posted August 03, 2022 10:43 AM            

First of all, I hate myself more than I could ever hate anyone else. I hate that I can never have anything I want in life. I hate that I'm never good enough for women. And despite what folks like Sleepy Diary say, I don't have any opportunities to connect with them at all. They just ignore me or keep me at arm's length.

I'm never good enough. That's the fact of the matter. Nobody who knows me could honestly say I haven't really tried because I have worked incredibly hard to have better relationships with women. I have invested a considerable amount of time and money into that endeavor. I have taken dance classes. I have gone to multiple counselors and therapists. I have invested in dating coaches. I have tried socializing with different kinds of people in different contexts to expand my network. These are just a few of the things I have done. I have worked hard for over a decade to get this area of my life right.

And the fact that I have been such an abject failure at relationships hurts my soul. I'm a Taurus Moon and have Venus dominant in my chart (conjunct the ascendant and aspecting multiple planets). The quality of my relationships affects how happy I am about my life and I've always been a very unhappy person because I've always been treated very poorly. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't get any love at all since mom died. My life is very very lonely.

So keep all that in mind when you judge me and condescend to me with a harsh tone. When you casually label me a misogynist, keep in mind that I'm hurting to the point of being suicidal because I want so badly for one woman somewhere to actually love me and appreciate me. I have never once in my life felt loved or supported and I'm to the point of emotional exhaustion.