posted December 17, 2013 02:41 PM            

I was doing some investigating and found Kaali conjunct sun exact in the composite I've had with someone. Also Pluto conjunct Union exact... I could talk forever about my own theories on this lol but just curious to know if anyone else has experience or thoughts on Kaali in the composite?

posted December 18, 2013 01:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ail221:
One of the most terrifying aspects of Prakriti are violent emotional expressions. Tantra's basic basic philosophy is based on a dualism, and the terrifying image projects the negative aspect of the creative life-force. In the creative aspect, Sakti appears as an enchantress. In her negative aspect she is demystified and transformed. The image has a naked intensity, so fierce that the incommunicable ceases to be a mystery. Kali, one of the most important tantric Dasamahavidyas, in her negative aspect appears as a conglomeration of terrifying elements.

Kali is the symbol of the active cosmic power of eternal time (Kala) and in this aspect she signifies annihilation: through death or destruction creation, the seed of life, emerges. Just as the destruction of the seed leads to the birth of the tree, so disintegration is a normal and necessary step of nature moving towards further progress or unfolding. Kali is the embodiment of creation, preservation, and annihilation.

She inspires awe and love at the same time. As a disintegrating tendency, Kali is represented in black, so all names and forms disappear into her' (Mahanirvana Tantra) The density of blackness is also identified with the massive, compact, unmixed, Pure Consciousness. In Tantric hymns to the goddess Kali, she is described as 'digambari' garbed in space - in her nakedness, she is free from all covering of illusion.

The image of a wrathful appearance can agitate the eye and transport the spectator to a supernatural world. From an aesthetic point of view they suggest a flight from reality and an awareness of a profoundly different world: the poignant, restless and aggressive. These images unveil reality so that it is stripped bare, and have the same mind-altering capability to induce extra-ordinary experience which arouses intense inward states of rich spiritual content. Their most characteristic feature is that of images which seem to have sprung from anon-rational source but nevertheless have a rational basis within defined limits.

The terrifying aspects of these images are completely dispelled in the tantric asana forms in both sculpture and painting. In art we are confronted with an ecstasy of joy in all its plastic possibilities. These united male and female figures are drawn together in creative force towards the awakening of the inner spirit, new dynamic asana-forms. Filled with ecstatic conviction, they are no longer torn between the contradiction of life and social existence.

The interlocking figures represent the antinomic principles; they are symbols of transcendent union, which do not in any way convey the gross sexual intercourse depicted, which illustrates an earth-bound level of existence.

Terrifying images arouse 'tamasisk' the quality allied to the emotion of fury and awesomeness, diametrically opposed to these are silence and compassion, associated with sattiva, the quality of purity."

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That basically sums it up lol. It was beyond anything I can explain spiritually, but yeah also terrifying to have that deep of a connection with someone... And true about being open to other astral energies while together. Weird stuff would happen with electronics, like the tv would turn off for no reason, or after hanging out with him I wouldn’t be able to use my phone without it cutting into another line. And we could always “sense” each other, like he would turn around in the hall at school way before he would’ve been able to hear me, or I’d be sleeping and my phone would be on silent but I would wake up when he texted me. Not to mention knowing each others moods/thoughts..

Anyway this also explains a lot about why it's been so difficult to let go of.. It's been almost a year since I've seen him but it still hasn't been easy. Since I have kaali conjunct moon, he “awakened” that side of me that I’ve always known is so important but didn’t really trust myself to explore. And also literally feel like I can’t explore on the same level as I could with him.. But I can’t keep carrying around this energy and need to find a way to break whatever tie there still is

posted December 18, 2013 11:07 AM            

That relationship sounds fascinating...have you ever posted the synastry and composite? Is it really over?

I've mentioned my "ex-soulmate" here at LL about a million times. When he and I were together it would also affect the electricity and....

OK I have never said this to anyone before but I think you might actually believe me! ...no worries if you don't....

For a while, whenever we got together in this park between our houses, there would be lightning overhead. It would be fine weather, then we'd meet up and suddenly lightning would be flashing. It happened so predictably I couldn't help thinking it had something to do with us...were our hearts "rain dancing" or something?

In composite we had Kaali conjunct Mercury, conjunct my natal Venus. This was sextile composite Siva, conjunct my natal Mercury.

I have Kaali at 22.39 Scorpio and 20.00 Scorpio NN.

posted December 18, 2013 08:16 PM            

But yeah this is the Cancer guy I've mentioned way too many times here who I have multiple t squares in the composite with (actually a grand cross if you include Chiron, although that's probably not helpful in any way lol) I've gotten some really great feedback from people here, so I don't mean to keep bringing him up, I just hadn't noticed the Kaali conjunct sun...

I have regrets looking back because when it came down to it I sort of sabotaged things out of fear and immaturity (although he was far from straight forward either), and now he's with someone else... So idk if things are over forever but that's the way I have to view it. I get the feeling that once I really, truly move on he'll come back and want to try again or something since that's the way things seem to work lol but who knows.. Anyway, I'll post the composite. I should mention his birth time might be off by give or take half an hour..

posted December 19, 2013 08:53 AM            

And that damn Saturn! IQ says that sun square Saturn in composite is unworkable...I don't know, but the two most intense relationships I was in before marriage had Saturn at the apex of overlapping t-squares, just as you had. I don't know if they were doomed but they sure were addictive, deep, sometimes beautiful relationships.

Sorry for going off topic but here's the composite I mentioned. I don't have his birth time so the houses and moon are a total guess, but the t-squares would be there regardless:

I wonder if your progressed composite with Mr. Cancer disassembled your composite t-squares? Like, with the Virgo above, when we were together, in the progressed composite Saturn was trine the sun, not square. Misleading, eh?

posted December 20, 2013 08:04 PM            

With the Cancer nothing major was going on with Saturn in our pr composite, but I have noticed Saturn transits have been really important. I should’ve posted the synastry too, but he has a natal t square of Sun-Jupiter opposite Saturn and square Moon. My Sun is exactly conjunct his Saturn and opposite his Sun-Jupiter. And then my Sun is conjunct Saturn too but by 5 degrees. So it’s in our composite but we also both have it natally and I’m not sure if that makes it easier or worse lol

I looked back at when we first got together years ago, and t. Saturn in Virgo was trine my Sun-Saturn and sextile his Sun.. After that things sort of cooled off for a while until t. Saturn in Libra started squaring both of our Sun-Saturn and was conjunct composite Sun. For a little over a year or so that’s when things were most intense and the interest was mutual..

What’s interesting is in the progressed composite, Sun and Mercury in Scorpio have been catching up to Pluto, and during that time pr composite Mercury was exactly conjunct Pluto. pr Composite Moon crossed over that as well

But, ever since t. Saturn entered Scorpio and started squaring my natal Venus conjunct his natal NN, things have gone downhill. t. Saturn is still squaring all our fixed planets in the composite too.. Also, at the same time our pr composite Moon moved into Sag and was conjunct my natal Vertex-Moon. So it was definitely a lot harder for me to let it go than for him.

Right now the pr composite Moon is unaspected in 3rd house (makes complete sense lol). But in a few years pr composite Sun will conjuct Pluto, and pr comosite Moon will conjuct Uranus in 4th house. Sooo I sort of have this feeling that even though it’s important for us to be apart right now and live our own lives, this whole not keeping in touch thing is temporary and things will change again like they always have... But I also don’t want to be delusional about it lol so I’m not getting my hopes up

But all I know is I still think about him and even now weird things happen.. We always talked about helping each other out in our careers (even if we knew a lot of it was just dreaming, it was still fun to think about and seemed more possible as a team somehow). He would talk a lot about very specific ideas he has for various inventions- alternative energy and that sort of thing. Anyway, now I have a roommate I didn't know before moving in who is weirdly interested in almost the exact same things, and has some legit connections. So it’s like the universe is mocking me lol cause just a year ago I would’ve been able to actually help him out. Like in a possibly major way too. But that’s just the way things go I guess. It's unfortunate that we can’t even seem to be friends, but we’re not even really on speaking terms right now (and I’ve tried..)

posted December 21, 2013 11:35 PM            

Thanks especially for tracking Saturn through the pr composite charts, I've been really curious about how that works. I agree that unaspected moon in the 3H makes sense for you two for now. It is funny how fitting that is, though not really funny if you're sore about missing him. (Hmm, I wonder if there's like a magical "heart repairing" aspect or transit that can happen...um, Lucifer on pr composite Venus? Might cure things? Silly thought, but it'd be nice.)

I totally know what you're talking about how the relationship dynamics still seem to be at work even if he's not there...with your roommate seeming to materialize wishes you had with him. I've experienced similar things and loved feeling like I was caught up in something of like mythic proportion. That was really how it felt.

Here's an example: the ex featured in the composite above interestingly did a complete career turnaround after I got together with my husband, and now does what my husband has been doing most of his life. If my ex googled my husband's name back then, he would have seen articles my husband published about his work...I have to wonder if that affected my ex's career choice?

Probably not but weird coincidence.