Posts: 827
From:
Registered: Apr 2006

posted December 29, 2006 11:38 PM         

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This happens to me a lot and I wonder if I ask for it. The thing is that I like helping people, and I'm generous with my time and energy... but then, those same people tend to demand more of it. I get exhausted trying to cater to everyone, and when I set boundaries for myself so that I can have some personal space, people get annoyed with me and I'm either "selfish" or gotten "distant" from them. So it puts me under pressure... I really find this to be very stressful because I'm torn between my own needs and the needs of others. What can I do about it? I know it places demands on my health overall so it's something I'd like to be able to deal with!

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Posts: 109
From: In my thoughts
Registered: Dec 2005

posted December 30, 2006 12:11 AM         

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Hi Gemini,
i think u need a break or a long holiday to soem scenic place so that u are admsit totall starngers..Its wodnerful that u help ppl and have a helping menattilyty which is rare ..sametime u shud learn to say firm no at times when u feel u cant ( thou i wont call myself very helpful, i generally get myselfin messy situations by offering to do soemthing or mutely accepting thinsg imposed on me ) .Dont fear its ur right to have tiem for urself
Chill and realx
Takecare
Jani

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Posts: 827
From:
Registered: Apr 2006

posted December 30, 2006 12:29 AM         

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Thanks Jani, in fact I'm going on a camping holiday tomorrow! But of course my mother makes that into a stress by worrying about every little detail of it... I'm going with my boyfriend... we go away camping every now and then and she NEVER likes it. So now it's like, I don't even want to go anymore. I feel like just staying home and giving everyone their own way over me. As usual.

And my ex was wanting me to print out 200 pages for him today. I don't think I'll have time to do it before I go away so now I feel bad about it. And my heart is beating fast because I'm letting people down!

I'll try to relax and leave people to their own devices for next few days. :-/

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