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Author Topic:   I'd like to talk about Suicide in general
DopGang
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Posts: 2930
From: MBTI - INTJ -- Enneagram - 5w6
Registered: Jun 2015

posted September 12, 2016 07:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
These are simply my opinions and I don't think that I'll end up saying anything offensive but the topic could be sensitive

I wasn't sure what to title this.
You could consider it a vent. It's also not strictly about suicide.

So late last week a teenage boy shot himself outside of a school. It was early in the morning. Just after 7 a.m. He lived but did pass away the next day in the afternoon.
I've learned that he had said some things and posted videos online.

Multiple clips show video game simulations that he made on Steam of actual school shootings and mass murders. The account’s profile picture, an image of the Virginia Tech shooter, Cho Seung-Hui. The videos are all related to mass shootings. Either scenes from movies or video games. One video begins with Dylan Klebold speaking for a few minutes (He was one of the Columbine School mass shooters) then the video goes to a video game. I don't know if it was game hack or what. I don't play them. It was a person running through what looks like a school, lockers and all, and shooting people.
The day before he shot himself he took a video walking through the school. Students walking around and etc. He filmed just going down the hallways of the school. So, it's safe to say I think that he arrived at school early that next morning most likely with the intent to also commit a mass school shooting. However, before doing so perhaps he had a moment of heart you might say, to not hurt others. He still killed himself however and that's still a massive tragedy. I think it's becoming more common that suicidal people give themselves attention before committing suicide. Suicide gets attention but this gets more attention. Same illness, or problem, just expressed differently. Apparently he was bullied a lot.

So I've been feeling frustrated and maybe even a little angry. SURELY someone, if not a few, knew something. Why hadn't anyone said anything? Word is, even the school knew things and shrugged it off as if "it couldn't happen here." So, that's my frustration I guess. Short as it is.

Now, I'm not trying to oversimplify the causes of such things. I think we could be here forever going over it all. Each case is probably unique. I've always thought though that one big issue is "identity". Young people often have the enormous ocean in front of them. They don't know what they want to do, how they are going to do it, or even if it's possible. Wanting to do something to leave that mark on the world. A famous musician, a successful doctor, or an actor/actress, or whatever. Though not always being given confidence building or direction. In today's world while searching for that identity and direction we see that money is almost worshiped. Sexuality, attractiveness, popularity, etc. It's almost as though our identities are attached to thing outside of our hearts and minds. Identity becomes attached to money, success, the clothes you wear, your body, your face, how funny you are, etc. All the while I think emotions are frowned upon sometimes. As if it's weakness to show emotion. We need to be "strong" and "cold", "Nothing upsets us." So fewer kids end up talking about it.
Not to mention with technology and such, bad things spread faster and we are often much more distant. Not close to those we talk to online but because we're online we're more distant from the person sitting next to us. All of these things, and there's many more of them, add up to a big problem. That's my view. It adds up to unhealthy development of young minds and even stressful for adults who grew up in a much different time.

So it makes me wonder, why didn't anyone get this kid some help? Maybe they are afraid to upset him. Sometimes I think that with this kind of distant.... I don't know. We often have attitudes of "to each their own" and "Not my problem", "If they need help it's up to them." Things of that nature. It's like we don't know how to help each other any more.
I wonder, what do we need to change to get it into young minds, "If your friend, or your classmate, your friend neighbor are displaying signs, GET THEM HELP. Reach out. Better to be wrong than sorry that you didn't. To teach our kids what the signs are, to be brave enough to get them help. You know?
I mean there's much more. MUUUCH more. I don't mean to imply that I've pinpointed all of the problems and have solutions.
What I am saying is...
I wish that I could help. I guess that's really it. I wish that I could help. I wish that I knew about these things. So that I could get them help. If they want to talk, talk.
I've posted elsewhere here that I'm very familiar with that darkness. That dark side of us. I've been there.
It just feels like we're so close to being able to really make a difference.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 12, 2016 07:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 12059
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted September 13, 2016 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
All you can do is to try to be there for people who are lonely and going through a hard time. One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how cold and/or cruel people can be these days. I constantly see people who delight in kicking people when they are down in my day to day life. Don't be that person. Everyone needs a support system, but these days more and more people are disconnected from others. If you sense that someone is lonely or troubled, reach out to them! The smallest gestures like making it a point to check up on them to ask how their day is going can make all the difference in the world.

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DopGang
Knowflake

Posts: 2930
From: MBTI - INTJ -- Enneagram - 5w6
Registered: Jun 2015

posted September 13, 2016 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DopGang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yep. I agree with you.
Also, if it wasn't clear, I didn't know the kid but it's sad.

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 12059
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted September 13, 2016 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As cliche as what I said sounds, it works. I know from personal experience. I've felt lonely at times and then had a woman say hi to me or greet me with a smile and it literally made my day. The little things are what really matters. Most people are too busy looking at their cell phone screens to do the little things though.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 68664
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 13, 2016 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
All you can do is to try to be there for people who are lonely and going through a hard time. One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how cold and/or cruel people can be these days. I constantly see people who delight in kicking people when they are down in my day to day life. Don't be that person. Everyone needs a support system, but these days more and more people are disconnected from others. If you sense that someone is lonely or troubled, reach out to them! The smallest gestures like making it a point to check up on them to ask how their day is going can make all the difference in the world.


So well said, AG

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Elysia
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Posts: 1964
From: Gotham
Registered: Aug 2015

posted September 13, 2016 07:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Elysia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
..for the whole post.

We have a situation, one of my friends.. That I think I mentioned in passing on the other thread. Not completely out of the woods with that one, but trying. (Not like this one, but related -- severe mental health issues and suicidal tendencies).

People have lost the significance of "reaching out" to someone, even if it's their own friend. Just so wrapped up in themselves. Not that they mean harm, but they don't realize that a simple, kind conversation could be the difference between here-today and gone-tomorrow.

But on the other hand, there are some folks who will lend an ear, or some soothing words. You don't have to be a friend or neighbour, to show some empathy. I think, Dop, you mention a lot of times that the person going through stuff will benefit first and foremost from getting it all out, and might even talk themselves through a lot of their own questions. It's true. Sometimes just listening, truly listening, in person - is all someone needs. You can almost feel the relief in the air as they unburden themselves.

The biggest problem, that remains, is still willful or casual neglect. On so many levels. Not totally un-fixable, though. We can take baby steps in that direction. For instance, someone who I think is being unhealthily isolated - I'm trying to get people talking to him again (not being obvious about it ofcourse). We can always try to get people to talk to each other. And talk to them ourselves, of course. Communication is a powerful thing.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 68664
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 13, 2016 09:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks to what you wrote, AG, I wrote to some people who I know needed a lift and just said that I was thinking of them.

I could tell it really lifted them up.

When I am down, someone, always, says something wonderful to me.

It is important to watch for times when we can lift other people up.

The cool thing is that we get happy too xx

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teasel
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Posts: 8781
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 29, 2016 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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