetie. Realize how much Strength you have, even in a puddle of vulnerability and feeling weak. That is valid too... But at that Core and Center within, you have A Hero supporting you from Within...

Feel Loved, Hugged, and Supported today.

posted September 02, 2016 11:36 PM            

Elysia, I know it is very frustrating when we loose our messages. I appreciate you taking so much time into replying to me! You're right I need to work on my communication skills. It can be difficuly when you dont see them everyday, things we should be discussing feel less natural but I will work on it. Thank you!

Mirage29, it helps hearing about the transits. I have been curious about whats been going on but its been awhile since I've really kept tabs on them.

posted September 03, 2016 11:39 AM            

As in, that aspect of the relationship is causing trouble. You're sensitive, and obviously, judging by his responses, he's not trying especially hard to not hurt your feelings.

posted September 03, 2016 11:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Hello Eyes_Like_Pisces ...

I hope you're feeling a little bit better?

Sat here for 4 hours writing a response to your post the Sunday after you wrote, but at the last moments my post got messed up, and I decided to scrap it and come back later, but that never happened.

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quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:

Feel Loved, Hugged, and Supported today.

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