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Author Topic:   Over-idealization in love: Asteroids DON QUIXOTE & DULCINEA
Alvarella777
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posted February 12, 2010 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alvarella777     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just lately, I found that ASTEROID-Talk quite entertaining and enlightening, like in DD's Vesta-thread and someone else's Medea-thread.

I got curious about another odd asteroid's "couple": DON QUIXOTE (3552) and DULCINEA (571). (Maybe someone else has mentioned these before in this forum.) They're both charactres from the novel DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA from the Spanish novelist Miguel de Cervatnes Saavedra (17th century). Their story in short: DON QUIXOTE is a dreamer who wishes for fame and honour in his life - in fact, he's kind of a humble loser (but a nice one, a bit on the crazy side). He loves/over-idealizes a girl called DULCINEA - although he hardly knows her and despite the fact that she is really dull, ugly and she deosn't even notice him. But in his... fantasy she is a Goddess and worth while passing several adventures ...

So, Don Quixote & Dulcinea tell about fantasizing in love, oversized rose coloured glasses, over-estimating someone, over-idealization, not seeing someone for what he/she really is.

In reality, probably most of us have exeprienced both sides already: Being a DON QUIXOTE (dreaming about a certain person to be the "perfect lover", although this is pure nonsense and despite the fact that there'll be no chance of ever getting together with that person.) Or being a DULCINEA - being over-estimated, over-idealized, misunderstood, being put on a pedestal by someone else (which is not justified, without having "earned" it.)

Where's your DON QUIXOTE & DULCINEA?

My DON QUIXOTE (Leo, in 8th house)
cj. Mercury (4 dg)
sextile Sun/Moon (ex.)
sextile Uranus (3 dg)
sextile Karma (1 dg.)
sextile Ophelia (ex.)
trine Chiron (2 dg.)
trine Urania (1 dg.)
trine Phoinix (3 dg.)
oppos. Lust (ex.)
oppos. Catastrophe (ex.)

Well ... these trines to Urania ("Ah - got it!") and Phoinix ("Let's skip that and start all over again, somewhere else...") in my 1st house soothe my nerves! Obviously (hopefully!) I've got the potential to see through my own illusions sooner or later - and drop a hopeless dream and start anew ...

My DULCINEA (in Leo, in 9th house)
cj. my BM Lilith (2 dg.)
cj. my Hybris (3 dg.)
cj. my Cheshirecat (ex.)
sextile my own Name (1 dg)
sextile my Jupiter (4 dg.)
trine my Moon (1 dg.)
trine my Chaos (ex.)
square my Saturn (2 dg.)
square my Leviathan (ex.)
square my Anteros (4 dg.)
square my Sirene (4 dg.)
opp. my Damocles (2 dg.)

Hmmmm ... gives me a sense for the following keywords: It's the "wrong type of guys" who fall for me - my "allure" is rather dark/mysterious, oozing the aura of an "independent/tough" woman - maybe ... "unapproachable" in a very basic way? There's some scary feel attached to these Dulcinea-placements - would you agree?

How about yours?

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iQ
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posted February 12, 2010 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for iQ     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting pair...

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Lara
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posted February 12, 2010 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
don quixote
cj my briede 2
cj my fortuna 1
sextile my sun 2
trine my juno/karma 1


dulcinea
opp my frigga 2
briede 4
trine my kaali 1

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DD
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posted February 12, 2010 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*sighs*

My Don Quixote.

Or is he, in fact, my Dulcinea?

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DD
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posted February 12, 2010 04:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"So, Don Quixote & Dulcinea tell about fantasizing in love, oversized rose coloured glasses, over-estimating someone, over-idealization, not seeing someone for what he/she really is"

Or maybe it also indicates seeing past appearances and facades, finding the gem that is within each person?


There was a very enlightening moment in the musical. Aldonza / Dulcinea always rejected Don Quixote`s dreams. Well, as a matter of fact she once was inclined to participate in his dreams of nobility and generosity, which didn`t become her well. She was being raped by a group of men, just for being nice to them. then of course she shut down completely and rejected Don Quixote and his crazy dream of an ideal world, where the knightly ideals are still intact, even more - an impossible dream so to speak, not able to live in the real world.

But then when Don Quixote dies - actually the reason for his death is him being faced with himself in many mirrors; mirrors that of course are being held by society, and seeing himself with societie`s eyes, he breaks down, forgets about his dream, rejects it himself, as madness, and slowly dies (because it was his dream that was what gave him his spark of life); he doesn`t even recognize Dulcinea / Aldonza when she comes to see him. He treats her as a complete stranger. But then slowly, he is beginning to remember who she is, and more importantly, who he is. He starts remembering, but it is too late for him, while singing "his song", he dies.
When his voice trails off (because he is dead), Aldonza / Dulcinea takes over and continues the singing to the end. She is the one who will carry his dream into the world now.


To me, beside all overidealization, this - at least how the musical tells it- is a very spiritual story.
Very Neptunian. Full of dreams and illusions, but also full of dreams and spirituality, full of naivitee, but also full of compassionate love.


My mum gave me the book when I was 9 years old; since then this has become MY story somehow. Fitting for someone with Neptune on ASC, I guess.

I guess I am more like Don Quixote than like Dulcinea / Aldonza.
Didn´t Linda Goodman mentioned that Sagittarians something are a bit like Don Quixote?


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Alvarella777
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posted February 12, 2010 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alvarella777     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
DD: That's a brilliant "short version" and quite a specific interpretation of Don Quixote's story. (I didn't know about that musical. I only read the original novel.) I guess you're absolutely right with pointing out the strong NEPTUNIAN traits of this couple. I just tried to shead a light on the very basic core of that story ... (my English is not as good as yours).

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raspberri
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posted February 12, 2010 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for raspberri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have dulcinea at 19 gemini

my mercury 19 gemini
my venus 14 gemini(first house ruler)

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DD
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posted February 12, 2010 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Alvarella.
And I think your English is great.


The story is very personal to me, for various reasons. It`s strange that you would remind me of that evening of so long ago just today. From all days it had to be today.


Well, I was just pointing out the rather positive sides of Don Quixote, but actually he is pretty selfish, too, in his dreams. He just doesn´t want to really listen to Aldonza. He has his picture of her, and that`s it Very Neptunian again.

To me, she is the true heroine of the play. She sees the reality, sees how the world really is, and DESPITE that she decides that the dream is worth fighting for. She can foresee the consequences, and she is going there nevertheless. She knows the dream is impossible, and she is dreaming it nevertheless. Maybe she feels that it`s the path, the way that matters, even though she may never reach that star.


THAT is true courage to me. To sense the consequences and decide that something is worth fighting for, nevertheless.
She is the real knight in this play.

Just my opinion of course.


Oh my Don Quixote is on 23 Capricorn in 2nd house:
opposing Destinn exactly
opposing Eros
conjunct Arthur
widely conjunct Sun-Moon-mp (2)
conjunct Antivertex

Dulcinea is on 3 Scorpio in 11th house
conjunct Uranus
sextile Boda, Tristan and Knight and Stonehenge and Vesta (of course )

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Lara
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posted February 12, 2010 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
WOW DD

Your don quixote is opposing my valentine (1)
and your dulcinea is cj my juno (2)

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Alvarella777
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posted February 12, 2010 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alvarella777     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
From me too: "WOW, DD!"

Your Don Qu. at 23° Capricorn? Excatly oppose my Sun at 23° Cancer! That would also mean, that my Sun is cj. your Vertex, Eros and Destinn. Are you a handsome looking male in his late thirties/early fourties, intelligent and versatile, but also with some healthy developed hedonistic traits? Then marry me! (Of course: I know that you're a girl....)

***edit: Okay, we don't know each other - but if you say that this Don Quixote story is important for you, personally ... maybe my "Sun" is doing some trick to your Vertex in this moment? Of course: I don't do it deliberately! I am just a tool of fate ...***

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Belage
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posted February 12, 2010 11:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fascinating subject!!

I looked up my placements, and I have Don Quixote and Dulcinea conjunct (5 degree orb)! And this conjunction is on my descendant!!!

I understand that I tend to idealize my love partner, but what does it means when these two asteroids are conjunct?

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iQ
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posted February 13, 2010 02:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for iQ     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think when conjunct, the chances of finding the hidden gems within yourself increases, irrespective of the outer facades.

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DD
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posted February 13, 2010 04:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Alvarella,


"Are you a handsome looking male"
Neither handsome nor male.

" in his late thirties/early fourties,"
Mid-thirties.

" intelligent and versatile"
Well, I leave the judgemenat to you.


", but also with some healthy developed hedonistic traits?"
Even unhealthy hedonistic traits. Does Astrology count as hedonistic, too?

"maybe my "Sun" is doing some trick to your Vertex in this moment?"
Funny enough, my middle brother has his Sun on 23 Capricorn. lol
He has the Down syndrome, and through him in my life, I - and all my family - had no other choice but to learn looking BEHIND the facades and finding the gem within!

And wasn`t the eclipse around these degrees, too?
Seems it brought Don Quixote back into my life. And as a matter of fact, I just was to a concert with someone, whom I have seen - first time in this life- many years ago,w hile he was playing Don Quixote in the musical.
Back then Transit Neptune and I think Uranus, too, was opposing my Saturn - it was not the most easiest of times.


"I am just a tool of fate ...***"
That was what I thought.

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Belage
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posted February 13, 2010 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I think when conjunct, the chances of finding the hidden gems within yourself increases, irrespective of the outer facades.

Cool. Thanks IQ!!! I think I need to read that book again.

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Ami Anne
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posted June 13, 2011 04:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
asteroid forum

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hypatia238
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posted November 17, 2015 04:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OMG of course I do!

Don Quixote conjuncts exact my moon and squares my Dulcinea which conjuncts by 1d my AC! Oh universe you!

And all this time I was blaming Neptune since I have moon in Pisces square Neptune Lol.

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hypatia238
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posted November 17, 2015 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So hubby's Dulcinea sextiles my Don Quixote Lol of course and we both have Dulcinea on our AC. His Don Quixote conjuncts my Lilith asteroid and his true Lilith conjuncts his Juno so Lilith is his type..

My ex lover's Don Quixote conjuncts my Eros and Angel..we have Don Quixote inconjunct exact Dulcinea in midpoint and an exact semisextile in Davison. He has the in conjunction natally and I have the square.

Nothing much going on with my ex with these..

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Aubyanne
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posted November 17, 2015 03:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ooooooh. We have DONQ conjunct FORTUNA (0º) conjunct our MC -- of course, with MADHATTER.

This is pretty damned fascinating.

Our pROSING is now conjunct our pASC, 1º -- making a 1º trine.

The reason this has got me all, 'oooooh!' is because the show that my development partner has in development is a modern take on Don Quixote. And, that's pretty amazing. Not to mention his natal DONQ is exactly conjunct Jack's and my composite MC. Wow.

Interestingly, he's got pDULCINEA 1º conjunct his pMC. Hmmmm. What's a Don without a Dulcinea, right? And, knowing his story ... ooooh. I've got some ideas ....

Plus ... check THIS out ....

Our composite FORTUNA is exactly on my NNODE, which is 1º conjunct my dev-partner / future showrunner's pDSC. Hmmm!

It was always a given, considering how much we helped each other with project development, that I'd likely be a staff writer on his show. It looks like Jack would be as well -- or perhaps even performing. Guess it's a good thing, in either case, that he's starting to really get out there, and I've been teaching him how to write TV.

While I'm just using these as name asteroids right now, that works, too.

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Orange
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posted November 17, 2015 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Orange     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
lol...I always loved the story of Don Quixote and Dulcinea. I named one of my puppies Dulcinea too ( Dulce, for shorter).

anywho...we have the conjunction in our synastry with my guy. My Dulcinea and his Don Quixote. In my 1st and his 7th house. We def over idealize our relationship, but it's okay.
The asteroids are not strong in ourt natals, the pair is activated only when our charts come together.

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Sunnya
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posted November 18, 2015 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sunnya     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting pair.

His Don Quixote conjuncts my Sun, Mars, POF and sextiles exact my Juno. His Dulcinea trines my Don Quixote.

Nice and I thought I was the one idealizing him lol.


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Aubyanne
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posted November 18, 2015 02:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What's interesting is how I feel the original meaning of these two have been lost. Given Cervantes' actual text (in Spanish), he's the embodiment of idealism. In our modern world, especially, these concepts are likely more relevant now than ever -- with the Internet, and the way it's ramped up our potential for any Aldonza to become a Dulcinea.

There's definitely a sweeter side (tin inpunded) to all of this, though. Through Quixote's unfailing belief in Aldonza, the way his 'courtly love' has elevated her beyond her own perception of herself as a mere peasant, hardly beautiful nor noble -- is what's truly remarkable. In the English adaptations on stage (and screen) she is the one who 'becomes' Dulcinea, due to Quixote's idealised 'love' for her.

To that end, it's hardly unrequited, as it is a curious engagement -- the man who tilts at windmills, because he sees giants, and envisions himself a knight errant.

But I'm reminded of Apple's famous 'Think Different' campaign from 1997. (It's been misattributed to Jobs over the years, with its origins stemming from the art director at the advertising agency representing Apple, Craig Tanimoto.) You'd remember it:

'Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.'

There's a bit of that in Quixote -- or a whole lot of it. Perhaps, there's really nothing all that truly remarkable about Quixote at heart, and he must make himself into something instead -- a knight errant, who dedicates his quest to his beloved whom he must love from afar, because ... that's what's in the script. Really. He's kind of playing off of this fantasy in his head because reality is just not that interesting. And, if I recall, it remains a bit of a mystery as to why. Is he just bored? Is he running from some deep trauma?

I'm a fan of the Quixote archetype, because he's got a wonderfully modern spin as none other than The Doctor. Writers have filled in over time various details, and given Dulcinea a bit of polish, regardless of from which port of call (or, really, planet, dimension, or time) she hails. He's bored, and he's running, and he's doing it all for some bigger thing -- some ideal to which he's ultimately related.

Or, to keep it human, Sorkin alternately used Arthurian legend with some of Cervantes thrown in to his Newsroom mythos -- namely in the form of his hero, Will McAvoy. His 'estranged' and complicated (former) beloved, now his producer for the news hour he anchors -- his obvious Dulcinea -- the secret cause of his quest, even if he loses heart and faith in it many, many times, leaving her to take up the lance and tilt at a few herself. It's a great show.

So these characters have been appearing and reappearing everywhere. Hell, we could even say that there's a bit of Quixote in Erik. He knows he's 'a hideous monster which society has rejected', but he fancies himself a Don Juan capable of true triumph, and winning the hand of his Dulcinea, the 'cause of his quest', in the form of Christine Daae, the chorus-girl turned opera star, thanks to his tutelage. She saw herself as nothing more than a ballerina before his belief -- 'the power of his music' -- inspired her to envision herself a gifted soprano which the world would adore.

Look hard enough, and we'll find traces of them in our most time-honoured characters -- sometimes more obvious, often, subtly so.

What does it mean astrologically? Any of the above, I think. Could this, maybe with a strong NEPTUNE affliction, lead one to idealise reality beyond its capabilities? Imagining a perfect world that cannot exist? Quite possibly.

More realistically, however, DONQ might denote individuals that have a powerful need to expect more of their reality, themselves, and others. Some even need it. Many an Aldonza couldn't fathom fashioning themselves a Dulcinea, were it not for the unwavering faith of a Quixote.

The danger, of course, is when we place another upon a pedestal, wasting our time in devotion to an ideal that will never be realised. 'He'll move,' we say, or leave his wife, or change his ways and want to settle down, or, ultimately, 'choose me'. To this end, we may be tilting at windmills to the point where we're the ones we're wounding most.

But there's also a powerful relationship between the reality one seeks to manifest, and the one that one lives. Those crazy enough. Yes, we tend to be the ones to go on to do that which others couldn't imagine -- by being crazy enough. By being a knight errant and hero in our own minds, fighting windmills for giants, devoted to brawny peasants who can't see themselves for the noblewomen they are.

What is reality, anyway? Cervantes asks us. Are we crazy by demanding greater, or are we thereby creating a reality that is greater, by living it as if it were so?

My cat often fancies himself something of an Indiana Jones. The floor is frequently covered in lava, and he must jump from chair to chair across it in order to survive. He also battles the Wind Monster (fan), Ice Monster (air-conditioning unit) and Fire Demon (furnace) with regularity.

I know that he's just intensifying and glorifying his life as an 'otherwise ordinary house cat' (well, Bengal-mix) but it's these behaviours that have endeared him to so many. He's not batting around a sock; it's a mouse he's just gotten, and is now bringing me the 'fruits of his labours'. I pet him warmly and say 'that's a BIG one, Chesh,' and he purrs with satisfaction.

We both know it's a sock.

The danger lies in not being able to tell the difference.

I think my worst failed relationship -- that with my ex-producing partner -- probably had more than a bit of this going on. We believed in ideals too great, which neither of us were able to fully realise. He needed a job -- he couldn't move to Los Angeles and commit to being a TV lead. And so, I, the brave knight errant, knowing this was my time for greatness, carried on; my former 'Dulcinea' nurturing a powerful hatred for my demanding that he believe in himself as much as I did.

After all, it was Aldonza that remade herself as Dulcinea -- she was merely inspired by Quixote to do so.

So, these are my thoughts.

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Ceridwen
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posted November 18, 2015 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I absolutely share your thoughts, Auby!

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Ceridwen
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posted November 18, 2015 03:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So I have been looking it up with Mr Sag and Lancelot.

I find my Don Quixote intriguing in that he is not only opposing my Destinn-Eros-VErtex, but also conjunct my Arthur-Gawain-conjunction on my Sun-Moon-mp exact.


Anyway with Mr Sag
--------------------

his DON QUIXOTE trine my Sun exact
his DON QUIXOTE on antiscion of my DULCINEA (0°34)

his DULCINEA conjunct my SPIRIT 0°13
his DULCINEA conjunct my GUINEVERE 0°09

his DULCINEA conj. his own ARTHUR (1°14)
- MERLIN (0°50)


I find this one interesting, as natally I have the link between Don Quixote and Artus

oh and btw

his DON QUIXOTE trine my GINEVRA 0°50, and his own GINEVRA (0°43)
plus trine my MERLIN (1°05)

my DON QUIXOTE conjunct his Venus (2°13)
and square his LANCELOT (0°36)

composite:

DON QUIXOTE conjunct Uranus, chartruler (2°41)

DULCINEA conjunct mean LILITH (0°50)
(right on my natal ASC.)

Dulcinea pretty near to Guinevere (3°10)
Don Quixote nearish toLancelot (4°47 - not in orb for a conjunction, but still nearish )


With Lancelot
-----------------

his DON QUIXOTE square my DULCINEA 0°11

his DULCINEA
conjunct my ASC (1°27
conjunct my NN (1°42)
conjunct my Neptune (1°12)


Now that was surprising. lol

composite:

Don Quixote conjunct NN (0°04)
Sabian: 28-29 Libra
Mankind's Vast And Enduring Effort To Reach For Knowledge Transferable From Generation To Generation

Don Quixote opposite Chiron (0°24)


DULCINEA conjunct true PRIAPUS (0°33)
Sabian: 21 Scorpio (my 12th house cusp )

Hunters Shooting Wild Ducks


Dulcinea opposite Jupiter (0°41)
Dulcinea square Sun (1°30)

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Sunnya
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posted November 18, 2015 05:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sunnya     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nicely put Aubyanne, I agree with you.

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socialgraffiti
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posted November 21, 2015 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for socialgraffiti     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In my natal:
Dulcinea conjunct Sun exact

Don Quixote trine Venus exact

Interesting.

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