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Author
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Topic: What is wrong with people that are attracted to unavailable people?
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SleepyDiary
Knowflake Posts: 243
From:
Registered: Apr 2017
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posted December 25, 2020 03:26 PM
  
What deep seated problem do they have? I really wanna know. What is the lesson here? IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 138138
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2020 02:27 PM
People want what they can't have.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 73846
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 27, 2020 03:29 PM
Fear of intimacy. Down deep you know you won't have to get close------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Graham
Knowflake Posts: 2295
From:
Registered: Apr 2019
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posted December 28, 2020 03:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
People want what they can't have.
People want what they desired but did not get in childhood. For example ... adults who enjoy being spanked often have parents who ceased to have any other kind of physical contact with them (such as hugging and cuddling) after the age of two. Hence ... a childhood conflict between the desire to be independent and the desire to be attractive might produce an adult that (consciously or unconsciously) seeks relationships only with those who are unavailable. ... And, if the unavailable person subsequently become available, Mr/Ms Independent will cease to find him/her attractive.
IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy
Knowflake Posts: 329
From:
Registered: May 2020
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posted December 28, 2020 10:10 AM
I am of the same opinion with each one of you.My thought is that such person did not feel love, affection and security in their childhood years, so how can they know that they deserve love? They choose someone who cannot give all of love and they are ok with it. They are used to be on their own... Still...You can break the pattern.
I wonder...Can you break away from the memories? IP: Logged |
MoonMystic
Knowflake Posts: 4163
From:
Registered: Nov 2016
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posted December 28, 2020 01:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
People want what they can't have.
This ^ IP: Logged |
SleepyDiary
Knowflake Posts: 243
From:
Registered: Apr 2017
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posted December 29, 2020 07:56 PM
I appreciate all the answers TY everyone. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 138138
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 18, 2021 03:39 PM
This is quite common.IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator Posts: 3635
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted January 19, 2021 06:01 AM
Yeah, it could be history repeating itself and the adult mimicking early relationships with unavailable adults. The psychological benefits of this are familiarity (which studies have shown increases liking, irrespective of compatibility) and the continued avoidance of intimacy, which feels constricting in its unfamiliarity.However, some people make a conscious choice to be with someone who is partnered or married (and therefore technically 'unavailable') because they want a casual relationship, and they get that assurance from the fact that the person will likely never get too close to them due to their relationship obligations with the primary partner.
------------------
Face a situation fearlessly, and there is no situation to face
~ Florence Scovel Shinn ~ IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 138138
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 25, 2021 04:31 PM
it's human nature to desire what one can't have.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 138138
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 11, 2021 04:47 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
MoonMystic
Knowflake Posts: 4163
From:
Registered: Nov 2016
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posted February 11, 2021 08:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
it's human nature to desire what one can't have.
True story. That's why I decline the cheesecake that calls for me.  IP: Logged |
FireAndEarth
Knowflake Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Oct 2019
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posted February 13, 2021 08:05 AM
In some instances I think a person in a stable long term relationship can give off vibes of security, confidence, and calmness that you don't get around single people. They are just pleasant to be around and sometimes light flirting on the taken person's side is just a bit of fun. Of course there's many scenarios and reasons a person might want an unavailable person and many reasons why a person is unavailable. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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