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Author
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Topic: Help! My suitemate's a vampire!!!
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alchemiest
Knowflake Posts: 119
From: baltimore, MD USA
Registered: Sep 2003
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posted November 16, 2003 05:10 PM
 
I don't know if this is the correct place to post this, but I need serious healing and light energy!!! I live on campus in a suite with three other girls, all of them friends I have had since freshman year (fall '01). There are two sections to the suite each containing two bedrooms. The sections are divided by a bathroom. (There's no point to the description, really, but I just wanted to give you an idea of what it looks like).
I live on one side of the bathroom with another girl. Let's call her C. She is a friend, yes, but she is also the most negative person I have ever met. Her bedroom is right next to mine, and I literally feel like her negativity is seeping into my bedroom. I am usually a very optimistic, cheerful person, but this year, I feel like I am just dragging myself along, which is weird as it isn;t like I have a particularly difficult workload or anything. I hate coming back to my room because I feel so much negativity in it.
I don;t know what to do, because she is not an easy person to talk to, and I can;t change my room (I am the RA of the floor). I really don;t know what to do. Her own room is the most personality-less room imaginable! I start feeling depressed the minute I walk into it, and now I feel the same way about being in my OWN room! Being around her leaves me feeling drained. And I LIVE with her!!! It's really getting to me. I seem to be the only person affected this way, so I don;t know, maybe it's me. I really don;t know what to do! This evening, I put a protective wall around my room, and I can feel the difference. I also try to put protection around myself as much as possible, but with exams and the end of the semester coming around, I feel like my defenses are going to be weakened and her negativity is only going to increase (god, I sound like I am planning for a war or something!) You know emotional vampires? I seriously wonder if she is one of those, because the more miserable I am, the happier she seems to be.
Help!!!!!!IP: Logged |
hooked
Knowflake Posts: 118
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted November 17, 2003 03:52 PM
Hi alchemiest,The more you fixate on this person, the more every little thing about her will bug the heck out of you. I've had a similar situation, and I also literally tacked a bedsheet onto the wall that separated my room from hers. From my experience, I can tell you that fixating on this person is just not worth it in the end. Keep yourself busy with things you love and people that make you feel happy. Remember, this situation is temporary, and you won't have to live with her much longer. Seriously, don't let your mind wander around those negative thoughts. Try some exercise to release the things you pick up during the day or a hot shower. Who knows what is going on in her life right now. Just take care of yourself  IP: Logged |
JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 261
From:
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted November 18, 2003 10:48 PM
Although I am not a Wiccan/Pagan, I do, however believe in cleansings...and I highly recommend that you do a cleansing of your side of the suite. Especially when she is not there. If you are not sure how to do it, I'm sure someone here knows...I know that WychofAvalon knows how. Then, I would do some grounding techniques, because you are obviously an empath to her, and it is literally sucking you dry like a vampire. It is SO difficult to go through life with emotional vampires, I've had my fair share of them and it's horrible. My friend Kevin, is a Wiccan, and he is always recommending for me to burn a blue candle for peaceful vibes...I suggest you stock up on a few, and burn them daily. It sure couldn't help! Good luck! IP: Logged |
hooked
Knowflake Posts: 118
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted November 18, 2003 11:16 PM
JustAmanda,Here's naive question or two for you: Do you mean it literally? Do they call themselves emotional vampires? Or is the cleansing you described applied to negative environments in general? IP: Logged |
alchemiest
Knowflake Posts: 119
From: baltimore, MD USA
Registered: Sep 2003
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posted November 20, 2003 01:56 PM
thanks for the input guys
I can't burn candles in the room- dorm policy. But I can definitely do cleansings. It's been getting a bit better since I started putting protection around my walls. I'm starting to like my room again!!!
I used the term 'vampire' because it really felt like she was sucking me dry emotionally. I am not sure if she really IS an emotional vampire though, or if it's just me who gets affected this way. IP: Logged |
JustAmanda
Knowflake Posts: 261
From:
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted November 21, 2003 08:22 PM
Hi Hooked! Although I personally do not believe in blood sucking vampires or such, I do believe in emotional vampires...now, a vampire will suck your blood (as you know)...an emotional "vampire" just seems to "suck" every bit of positiveness and happiness out of your body until there is nothing left but disharmony. These people are real, most of them, have no idea they are actually like that...they are like parasites looking for a host, and when they find a host they just start feasting on all your good qualities and more or less use you to their benefit. Cleansings can be used for any negative situation in your life, or surroundings. Some people (like myself) use devout prayer as a cleansing. Others use Holy Water, or burn candles of specific colors which represent different elements of the earth or Gods/Goddesses...and some use crystals and/or stones to do so...there are many different avenues for cleansings, it's whatever you feel the most comfortable with...I'm comfortable with prayer...I do like candles as well...but my faith lies FIRST in the power of prayer...the other things are just tools for me...but the power is in the prayer. I hope that helps a bit!
And Al...glad to hear things are going better!
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grayheart
Knowflake Posts: 188
From: Land O Love
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted November 25, 2003 12:38 PM
alchemiest, try this, it worked great for me when I used to work with someone like that. When ever you are getting ready to go where you would feel the effects, just take a minute to visualize your own aura, and imagine that you aura is condensing itself into a suit of armor. visualize your auric suit of armor as being very strong and able to withstand the most powerful attacks. What this will do is basically set you mental defenses up so that you will subconsiously defend against these types of psychihc attacks, you should find that you feel the effects of her negative vibe much less, and if you re-vizualize your "armor", every so often, you should protect yourself from a lot of her negetive energy. In fact, in my case, I found that once I protected myself, the effects stretched out over time and in time, this person actually became more positive, although I think other things had happened as well to bring about such a radical change, I know that if you can prevent your own energy from being drained, then your positive energy can begin to cancel the negative, because positive energy is alway stronger.IP: Logged |
hooked
Knowflake Posts: 118
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted November 26, 2003 11:09 PM
Hi JustAmanda,Thanks for the reply. What a horrible thought..a person having the ability to drain the life out of another. Yikes.. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted November 27, 2003 09:16 AM
What Grayheart said.  ------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Eleanore
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: North Carolina
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 10, 2004 01:15 PM
I guess I'm a little late on this one, but I suggest you read Dion Fortune's Psychic Self Defense. Don't be fooled by the title and think it's some extreme guidebook on techniques or anything. It's actually very informative and will give you fairly simple advice to follow on this subject.
I hope your situation gets better IP: Logged |
alchemiest
Knowflake Posts: 119
From: baltimore, MD USA
Registered: Sep 2003
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posted January 11, 2004 03:59 AM
Hey Elanore-
what a coinkydink! I actually have that book!!! I just found it again after a very very long time!
Situation is much better. I'm on break so I'm away from it all. Let's see what haooens next semester.....
I'm hoping for the best IP: Logged |
alchemiest
Knowflake Posts: 119
From: baltimore, MD USA
Registered: Sep 2003
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posted February 03, 2004 06:36 PM
Just wanted to say guys, your advice has been awesome! Greyheart, I tried the aura-armour thing, it works like a charm You know what? I realized that part of the reason why I was so affected by this person's negativity was because I felt obliged to be there for her because we were friends and well, I always thought friends had to be there for each other. I have since come to the realization that I am the only one in our little group of four who thinks so. At least, the others don't think they have to be there for me. Yes, I still live with them, but now I have detached myself from them. Maybe they feel it, I don't know, but they have been becoming a lot colder as well- a good thing, I guess! Quite sad though, since I have been friends with them since freshman year, but there you have it.
It sucks that I always have to learn the hard way. I was abroad during christmas, and since these were people who I considered to be close friends, of course, I bought them presents while I was on holiday. Nothing big, mind, but things that I put a lot of time and love into choosing out, not to mention carrying back over a thousand or so miles of ocean for them. We had decided to have a little get together for a post-christmas thing and exchange presents when I got back, and we had this today. What hurt me a lot was, they all got really awesome presents for one another but crap for me, and treated what I had got them like dirt. I mean, I don't want to sound whiney and materialistic, because I'm not, but it just hurt immensely to see that they didn't really care at all. So much for friends. IP: Logged |
Eleanore
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: North Carolina
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted February 04, 2004 12:19 PM
I'm sorry your friends were not real friends. And I understand about the gift thing ... it's not what is given, but the thought behind it that matters ... when there's no thought behind it, well, then why bother to give it? Perhaps you should view this as an evolution of sorts, albeit a painful one. Sometimes we just outgrow people as we grow out of the ways we used to be. I can't say I know you or your friends, but if they were (or at least one of them was) as negative as I gathered from your previous posts on this thread, then maybe it's a step in the right direction for you to distance yourself from them. Perhaps you will also make some new friends that will be more of what you need in your life and less of what you don't.
Sending lots of love and light your way!  IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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