posted August 03, 2012 06:38 AM            

say if i believe that unicorns rule the galaxy, while the father of my child believes that gorillas rule the galaxies. which of these beliefs would be transmitted to the child? i know i can't teach a child of mine thoughts i do not believe in.

i am aware that children grow up and eventually make their own personal conclusions. and i am for that. but every kid needs guidance. and they all have questions about the universe. how can these 2 guardians find the right thing to say to their child?

this is why i would think twice about starting a family with someone with different religious beliefs. i am not racist, or in any way conservative. but i would like to raise my children just like i was raised..

posted August 08, 2012 04:57 AM            

The religious aspect was a confusing to comprehend at a young age, until I was a bit older to understand.

They didn't force me to choose between the two until I got into a fight with a cousin who made a snarky remark at me for not following one faith.. and my parents mutually agreed to enroll me in a Catholic elementary school. :/

Skipping ahead, personally, I do lean towards my Indian heritage more although I have not conformed myself to one faith.

I'm also grateful that w
e were exposed to both cultures and faiths.

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quote:

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted August 08, 2012 05:15 AM            

a friend of mine has a Shi’a mother and a Christian (prob. orthodox) dad. she told me that in debate she always takes the other person's side. when debating a Muslim she's a Christian, and vice versa.. hehe she really likes pushing people's buttons..

anyway this question isn't just necessarily about religion. it could be other things that the parents differ on.

posted August 16, 2012 07:13 AM            

(warning: LONG post)

On the one hand, I can see teaching people about both religions if a couple of different faiths has kids. On the other hand, though, some beliefs are fundamentally incompatible, and in some cases, you cannot hold two conflicting identities or belong to both groups.

I think that trying to "blend" both--for example, celebrating holidays of two very different religions--does not always work. While people can hold to some traditions, you can't always claim both identities in some cases in terms of beliefs. You can be "culturally" two different things, but you can't hold some beliefs in tension--some you can, others you can't. If one person is atheist, for example, they cannot also be a Christian. They could practice some Christian traditions, like having a Christmas tree or exchanging Christmas gifts, but that doesn't make that person both atheist and Christian. It makes him/her a culturally Christian atheist observing only the secular parts of Christianity and ignoring the sacred.

I would say that some religions probably mix better together than others in terms of having similar beliefs. I'd also say that if you don't have kids, it's probably easier since you can each just do your own thing and not worry about it too much.

I also don't know that it's good to just let people choose as adults because, as we've discussed at my church, you miss out on a lot spiritually if you're not brought up in a faith and have to play catch-up later. You may also not really be taught things that are consistent with that faith. My own opinion is that this should be decided before children ever come into the picture, or else when children are still young, so that they get to experience all of the rites, education, etc. and grow up with a faith. I used to believe that people should wait until adulthood, but, as we also discussed at church, you don't deny small children food just because they don't understand what it is or what it does: you give that to them to nourish them. Likewise, religion can be a spiritual way of doing that. In addition, people do always choose their faith as adults: they choose to stay in the faith, to not practice any faith, to convert to something else, or to not be fully observant of a faith but still retain cultural aspects of it. So, really, people do choose faith as adults whether they are raised in it or not. Having a child grow up in a religion does not change the fact that they will still choose, someday, whether to accept or reject it, in whole or in part. That's just my own opinion, though.

(Note, too, that I'm not saying that someone should always be raised in a faith no matter what--I do not think that way. I think that no faith is better than a dangerous cult like Jim Jones or something like that).

In some cases, too, you may have to formally convert (e.g., go through baptism, confirmation, etc.) as an adult, even if you had a parent of that faith, if they did not have you do that as a child. To give another example, to my understanding, a child who does not have a Jewish mother has to convert formally to Judaism even if they were taught about it by a Jewish father (though I also understand that there is disagreement between Orthodox and Reform Judaism on this one). So, even if you raise a child in one religion, they may not be considered a member of the community unless they fulfill certain obligations, regardless of what they believe. Having those obligations fulfilled at a young age would give them access to and membership in the community.

edit to add: here's a link on that/one example of an explanation against raising people in both religions that puts it very well:
http://urj.org/ask/questions/brit/#christen

posted October 08, 2012 10:31 PM            

My family continues to consist of mostly practicing Catholics, and I do attend Mass with them from time to time (out of tradition). My children have all been baptized, and we do allow them the freedom to express their own views.

Our home is like an eclectic mix. Our oldest child recently began expressing an interest in my pagan practices, passed down from my grandmother's native american spirituality.

This same child had expressed interest in attending Catholic religious education last year to complete the sacrament of Communion, but is now wanting to explore other spiritual concepts. My husband and I are both on page that it is good for the kids to make up their own minds on beliefs, while answering their questions.

The premise in our home is basically eclectic, with some tradition added in. We agreed to baptize the kids and take them to mass so they'd understand their cultural religious roots, with the understanding of not forcing this religion onto them.

Overall, we follow the traditional Christian Holidays and do keep religious books and items related to that path, but also have many books on paganism and other paths. I like to think of it as an open environment, then again in my culture it is nothing new to have Catholic images and rites next to pagan ones as a tribute to the mixture of European and Indigenous

posted October 10, 2012 03:54 PM            

Demonstrable proof need only apply, or go to your room without supper...!

(Id aim to have the most precocious kids imaginable)

posted October 11, 2012 06:23 AM            

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
...

posted October 11, 2012 06:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Venus:
not to be sappy but i love this :

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
...

Khalil Gibran

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