posted February 16, 2013 10:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:
... I feel like a squirrel before the first snow... trying to get everything in order for the winter, and hoarding and hiding away supplies.

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Ditto to all that!

Thanks for posting the charts, though I am WAY behind when it comes to deciphering astrologese. I usually get it if I stare at the computer mumbling to myself for a long time...but I'm a slow calculator.

Hmm I'm jealous of your Jupiter-Neptune-Mercury conjunction on the awesome Sag-Cap Cusp. Wow! That explains a lot to me, about how you seem to think so much so fast...honestly, just based on my own preferences about placements, and how I imagine things coming together, I feel like building a shrine to that little stellium, it's just sooo neat!!

(^ See, weird little thoughts like that keep bouncing around in my head which makes me realize I should just lay low until this possible star-disease I have clears up! LOL)

Your progressed chart is amazing...all those zeros on the angles. Kinda looks like your life is holding its breath? So maybe that's another reason you are (were?) feeling like being a hermit.

Your vertex is conjunct my Mercury at 5 Aquarius

Besides the Pluto stuff I mentioned above and the fact that it's super cold so I feel lazy...like all I really want to do is bundle up and dream...I can't explain myself.

We went to Ocean City, NJ today; I love the beach in the winter. That was restorative....just empty spaces, long horizons and the quiet shhhhing of the waves. My family all loved it.

'Wish everyone could have peaceful times like that.

Ok, hope you all are well, I'm going back to my cloister now...

posted February 19, 2013 04:08 PM            

yeah I'm crazy like that! :P sleep is precious to me!

posted February 24, 2013 08:10 PM            

Mother called to let me know that stepfather's doctors have given him the dreaded "any time now" prognosis. His condition has worsened to the point of excruciating pain, (built up from the pressure of the tumor on his brain), and they are now giving him two pain medications, (including a dose of morphine every 2 hours, but saying he now needs it every hour... it's doing nothing for him... he can't even sleep.) ~He's also stopped talking. Though when I asked she said he is conscious, but also that they're not sure he can hear... hospice is bringing him home tomorrow, she's not sure if she can handle him being there, or that my brother and her really /want/ him there dying at the house... I've always been the one to face death, even with our pets... so she's looking into a caregiver for the majority of the day... I respectfully told her, that I'd wished I could have brought my father home to die instead of him passing away in that awful nursing home that he despised in every way, granting him his last wish... that I think, my stepdad would indeed want to be home... I think she got it. I told her that Aunt S did this when my uncle (her husband) passed away the other year, and she said Aunt S has been in contact with her daily and would be over to help her ready the house for him coming home tomorrow. I was happy to hear this at least... since her and my grandmother are being really immature with each other atm. >.<; And, I just had to ask her /how she's doing/ - as in, her mental state... of course she's a wreck... that's to be expected. She said the doctors gave her something, so of course I had to be the ballsy one and ask "how strong"... if I've learned anything from the many loved ones I've lost in these last few years... it's that trusting those hit the hardest to be able to be responsible for their own well being after they lose that connection, they should not be left unattended, or fully trusted... (I've seen so many try to go with their "other" person, from the sisters to the grandparent, to the girlfriend.... I just don't trust leaving them alone, especially when they're under medications.... so dangerous... and I just -know- it.) ~she said it isn't too strong... but this is a woman who A) gets addicted to extraordinarily strong pain meds very easily and B) abuses them quite frequently.... :/ Can never be too certain or prepared... in any case... that's about all I got out of her... (Though she did say my brother has been "open" about his emotions, I somewhat doubt he really is... with him this is a serious issue... both of us are Capricorns, we have a very unique synastry for siblings, and despite a huge age gap are so close emotionally, we can both pick up cues at what is going on beneath the surface of each other, a great depth of understanding... but, I severely doubt he's releasing his stress and worry and pain... I can just (literally) SEE him bottling it up and having it explode in some terrible reckless way after the fact... and this has me even more worried than with my mother... Jr... is not, and has never been, good at communicating his emotions. His temper always gets the best of him when he finally lets them out... and mom is in no way equipped to deal with that side of him (all alone) right now. /sigh - bother......

anyway-
I'm desperately trying to find a way home in short notice, though we've known it was inevitable for a bit over a month now, issues with my residency/health insurance haven't been amended, (damn them for getting my day of birth wrong in Toronto, when they have EVERY bit of my details right the hell in front of them... dumb ******** .) And, gathering the money, which has now been moved to another location, and will need to also be sorted out... then, booking a flight for two (Doc has to come with, or my mother would probably lose her mind for sure)... just thinking about how hard it will be on a plane or even a bus (we've done this when he was still an infant, both times were disastrous for me and my fragile nerves, and I wasn't even under the same stress as I will be again now.) Just keep thinking back to losing my father last summer, and now my stepdad, but thinking how it is going to crush my mother, and whatever it is doing to my little brother,who has seemingly stopped communicating with me over the last two weeks... I just can't keep focus on any one thing...

Still trying to stay positive, and strong... not for me, so much as them... though it doesn't seem like the fully respect, appreciate, or understand what I'm going through with this as well...

*feeling like an outsider in my own family*

Trying to put together his (the stepfather's chart) in order to determine possible time frame here, I have a sneaking suspicion it will show him in Jupiter return...

In some cultures, as well as true mythology... Jupiter is the planet of death... despite modern interventions in astrology connecting this to Saturn, who governed time (order), and growth/withering (he was an agricultural and peaceful deity, often forgotten today, all the wonderful things he brought to mankind that were destroyed when Zeus/Jupiter took over.) /sigh

Anyway - ty for letting me minivent.... >.<;

*floating* ~ sorry for any morbidity this may have given off... morbidity - mortality...
*endrantypost*

edit - he is under jupiter return, his jupiter is cnj my north node... exact cnj rigel at 16' Gemini. (no birth time... but at default of noon, this is his first house... I can't be, and will probably never know his birth time, or think he knows it... he was a home birth.) ~sigh~ figures.

posted February 25, 2013 02:55 PM            

this Jupiter significance in the transits of someone on the verge of passing, is eerily accurate. >.<; I even back checked(?) for my father, and my grandfather now... Jupiter is in return... in all of these cases. /sigh

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sand - I bet you do. I thought you liked Aquarius Mars too though? - and yes you are being random. Nothing wrong with Pisces Mercury either though... he's got a good chart, little bugger... except for the Venus squares, I think. But, even his squares have beneficial aspects behind them from elsewhere. so... yeah. He's lucky...

posted February 25, 2013 04:05 PM            

pisces merc my aries merc needs to send 2 messages.

1. the original message

2. another one explaining the original message

posted February 25, 2013 04:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Hugs to SaturnineMoth! and ail~~

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Ditto.

In my experiences, this is the hardest part. When someone is dying. For most of the people I've lost, the actual death came as a relief from suffering.

I suppose I've been fortunate to only lose one loved one suddenly.

posted February 25, 2013 07:32 PM            

@Mirage and Faith Thank you.
Its fine you can change the subject

posted February 26, 2013 12:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ail221:
I agree, I recently lost my grandmother and it was just 4 degrees conjunct her natal jupiter return.

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posted February 26, 2013 08:28 AM            

I'm sorry that she seemed to be doing better and then died. But after seeing several people die slowly and painfully, over the course of many months or years, I know how much of a blessing it can be to go in one's sleep. I was relieved to read that.

Still...

posted February 27, 2013 11:31 PM            

My aunt doesn't even have the balls to leave him. She doesn't even love him...She only stays because they have a son together & her self esteem is so low, that she decided to settle for a posessive, ugly (in & out), lazy guy. She thinks she only deserves that kind of guy...I want both of them out of my life. F*ck family, it's just a bunch of random people who you must get along with just because you are blood related. Our personalities just don't click...When my uncle comes here, I want his a$$ deported back to the Philippines.

posted February 28, 2013 06:19 PM            

he passed on to the great big campground in the sky.
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checked transits, *had birth time wrong originally*

mental state, not the best for analysis... but, the most significant aspects...

nJup exact square to transit, nJup exact cnj tSun, several interesting Quiniles(really, need to learn more about their influence in areas beyond creativity)...

asteroids n/t Atropos,Klotho,Lachesis aspect to themselves and each other, (in transit to natal). tMoira only makes Quinile to Moira natal, doesn't stand out like the fates by name. Lachesis and Atropos have more natal and transit aspects than Klotho does at the moment... not sure, if there's any research on them in passing charts, but I guess it makes sense that Clotho isn't as distinguished in passing transit... her role in the determining the mortality of a being is already complete, by myth at least. Jupiter and Pluto still figure in, as do Mercury (transit), Moon, and Sun. I think...

temporary distraction~ didn't hold for long... but, I'll go and check them later when my mind is cleared... just for research sake.

[URL= http://youtu.be/J_6APTb3RNQ]Vladimir Horowitz, Chopin's Raindrop Prelude[/URL]

posted February 28, 2013 11:13 PM            

*If you want you can take it out now- ^^;

I saved it to my ipod, I'll drop you an message when I get some rest... didn't sleep a wink last night... must be the transits, I swear... my senses are all off, I keep hearing things, and I'll ask hubby, "you hear that!?"

ugh - half of it's paranoia, I'm sure... but half of it is really just me hearing really low sounds, been causing horrible migraines, that's how awful they are.

Telling a 5 year old to settle own and be quiet... not easy!

he has no idea what's going on, but he held my hand earlier and seemed to be picking up on things, though I don't feel it's time for him to know these things... or that he can even grasp them. I gotta be careful...

Libra Moons, I don't know if they're all that sensitive to the emotions of those around them, but he always is... and the poor bugger always thinks it's his fault... if he sees anyone upset, /he/ says "I'm sorry" over and over... I hate that, (though it is kinda cute when he says it)... he shouldn't need to feel any sorrow. right?

One day, I'll tell him how his Great granda saved me from the fire, how his great uncle wrestled a bear, and how both his grandfather's were insanely unusual fellows... (course, I intend on inflating the stories to legend status... lol such is the way we preserve their memory best! ^^; ...)

really though, it's like I told husband.

I didn't think the last time I saw my father, was the last time I'd see my stepfather too.

Thank you again!~