posted August 01, 2004 10:40 PM         

But I'm having one problem. I just can't seem to open up and let my personallity come out. Like I want to talk but I can't because of some subconscious trigger in me that just makes me clam up. I give off this vibe and people just look right through me. When I'm open, I'm an amazing person and am in the moment. In tune with people and surroundins. So I understand that I have this potential.

I'm asking for adivce on how to open up... It really hurts when I can't tell that girl I like that I like her, or keep my friends intrest because I don't want to talk, but deep in my heart I really do... I guess there is fear in me. Have any of you had these problems before and can tell me a thing or two about finding an open heart.

I want an open heart. Because my Heart has so much love in it and I don't know how to give it...

posted August 02, 2004 09:52 PM         

I am a 39 yr. old shy Taurus, I feel the same way sometimes; I want to articulate how I feel and I don't know what words to use, or how to express myself. Often I feel that if I express myself on certain subjects I will be ridiculued or made fun of. So then I clam up too.

Maybe if you follow your passions, your interests, things will just fall into place? Also check in with some college counselors and maybe they can help steer you in the right direction, maybe there are youth support groups in your area?

posted August 03, 2004 09:11 AM         

Don't these guys give the best advice sometimes?

I have an odd mixture of extremes - I can be really outgoing, or really quiet. Maybe it's my Sag Sun / Cancer Moon!

I have had much of the same conflict in my life - knowing how I'd like to be in certain situations - but somehow can't!? I too need to place all the love in my heart! I am developing my labour of love and that will hopefully steady me more. I will tell you (all) more, when I'm more settled into that plan.

Y'know, I think you'll find this much easier now you've openly broached the subject. I did when I 'opened up' to it. I still get the invisible zip over my mouth in group conversations , but usually find it's best like that, since a forced response from me usually makes one weird sentence!!

Good luck my friend

posted August 03, 2004 09:38 PM         

unfortunately i can relate to your situation all too well. still. and i'm 29.

i was so shy and unhinged when i was young that i'd bring a book out to recess rather than have to interact with the other kids. i was lucky to find an incredible soul-group of friends in high school, but even then i felt like they perceived me differently than i felt myself to be. i can come across as aloof, rather than shy, because i have a strong sense of myself - it is just inner-directed. this causes problems to this day. i am trying also to get over fear - i'm not even certain of what exactly - in approaching new people and starting up conversations. i'm not good at "small talk" and i don't like it, but it is something you can teach yourself to do and it's most often a preliminary step to meeting new people. even here at lindaland it's taken me years (literally!) to open up. but to each his own.

the best thing i ever did for myself was to go abroad my junior year of college. i went on my own, and i really forced myself to be social and make new friends. i taught myself a lot, and i learned a lot from the folks i met. then i traveled by myself through Europe and i was further challenged. i noticed you mentioned somewhere a desire to travel. perhaps this will be your path as well. now i've lived all over the world and i am more comfortable in social situations. but more importantly i can be alone with my self. i've come to realize that is a rare and precious gift.

our society/culture puts a lot of emphasis on social interaction, witty dialogue and image. if you communicate through art and through vibration, or if you prefer to skip the bull%$@# and get to the heart of the matter, or talk about the forbidden subjects, it is hard to "fit in." one good thing is that like tends to attract like, and perhaps there are others around you that are deeper than you think - it's just that no one has given them a chance either. keep your heart-eyes open.

i'm really glad you've found a home here at LL in which to fully express yourself. it is so important.

i think it's not at all that your heart isn't open, my friend, but that it is so open you miss the surface steps others often deal in. maybe your gift is listening. maybe it's in challenging others' illusions. or maybe you're ready to challenge yourself to rise up out of the deep waters and tread the shore - realizing that you won't lose your ocean if you let yourself banter about the weather.

well, i also don't watch sports or TV, and that tends to be a conversation downer, so i may not be the best one to give advice!

but i for one am glad that you are the way your are. remember, don't change - just grow.

posted August 04, 2004 12:44 AM         

Nephthys, "Just trying to help" Thank you for your input.

pixelpixie: The Thing about Pisces is that they understand, but who understands them? little lone themselves....

thirteen: Thank for taking the time coming from work. You're right... Reading would be a good start.

Karen: I hate those extremes, don't you. I wanna act this way but can't find it in me at the moment.

Xelena Ben: I'm going to have to say you gave the best advise of all. Be patient... You had to give yourself some time to grow out side of the nest, that's what I need, it's coming quicker rather then later, so I don't need to worry about that And you are SO RIGHT If you don't watch TV, sports, whateva... You have to rely on good ol' fashion knowledge to strike up a conversation, and usually that requires being intellectual... "Oh my god? Being intellectual? Didn't they outlaw that 49 states?" I think it's still outlawed in Alaska too, it's just harder to enforce up there. Oh yea traveling would be something I love.

I want to open up to my peers more specifically, usually there more superficial... I'll just have to grow up and wait for them to grow up...

RIII

posted August 04, 2004 08:13 AM         

quote:

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I'll just have to grow up and wait for them to grow up...

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That is exactly what I have thought the whole time when I was trying to engage somebody in conversation when I was 17, 20, 25... but I also have Virgo Saturn in opp. of my Pisces Rising. Saturn there indicates making friend with older than you people and the Pisces rising is painfully shy.
So my point is - you can't wait to grow up and you don't have the time to let somebidy grow up and then communicate. It doesn't work that way. You have to face socializing with its ups and downs, joy and not so joyful moments NOW.
And trust me, it doesn't get any easier with age.

posted August 04, 2004 10:12 AM         

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Alex Damino