posted November 26, 2003 02:58 PM         

I work with a lady that was once my emotional vampire. I have since cut those ties with her, and freed myself from it, but this is what happened.

Jean started working here after me, and we became friends not long after. I am a very giving person, I'm open and free spirited, which can be a downside when you are not prepared to deal with people like this in your life...she appeared to be similar to me in her actions and thoughts and so we quickly became close.
We shared many things, we had lunch together almost daily...we have children the same age, so we related on that level...we were both married to men similar in their ways...this we related on as well...our families etc...lots of things...it was almost as if she were my twin! Oh we laughed and shared and had such fun...until...the dark side of Jean emerged, slowly, like water seeping through a crack...little snide remarks she would make about this person or that, our coworkers...

Then the complaints began about her position here...her boss...her coworkers....then it moved to her family, then she began to complain about MY family, MY position, MY children, husband etc...ruthless, cutting remarks about all sorts of things. Day in and day out she found things to complain about, and not just quietly either, to anyone who she could catch their ear...

My 2 supervisors that I shared an office with, became aggravated at her, she came into office EVERY morning to chit chat, and me being nice, didn't know how to say "Jean leave me alone I have to work" without ******* her off...finally, they told her she had to stop coming in there, which added fuel to the fire, let me tell you! She would walk in to my cubicle and say "Good morning Amanda, oops, I forgot, I'm not allowed to come play with you anymore"...things like this...DAILY.

I continued to lunch with her, because I found myself hating my job, loathing my bosses, dreading my work...and she was my ear to chew and bend...all the while she was gathering this information for later use. She fueled me to hate, she fueled me to loathe, and she fueled every piece of negative energy that was in my body. I discovered that through this cycle, I began to turn into her...I became negative...I became bitchy...I became cutting and ruthless and hateful to all those I came into contact with here at work.

I also allowed this spill over into my life OUTSIDE of work, because we were Brownie troops leaders for our daughters, and man oh man, was that HORRIBLE. For us, and our kids. She badmouthed every kid in the troop, and their parents, their siblings,...everything about them. Her negative energy OOZED from her body.

Eventually, her home life came to a head, when he husband beat her up and left her. I came to her rescue and became sucked in even deeper. She let him move back home, much to my shock...and a year later, he was on the run, after setting their house on fire and burning it to the ground.

During this time, which I came to her rescue again, I began to see things in a different light...because our work was supporting her..I collected over $1000 for her in one day, yet she was not grateful. She was never grateful, for anything that anyone gave her, because it was never enough. We had a massive fight, and I told her what I thought of her. Then, shortly after, a job came open, that I am currently working in, and it was/is on another floor from her. I applied and prayed to get it. And I did.

God decided I'd had enough I guess, and I was released from her grip. After moving into this position and away from her, I FINALLY realized what she was doing to me and how horrible I had been. I went back and apologized to my old bosses for my behaviors and moved forward...

She took my happiness, and turned into dark, dark shadows that I had a hard time shedding. But I did it. I see her from time to time, and I am cordial, but we no longer socialize with each other, in work OR outside of work. She seemingly sucked the life out of me, my energies, my soul, my thought processes...and hence I coined her my personal emotional vampire...

posted November 26, 2003 08:03 PM         

Just a quick question - why is it that we attract people like that to ourselves? Are they our shadow, a lesson... whaddaya think?

posted December 02, 2003 08:03 AM         

Hmmm... I think I will go post on Nebel's thread now (finally!!! I have been meaning to for some time now.) and tell her she does NOT sound like an emotional vampire!!!!