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Author Topic:   LALA, 26T, EVERYONE!!! I need some help
alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From: Somewhere over the Rainbow...
Registered: May 2009

posted November 07, 2005 05:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lately, I've been finding myself emotionally detaching from family, my boyfriend, my friends, even myself. I finally realized what I want to do with my life and how I want to go about doing it and its like I want nothing to do with anything I've loved before. It's as if I want to permanently destruct the life I lead now, and move on to a new one and I DONT want to be held back. I feel myself pushing everyone away, but its also weird because I'm not feeling anything . I know I'm not depressed so I can't say that. I think its because I've relied on people my entire life and now that I can stand on my own I feel like severing all those ties I thought I needed. But I don't want to hurt those people in the process AND I don't want to make a mistake. Arrrggh, I'm so confused.

I feel like a different person. I explained to my boyfriend that I currently feel as if someone ripped a huge chunk out of my personality. And that emptiness is not enabling me to function properly. I feel as if I'm always walking on pins and needles when I'm around people that know me well, and actually care. But when I get into a new environment that I haven't been to before with people I've never met, I feel at home. ???

Does that make any sense?
I thought it may have had to do with my transits. But I can't be too sure... what do you guys think?

Transiting...

Mercury conjunct Saturn (how I feel is pretty Saturn-like at the moment)
Saturn conjunct Moon (10th house transit)

Venus conjunct Neptune (could i possibly feel trapped by my relationship, and using emotional escapism?)
Uranus conjunct natal Jupiter (5th house...boyfriend issue?I've found myself daydreaming about other lovers and desiring that, even though i wouldn't do it normally, the urge has been strong..could this aspect have to do with cheating?)
Chiron on the IC--don't understand this one but might have to do with how i feel towards my home situation at the moment? which is that i NEED to get away, but I feel like I've somehow agreed to being tied down and kept here against my will (instead of being off at school..)
Jupiter conjunct Sun (1st house, overdoing importance of personal goals?)
Jupiter conjunct Pluto (in the 1st house...could mean an exagerrated obsession with ...myself maybe.)

Neptune conjunct Mars -- I don't get this one..
Mars transiting my 7th house

I'd love to get feedback.. I need it! I feel horrible right now and I want to get my amiable, loving, caring self back! Not this ice cold, emotionless, career/goal driven wench i've become

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Libra Rising, Scorpio Sun, Leo Moon

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wilsontc
unregistered
posted November 07, 2005 06:13 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
alanbelle,

Transits can be VERY challenging, and I sympathize with your situation! However, I need ALL your chart information in order to suggest astrological possibilities. Please post your birth information in the format:
Month Day, Year
City County/Province State/Country
XX:XX AM/PM

Wanting to help,

Tim

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alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From: Somewhere over the Rainbow...
Registered: May 2009

posted November 07, 2005 06:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
October 26th, 1986
Hartford, CT, USA
5:43 am

------------------
Libra Rising, Scorpio Sun, Leo Moon

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wilsontc
unregistered
posted November 07, 2005 07:38 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Alanabelle,

Thanks for posting your birth information! My method for transits is to only use the outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) and to first look at the "hot spots" of the chart (Ascendant, Descendant, Nadir, and Midheaven) to see if there are any conjunctions to those points.

And I see that transiting (planets in the sky) Saturn (duty, also career, structure) was conjunct (energy is combined with) your Midheaven (outer world) in July 2005, so around that time your career "peaked" to you in some way, as you realized/achieved your career/structuring goals.

I ALSO see that transiting Neptune (spirituality, also confusion) conjuncted your Nadir (inner world) the year of 1998 (it moved back and forth on your Nadir the entire year, finally completing its conjunction in December). This might have been a time of intense inner confusion.

So this inner confusion set up in 1998 is now being RESOLVED with this strong Saturn transit over your Nadir. It is sort of like...Neptune confused you inwardly and now Saturn is here to set everything straight in the world!

And, in addition to Saturn, you have transiting Pluto (transformation, also power) conjuncting your Uranus (friends, also rebellion, restructuring) focused in the 2nd house (physical, also values). So at this "structured" time you ALSO have energies that urge you to "take control" and "rebel against your old values"...POWERFUL rebellion and restructuring of your values at this time.

Uranus energy tends to allow people around, but not TOO close: close but not TOO close is how Uranus energy is frequently expressed. Add a little "Pluto power" to the mix and you have got a VERY independent person...whether they want to be or not (Pluto is VERY insistent on whatever it puts power into! )!

The challenge is you are trying to "take control" of energies which are "beyond your control". Allow Pluto to work its "power magic" (Pluto also rules the occult) on you and show you how to restructure your values in the way you always wanted!

It SOUNDS like the Pluto process is working and you are OWNING your own power (VERY important in Pluto transits: Pluto power is either owned BY your or used AGAINST you), the scary part is suddenly being THAT powerful! It's OK, this is all part of the Pluto process. Allow yourself to become the person you have ALWAYS wanted to be!

Next year transiting Pluto will be conjuncting your Neptune, and that will ALSO be a time of "cleaning out the confusion"! This is a transformative time...just go with it and learn more about you and your potentials than you could have ever imagined!

Processing Pluto,

Tim

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alanabelle86
Knowflake

Posts: 59
From: Somewhere over the Rainbow...
Registered: May 2009

posted November 07, 2005 08:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much, that was so informative

------------------
Libra Rising, Scorpio Sun, Leo Moon

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 466
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 17, 2005 12:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey alanabelle, me too.

Only, I'm on the depression train mostly.

But I am incredibly detatched.

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