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Author
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Topic: Question about karma. Or whatever it is...
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 07, 2018 06:09 AM
  
Through my own marriage, and through my husband's relationship with his daughter, I have come to realize just how much of an a s s hole my dad was to my mom.
I always came first and she was ignored. I could do no wrong and if I did-which I ALWAYS did ( I was a sly little *******)-it was promptly smoothed over by dad whereas mom wanted to teach me a lesson. She got **** for it later. That's pretty much all I have to say. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2018 01:11 PM
 IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 30, 2018 06:53 PM
I had similar experiences.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 25, 2018 01:21 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 26, 2018 12:01 PM
My dad was the same way.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 01, 2018 10:39 AM
We carry the imprint of our parents, and that impression is undeniable. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 04, 2018 07:02 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
My dad was the same way.
What to do? IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 04, 2018 04:25 PM
Rise above.IP: Logged |
Ayelet
Moderator Posts: 3509
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 04, 2018 06:00 PM
Do you feel your husband treats you the same way your dad treated your mom? If so, does your husband know how you feel?IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 05, 2018 09:05 AM
IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 05, 2018 04:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ayelet:
Do you feel your husband treats you the same way your dad treated your mom? If so, does your husband know how you feel?
Yes and yes. Some things he has changed because it struck a chord with him but other things not so much. The problem with my husband is that he knows I don't lie to him and this is a personal choice I made based on his personality. Even a white lie would cause huge problems between us so what puzzles me is that when I tell him the truth the way I see it, he thinks I am lying. But certain behaviors are blatantly obvious. I would NEVER have noticed them had it not been for the fact that I lived with them when I was a child. My mom near enough couldn't stand me because I got so much attention from my dad and she drank a lot and she said some REALLY mean things to me. It's all forgiven now and she's sober and I think she's just happy that I am not around anymore. Now that I am in the same situation I actually feel even more sorry for what she went through-NOT saying it was my fault. It was my Dad's.
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 06, 2018 10:29 AM
Forgiveness erases Karma. IP: Logged |
Ayelet
Moderator Posts: 3509
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 07, 2018 08:00 PM
Now that you understand the way your mother felt, what would you advise her? Whatever you would say to her, is it applicable to you?IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2018 10:40 AM
Great questions.IP: Logged |
Ayelet
Moderator Posts: 3509
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 08, 2018 01:03 PM
Needless to say, I'm sorry you go through this. It sounds painful. What I meant was for you to try and use the new understanding you gained as a guide for you to cope with it all.IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 5070
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 09, 2018 01:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ayelet:
Needless to say, I'm sorry you go through this. It sounds painful. What I meant was for you to try and use the new understanding you gained as a guide for you to cope with it all.
She was economically "stuck" with my dad which is something that won't happen to me and this is something that I am suppose to learn; to be economically independant. Can't recall which placement/s I have that indicate this but I've read it quite a few times. I am free to leave when I want I suppose but I am still pondering on the irony of it all.. IP: Logged |
Ayelet
Moderator Posts: 3509
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 12, 2018 09:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
She was economically "stuck" with my dad which is something that won't happen to me and this is something that I am suppose to learn; to be economically independant. Can't recall which placement/s I have that indicate this but I've read it quite a few times. I am free to leave when I want I suppose but I am still pondering on the irony of it all..
Perhaps you don't leave yet, love to your partner aside, because through this dynamics you re-live your childhood in a way you didn't guess before you would. Maybe it is a surprise, a shock, and even though it's painful, you are mesmerised to the experience. By what you wrote it seems you are planning on leaving, not putting up with this or being unkind to the daughter, the way your mom did. I wish for you the least hurt feelings when you do what you feel you have to do, whatever it is...   IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 13, 2018 06:20 PM
Thanks, Ayelet.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 04, 2018 07:52 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 21, 2018 09:45 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 14, 2019 03:33 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Morrigan
Knowflake Posts: 83
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted January 16, 2019 11:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ayelet:
I wish for you the least hurt feelings when you do what you feel you have to do, whatever it is...
Ditto. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 73936
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 16, 2019 03:09 PM
I am sorry you are going through this, Charlie.------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 08, 2019 07:48 PM
Same. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 139168
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 19, 2019 10:40 AM
Update?IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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