posted April 25, 2013 04:44 PM            

'Why is it harder to love yourself than to love others?'

Dawned on me... that I had "forgotten" about applying the "Silver Rule" in my life!--

Do for yourself what you would not hesitate to do for others!

With that reminder, when it occurred to me, I would have an attitude of 'treating' and honoring myself as the "other"... Getting my self a glass of water, I would think of it, felt the joy to do this 'little thing' of giving myself the water. What flowing ease came to me... I applied care, and loveliness in what I did-- for me. (Just like I would feel if I got up to get you that glass if you were here with me and thirsty.)

'Doing for myself' had become a dry nuisance 'chore' over the past few years. I'd skip enjoying doing things I "frivolously" liked to do, or to have, for 'just me'...

Last week, I thought about how I gave up nice perfume. It was one of the first pleasures to leave my life... I remember where I was standing in my bathroom when this 'thought' first occurred. Out of economic failure, I stopped being able to 'afford' this overly-frivolous thing in my life. It was over twelve years ago, now.

I was 'trained' as a girl in my culture that my duty was to serve the family first, to serve the man first, to serve 'children' first, to serve guests with utter graciousness... I went through and into a deprivation for my own life. In fact, many religious teachings even supported it.

I was taught that it was disgusting and very 'selfish' to want things, and to want to possess those things for my own self. This was so severe that I didn't even think about it in my imagination (where we 'ought' to be free....).

So, .... I 'gave' myself away, and got a weird sort of malnourishment in my spirit...... It was replaced with dearth... ashes, always grief... cinderella. I couln't even properly "own" myself---- I was tricked (by my own mind) into thinking "I am nothing" because I have nothing. And that People give me nothing because I am a nothing, so there's the proof of it!

Tried to 'earn' myself... thinking that if I complied with people who "used" me, then they would pay me back some day. That didn't happen. That was a trick "they" used to take advantage of my talent; take advantage of my vulnerable young situation, and my body to 'pay' the price for what I thought was to be my freedom.

Today, I'm realizing (as I type this, and the Scorpio Lunar Eclipse culminated)... even MORE nuance of what this "Silver Rule" means ...

it means that if I give you my Heart, it means I am in possession of that Heart... and that it's the very best part of me. I don't and cannot exist without it. I can't lose it. I can give it away, but like the miracle in the Bible about the Multiplication of Loaves & Fishes, it's one thing I can give and it's multiplied rather than substractive to me.

It can painfully break, but it's MINE to feel.... Can't lose the pain---, but can't lose the Heart, either.

You cannot give your heart completely away... It's never really empty, although it can feel like it... ---- If there's love in your heart for others, it's also there for YOU, too---- You don't even need to "give" yourself the Love that's there, because you embody it.

YOU are Loved, listenstotrees...

Feel the Love you have for the things and people in your life that really matter ----- because it's actually YOU: loving you.

posted April 26, 2013 02:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Can you truly love another if you don't love yourself?

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yes

my love is real

i truly love people, and have throughout my life.

i'm just learning NOW to know what it means to put my own Self into the equation

i am ready to learn HOW to love MY SELF.... been through way too much pain--- and i know some people here at LL who struggle with that too.

yes, i think THEIR Love is Real, too

posted April 26, 2013 04:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
I hope I "remember" these things I've written here.... In clearer places I can see these, but if and when the muck comes back there are posts here that I can come back to and 'see' :

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Thanks for sharing.

At times I feel love for myself but at other times I don't. It's strange, to feel this ache inside to be loved and truly accepted by others and to have a sense of self worth that shatters like china whenever rejection is experienced, and instead of defending myself or protecting myself to turn inward and tare myself to pieces.

Maybe it doesn't matter if others love and accept me or not, as long as I am a friend to myself, and as long as I feel secure within my own heart that whatever I do, I have done the best I could, in that moment, with what I have, and sod other people if I am not their particular cup of tea, or they don't like or accept me!

The only problem is life can get lonely sometimes.

posted April 29, 2013 02:18 AM            

Gotta go to bed now, but the bottom line is that you and I are NOT alone... we ARE connected at a deep level. There is no time and distance there in the spirit.

One thing I like to do is to light a candle (if you can or wish) when things feel a bit too lonely for you. Let this represent the light of consciousness we all share. It's the 'presence' ... warmth, light, and comfort.

You have worth in you "just because" you EXIST. You already "fit" wherever you go because you EXIST to be a part of it. Happens on a level we're not conscious of sometimes.... but you DO have a great part to play. You were born for this time, to be here in this place--- typing with ME at LL

Thankyou so much for sharing your self here with me and others.... You're important to me!

posted May 02, 2013 02:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
If you ever figure this out let me know.

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I'm with you aquaguy.... I "forget" who I am... Reality descends and I go back to the vomit that I was restricted to... nothing but trash... What I dream, and what I want--- it's merely trashy talk... Can't happen!

Please remind me of my "possibility" when you find me in fits of despair.... And I will remind YOU of YOUR worth.... We are all beautiful gifts. Everyone has something to 'give'....

The Possibility is real, but I lose it again and again.... It sinks in sand, and I forget... I hope that Mirage is not just seeing the impossible disappointing maddening false reality, but that Mirage stands for something that is reflected and desired--- What is reflected exists to be pursued, and found. Reflection of something "real"...

Remind me that there's something "really" out there when you find me out alone on my ledges...! What I see is NOT mirage, but is the real and best to strive for... Even as is The Impossible Dream.

~I am not worthy....

posted October 09, 2013 07:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Can you truly love another if you don't love yourself?

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------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted October 09, 2013 08:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Can you truly love another if you don't love yourself?

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Yes, you can.

posted October 10, 2013 08:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:

Yes, you can.

LTT *hugs*.

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{{ }}

Please remind me of my "possibility" when you find me in fits of despair.... And I will remind YOU of YOUR worth.... We are all beautiful gifts. Everyone has something to 'give'....

Thank you....Just Say Yes~!

posted October 12, 2013 09:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Can you truly love another if you don't love yourself?

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Sure! Because they are better than me.

I made a thread about this in Divine Diversities: Question about self-love

There I said...

quote:

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I don't understand why I can love someone else and feel all warm and happy inside, but I cannot just summon that feeling at will, without that person being there. And I certainly don't get all happy thinking about myself.

Spiritual masters must have some kind of self-love that manifests as that warm energy inside...is that just like romantic love? That's my question.

I'd love to know if that sensation of being "in love" is available to people all the time, if they only meditate or follow some kind of discipline....OR if you really need to be in love to have it.

Does anyone else have an opinion on this?

Pardon me if this just sounds nuts, I don't know how to ask the question.

All input along these lines appreciated.

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posted October 12, 2013 10:06 AM            

This may not be your musical style, but I love the idea behind this song. A friend of mine once wrote out the lyrics for me and I still have them tucked away somewhere.

And I feel this way about so many people!

I'll Be Your Mirror

I'll be your mirror
Reflect what you are, in case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that you're home

When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you

posted October 12, 2013 10:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by listenstotrees:
Why is it much more difficult to value oneself than to value others? Why is it easy to nurture and protect their self esteem and self worth but find my own (self worth & self esteem) to be so incredibly fragile?

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It never fails to amaze me...seems like the people whose posts I love the most struggle with this problem the most. It's like everyone else sees the fruit of your perfectionism, but all you see is what still needs to be perfected even more?

I've always loved your posts, LTT. First one I saw was Human Giants in Uni-versal Codes and I was like, "Now THIS is a person who knows what's what!!"

posted October 13, 2013 12:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It never fails to amaze me...seems like the people whose posts I love the most struggle with this problem the most. It's like everyone else sees the fruit of your perfectionism, but all you see is what still needs to be perfected even more?...

---

We are incarnated souls who operate in this world through a 'new' personality with each re-birth (Isabel Hickey,CosmicScience-introduction). You choose to incarnate with the predispositions and vulnerabilities you feel.

We subconsciously "choose" to be born to a set of parents, extended family, and soul intuition guides us towards our community social groups, and the 'fit' and 'nonfit' of the friends we choose. 'Experience' teaches our soul 'who it is' until we FINALLY discover (through incarnations) who we really are and WHAT our soul's purpose IS.

We share this 'Experience'... We "take turns" being each other's co-reflection. Each face we see, each voice we hear on the "outside" touches places inside, and we 'learn'....

I feel we all have a responsibility to the 'other.' We help each other "define" who we are.

Some 'Others' feel "compelled" to shun and sling hurt and labels to those whom they consider to be 'inferior' to themselves. "Different" becomes "Inferior"... applies to groups as well as a lone individual....

As one preacher said, "You can't give what you don't have...." And maybe the reverse of that is also true.... the good, and the ugliness found inside. (LL-Faith, it's like your UndergroundVelvet 'Mirror' song suggests... *thumbsup*.)

I took part in a psycho-spiritual integration 'growth-group' experience in SanFrancisco, 1979 (I was 24yo). In very short words.... Personality born is a diamond, the world throws crap at it, you believe the crap and build a 'mask' or false-personality to 'Socially' be more appealing and attractive to Other 'masked persons' in our groups.

Our "TRUE SELF" is the Diamond inside... NOT a 'sanitized' perfection, 'practiced' Reflected Mask-Self.

The work from the INDIVIDUAL is to work towards dismantling the crap between the CORE and the Society-MASK/ false persy.

The work from the GROUP/Other is to Awaken as Individuals, (work on ourselves), and become CONSCIOUS of what we do and say to Others. We need to help EACH OTHER change the paradigm, change the Social Environment into a Kinder setting...... Promotes the DEEPEST Healing. When we help Heal Others, we 'help our selves'.... A Resonance begins. Hopefully we COULD change the world. We are inter-related. Can't do it 'all by yourself'

But it IS POSSIBLE that we can inadvertently demolish and devastate a vulnerable human being FOR LIFE through the narcissitic careless utterly-cruel remarks made about the things 'we DON'T truly understand' in another being.... About those things that are 'what we don't understand', inside.

(music) Christina Aguilera - Reflections [3:37] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8GUCQQZS64

Look at me... you may think you see
Who I really am, but you'll never know me
Every day... it's as if I play a part
Now I see... if I wear a mask
I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my Heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I
Have to hide my heart, and what I believe in,
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my Heart and Be Loved for 'who I am'

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that 'I'm someone else' for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal 'what we think' and 'how we feel'?
Must there be 'a secret me' I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend 'that I'm someone else' for all time

When will my reflection show 'who I am' inside?
When will my reflection show 'who I am inside'?

Songwriters
PALMER, KEVIN/FUKAI, JAMES/SINGLETON, JASON

posted October 15, 2013 10:04 PM            

Mirage, THANK YOU.

I so needed to read all of that. I'm going to re-read again tomorrow after I've had some rest (it was a loooooong day) and reply more.

Many many thanks.