posted December 05, 2011 03:00 AM            

why do we do some things that we do?

posted December 22, 2011 09:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Venus:
--the first one gave me the creeps..

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posted February 08, 2012 01:34 AM            

i think a lot of things have changed for the better lately (past 10 to 20 years) but many things still need to be changed, or maybe updated to say the least..

especially religion, i live in relatively conservative society (emphasis on the relatively) and i have to say many "convictions" that people share are really the root of a lot of problems,
narrow mindedness is a very serious problem but dogmatism is by far the worst..

posted October 30, 2012 05:24 AM            

ok guys what are some outdated beliefs, traditions, teachings, or whatever that you think should b changed or maybe even stopped?

the obvious would be some religious stuff, but i don't want to get into that. let's keep it on a social level. or maybe educational.

posted November 02, 2012 02:56 AM            

on that note, yesterday my 15 year old brother went to the movies with his buddies. and you see my mother and i are, how can i put this, over bearing? so i scouted in front of the theatre even though it was just 9pm. i just didn't want him to walk home alone. anyway after the movie was done he came out of the theatre with 8 other kids and they're all like super tall and look quite mature including my brother (but in my mind he's still a baby ) so while walking home he was with his buddies a little in front of me and they were walking nonchalantly, while i was looking around carefully grabbing my purse, avoiding motorcycles and weird men who stare at me, like I do every single day. so you see my 15 year old brother has is it good, he can go about any time anywhere and he will be safe, or at least much safer than his 23 year old sister would be doing the exact same thing.

posted November 02, 2012 07:38 PM            

Like women, guys also have to balance the contradictory messages as well ("be tough" vs. "be sensitive/considerate/cool" as just one example, and fail at balancing that just right can cost you among men & women both). I imagine it must be as frustrating and even stressful as it is for a woman to balance being sexy and desired without "asking for it," "leading him on," etc.

And my dad got royally screwed in divorce court...though part of that was his getting drunk and being really stupid, had he been more mature he wouldn't have been anywhere as screwed. Sure, I understand his rage at Mom and her dirty tricks, but smashing the window to crawl through it and try to kill her after there's a restraining order against him from coming near her with her racing to the neighbors who called the police as he came out publicly raging that he was going to kill her did NOT help him court. (Didn't help him with me either since I spent that time hiding under the bed in tears thinking Dad was going to kill us both, and who knows, maybe if Mom hadn't gotten away with him chasing after her maybe he would've.)

That said, the police usually ignored the restraining order, and I know it was him who sabotaged the brake pad of his beloved Camaro when Mom won it from him that nearly killed us both and according to him the police didn't even bother to question him over it. And though divorce court screwed Dad, Mom was even more screwed by divorce itself, especially once she couldn't claim me as a dependent anymore (losing child support and a lot of her welfare bennies). And just to be clear, the welfare & child support wasn't much at all, and we both had to skip days of eating (in my case I learned to crash at friend's houses to eat)...though that said, had Mom been responsible she COULD have made it work, barely, but she was as bad as Dad in her own way. (Years later she gave up and sold the house and moved into a much smaller trailer on family property waiting to inherit Granny's home which was perhaps the best decision she ever made since the divorce.)

But I can understand why Dad thinks he had it hard. He did, but so did Mom. (And perhaps I'm prejudiced but I think I'm the one who had it worst during and after the divorce, though both Mom & Dad would say they were the ones who suffered the most.)

posted November 02, 2012 07:59 PM            

And with that, here's the lyrics of a song by Dar Williams:

I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate deck.

And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."

And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in, they've got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy, too

And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"

posted January 08, 2013 03:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I do agree that many gender roles are outdated...I also believe that they're inherent at some level, but only partially (and I don't know how much), but they can be modified as various cultures have produced much more assertive women (a few cultures even made women fight until they became pregnant, and IIRC one culture was said to not allow a woman to marry until she'd killed at least one enemy, though IIRC it was an Ancient Greek who said that and they didn't always fact check before asserting) and also men who much more artistic, intellectual, and sensitive. Even in some warrior cultures it was ok for men to cry. I'd like to see the boundaries loosened up for both genders, even if only a few take advantage of the new freedom. It really shouldn't be a big deal anyway, save, I think, many men & women want to feel superior by shaming others of their own gender for not living up to certain standards.

And with that, here's the lyrics of a song by Dar Williams:

I won't forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I'm glad he didn't check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate deck.

And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, "Get your shirt,"
I said "No way, it's the last time I'm not breaking any law."

And now I'm in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in, they've got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting...that I was a boy, too

And like the woods where I would creep, it's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, 'cept when I'm being caught off guard
And I've had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say, "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won"

And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see,
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl, too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you"

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PS.
I remember riding my bike topless too, when I had no girly chest
and thought I would grow up to be a man.
Then I was told I was being bad because I was showing my "t!ts".
I was at the time no different from boys chest wise.
But I was bad because I was just being a boy.