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Author
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Topic: Help with Venus in Capricorn man......sooo confused :(
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konableim
Newflake Posts: 21
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 25, 2012 02:12 PM
  
I'm sorry this is probably going to be long...any advice would realllyyy be appreciated.I've been dating a venus in cap for almost six months now(his sun is in aquarius, im a libra with venus in scorpio). The first month or so he always initiated to hang out, and texted me everyday without fail. We only went out for a drink once....usually just hung out at his place or my place which was fine with me. At some point he stopped initiating to hang out, but was still texting everyday. I brought it up to him and he said it was because of my son...he wasnt sure when my son was around and didnt want to push himself into my life. Fast forward about 5 weeks and nothing had changed...I was the only one intitiating to hangout, we were only seeing each other once a week, and it was always at night. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore for those reasons. A week went by and he was still texting me everyday and I regretted my decision, told him so....and started back up. 3 weeks later and we saw eachother 4 times that week....the friday night we're hanging out at my place. He said something like, "if you can find my heart you can have it". He was like a different person that one night...not his cold, reserved self. He brought up about me breaking it off with him and asked if I was ok now. We had a good talk and I felt much better about "us". He also invited me to go for breakfast the next morning.(the second time we had been out since we started dating) The last two weeks have been pretty rocky. At one point I offered to make him dinner and he replied with "lol, why? you dont need to do that". Last weekend I told him I didn't think he liked me very much bc when you like someone you make an effort to see them. He told me I was wrong. I said I didn't think he cared about me. He said I was wrong...but never actually said "I do really like you and I do care about you". Just a few more pieces of info....EVERYTIME we hang out, he talks about babies and how this friend and that friend are pregnant and this other friend just had their first baby. Every single time...and he is always sending me pics of him with his niece and nephew.
I can only remember one time that he complimented me, when we first started dating, he took a cab to my house just to bring me lemonade and then left...and texted that I looked nice. That was the only time.
He's an electrician and he offered to put up new track lighting in my bedroom which he did. I'm very sorry about the length of this but I just don't know what to do anymore....I feel like he's giving me crumbs and I want the whole damn pie!! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 36026
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 25, 2012 02:43 PM
I did not read your post cuz I am running out but venus in Cap men like quality in a woman. Dont' do anything cheap such as talk with swears or dress too seductively. Be the kind of girl he can bring home to mom  ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
konableim
Newflake Posts: 21
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 25, 2012 02:49 PM
Thank you Ami Anne 
I am the type of girl that doesn't swear or dress seductively.
Moms always love me too  What I really would like to know is if he actually cares about me and if he will ever let me in? I know venus in cap are slow to love, trust etc. Is this typical venus in capricorn behaviour? IP: Logged |
AriesKat
Knowflake Posts: 149
From: Brooklyn, NY USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 27, 2012 09:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by konableim:
Thank you Ami Anne
I am the type of girl that doesn't swear or dress seductively.
Moms always love me too What I really would like to know is if he actually cares about me and if he will ever let me in? I know venus in cap are slow to love, trust etc. Is this typical venus in capricorn behaviour?
From what I read your way past what clothes to wear and what curse word not to use. I don't know any cap in venus men, but I don't think his behavior is indictive of just a Cap in Venus man but any man who takes a woman for granted. Ive had this done to me before your not alone. They butter you all up get your defenses down and then pull back they want to see how you will respond. I think you made it too easy for him from the start, just settling for house dates and then offering to cook for him after he clearly hasnt been treating you well, thus rewarding bad behavior. now hes got you acting like the dude, chasing, pusuing him all he has to do is reep the rewards. Im not sure if all is lost but If you pull back, stop chasing, stop pursuing and nagging you may be able to get his attention again. Seriously cease all communication and even if he reaches out every day you arent obligated to respond at all, and you shouldnt. in the meantime channel your enery into yourself and those who have proven to already Love and support you. Hope this helps IP: Logged |
AriesKat
Knowflake Posts: 149
From: Brooklyn, NY USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 27, 2012 09:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by konableim:
Thank you Ami Anne
I am the type of girl that doesn't swear or dress seductively.
Moms always love me too What I really would like to know is if he actually cares about me and if he will ever let me in? I know venus in cap are slow to love, trust etc. Is this typical venus in capricorn behaviour?
also if a man cares and loves you will know, you would have to ask anyone. And honestly us strangers dont and wont kno only you, him and your heart will know. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 36026
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 27, 2012 11:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by konableim:
Thank you Ami Anne
I am the type of girl that doesn't swear or dress seductively.
Moms always love me too What I really would like to know is if he actually cares about me and if he will ever let me in? I know venus in cap are slow to love, trust etc. Is this typical venus in capricorn behaviour?
You have to earn their RESPECT. Everything is about respect with Caps xx ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8654
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 30, 2012 02:40 AM
OK I have Capricorn Venus, I've dated Capricorn Venus, and I read your post in earnest.
When you say always at night, do you mean a sexual relationship only and you wanted more?
Did you have the talk with him about being monogamous? These can be rhetorical.
OK so you had your lil freak out but he kept texting.
"Last weekend I told him I didn't think he liked me very much bc when you like someone you make an effort to see them."
---Be straight with him. If you want to see him on certain days, let him know. He may not always be able to fit you in (Aqua Sun/Cap Venus) but if he's around, that's saying something.
This Sun/Venus combo in a man can be incredibly hard to read, depending on the Moon, and the aspects Moon and Venus make. But just isolating this, don't expect too much romance or flowery sweet nothings, the way you might be used to. This guy's understated, like almost without a PULSE.
If he's there, it means something. If he's in contact with you, it means something. But he can be pretty afraid of just letting it all hang out like the avg fool.
"I feel like he's giving me crumbs and I want the whole damn pie!!"
---I getcha I getcha.
OK so have you been straight with him about what you want? Or are you trying to give him hints and pray he'll wake up? More importantly, when you sincerely tell him how you feel about him what's the response?
"he took a cab to my house just to bring me lemonade and then left...and texted that I looked nice. That was the only time."
---Aquarius all-the-way.
"He's an electrician and he offered to put up new track lighting in my bedroom which he did."
---That's sweet.
"Is this typical venus in capricorn behaviour?"
---More in line with a guy who has Aqua Sun/Cap Venus. Is his Venus afflicted?IP: Logged |
konableim
Newflake Posts: 21
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 30, 2012 11:25 AM
When we first started talking, I made it clear I was not looking for just sex. He knew I wanted a relationship, and he said he was looking for the same. Also, when I broke it off with him, I said "remember how I told you I wasn't only looking for sex? This is what its starting to feel like"
I also said, "remember when I asked you why we never hang out? and you said you would make an effort to change that? It hasnt changed....and that was two months ago." So now I've brought it up to him three times that I want to see him more. He knows that for sure....and he says that he wishes he could see me more too(but only when I bring it up first). I brought it up again lastnight and we got into a bit of an argument....him saying we're both busy ppl, and he can't just show up whenever bc of my son (he hasnt met him yet) I went over to his house lastnight bc I knew he was frustrated. I looked him right in the eye, asked him if he was ok. He changed the topic to his dog.....she's been really sick lately. Then he started talking about a number of different things(work etc) I feel like he's really scared to talk about his feelings. Before I left, I told him I don't want to see anybody else. He kissed me after I said this. I've done a lot of research on venus in cap so I knew that it meant something that he's still around, still texts everyday etc. Otherwise I would've been long gone months ago. I'm a newbie....just starting to learn about astrology, so I don't know if his venus is afflicted. But I know his moon falls in the 12th house....which i've read makes someone feel like nobody understands them and they can be very very afraid to show their feelings.
I'm gonna post his chart, maybe you can tell me if his venus is afflicted?
Also, I don't know his exact birth time, so I used 12pm  IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8654
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 31, 2012 02:12 AM
It's actually not, it's the Sun afflicted by Saturn, as well as Mars conj Saturn. The Sun/Saturn sq can create issues around responsibility/authority and def suggests that he needs to work on his self esteem esp if an authority figure dropped the ball when he was young. With Mars conj Saturn he's not keen to shirk his responsibilities, and typically men with that combo like to keep themselves in check and follow proper guidelines. Sometimes they like to make obstacles where there are none, to make things harder than they have to be, feel easily weighed down. The fact that he brought up that he can't drop by on account of your son doesn't seem right to me, because he could always schedule time with you if I'm reading you correctly. He could be feeling sorry for himself on that issue. The changing the topic isn't a good sign, there's something that he wants to address but doesn't feel comfortable in doing so; I think you read right and that it's fear. Also Saturn is coming up to conj his Pluto and sq his Merc, if he's inclined to pessimism that might be amped up in the near future, also Merc/Pluto is inclined to be secretive, and at worst, manipulative. How does he react when you try to schedule time with him, the comment about being busy or about your son? I'm sorry but something doesn't seem right here, the making excuses about not being able to spend time with you is what I don't like. He could be genuinely sh!t scared of you, and of intimacy (distinct possibility) but he could also be messing with you (hope not). I just hope the crumbs of affection aren't his way of keeping you tied to him.IP: Logged |
flowerpower
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted September 02, 2012 09:42 AM
I know just a little of astrology, but from my experience and from what I have researched, venus in capricorn has very high standards in terms of partners and commitment. They are not in a hurry to be in a relationship and they know exactly what kind of person they want.I dont want to intrude somebody else's thread, and I am reading it because I sympathize with the whole situation. I guess most women have been there. But I would like to ask a question about the chart. Lonake does the uranus in sag in the 7th house plays any part in this ? Perhaps a weaker influence than the aspects ? Would it mean just the need of more freedom in relationships or avoiding to be in "formal" committed relationships ? IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8654
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 02, 2012 12:25 PM
It seems the OP doesn't know his tob so she used noon.
But in general it would be v.much desirous of their freedom, their space to roam around. They need v.long leashes, or better yet no leash at all. Just the knowledge that they have room to move around is enough; they may or may not roam far but they need the feeling or at least the illusion of it. It's up to the native how that'd be defined, probably in some area there'd have to be a "no questions asked" where they can just jet off as it suits them. And they might relate better to an adventurous partner, one who had a deep desire to enrich their mind. Relating becomes about learning and expansion, breaking free of societal mental constraints, things that are drummed into your head as a child in school.IP: Logged |
ellerassasomba
Knowflake Posts: 28
From: St Petersburg, FL
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted September 02, 2012 12:48 PM
They are serious about relationships and don't appreciate immature fforms of relatingIP: Logged |
flowerpower
Knowflake Posts: 72
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted September 02, 2012 01:38 PM
Thanks Lonake.
Sounds a bit intense...IP: Logged |
konableim
Newflake Posts: 21
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted September 02, 2012 11:53 PM
Thank you everyone for your input. I'm beginning to lose hope....it seems to me like he has so many contradictions in his chart. I am not the type of person to have an open relationship or anything like that....he doesnt seem like the type either. Although he has told me he never wants to get married. But I guess uranus in the 7th would explain only seeing eachother once a week. Maybe I'll ask him if he knows what time he was born. Anyone know more info about moon in the 12th house? I think that would explain why he has never told me he likes me etc...maybe he's afraid? IP: Logged |
AriesKat
Knowflake Posts: 149
From: Brooklyn, NY USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted September 03, 2012 01:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by konableim:
Thank you everyone for your input. I'm beginning to lose hope....it seems to me like he has so many contradictions in his chart. I am not the type of person to have an open relationship or anything like that....he doesnt seem like the type either. Although he has told me he never wants to get married. But I guess uranus in the 7th would explain only seeing eachother once a week. Maybe I'll ask him if he knows what time he was born. Anyone know more info about moon in the 12th house? I think that would explain why he has never told me he likes me etc...maybe he's afraid?
I have my moon in 12th. I don't have a problem telling someone I like them if I'm sure how they feel about me. But emotions and showing my vulnerability is hard for me I don't like people seeing me weak or trying to take advantage. But I do open up sometimes with some people.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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