posted January 03, 2010 08:23 PM
Well this is not your typical physical health problem, but I figure it falls under the healing category.At work, I'm the known work horse, yet when it comes to my own life I drag my feet, am slow to changes, and shiver at the thought of what I need to do to move forward in life. So, I procrastinate. I found I've got some great ways at avoiding what needs to be done. Strangely, I know what exactly what needs to be done. Some things are difficult like dealing with an elderly parent, finding a new place to live, preparing for an uncertain employment future, getting in good physical health... while other goals are to start to paint for my own enjoyment and create lots of art, maybe start painting outdoors, still life studies, or design work just for the fun of it and then see if I can sell it online. I've been thinking about this well over a year or two. There is some sort of fear in the back of my mind that is stopping me from even doing potentially joyful activities.
I'm sick of this- making lots of plans, researching stuff to death instead of doing it, spending time on the internet - talking about interesting topics, continually learning rather than exploring.
How do I step passed the fear? I know my purpose, but something in the recesses of my mind seems to be running the show. At times there is so much to do, I feel overwhelmed. Some of it is important and other stuff is minor details that I cannot learn to care less about. Everything seems to be important whether it is paying a bill, doing something well with skill, doing my job well, etc. Yet I could then care less if I have pressed clothing or a clean refrigerator.
Anyone else deal with this strange combination of selective perfectionism, fear, procrastination mixed with a knowledge of a higher purpose that can bring you joy but you can't seem to get yourself motivated enough to do it?
Lindaland
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posted January 03, 2010 08:23 PM
posted January 03, 2010 11:22 PM
