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Author Topic:   12th house heavy and an inability to read my own stars honestly?
JourneysRoar
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Holly Hill, FL USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 29, 2015 08:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for JourneysRoar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So yes, I have a heavy 12th house. I am a Leo rising, Mercury conjunct asc 1st house. I have a Cancer Sun, and Mars is cazimi by 8 min. I also have a Leo Moon in the 12th. I find it difficult to read my chart as a whole. I understand my placements, but when it comes to summarizing it as a whole I just can't...it's as if it is veiled to me...somewhat mysterious. To me my chart has a fated feal to it, but I can't open the secrets. Is this b/c of my 12th? I mean my identity, emotions, and action/force is locked in a house of depth, and illusion...Neptune is the rightful owner correct? I've read the cookbook interpretations...but I refuse to believe the doom and gloom my chart holds. Anyone with a heavy 12th? Do you have this dilemma? I love astrology, I've dabbled here and there in it for almost two years...and I get so upset that I still can't read my chart without bias. Everytime I read mine or my kids, these fears crop up b/c of what I see and then I try to forget about it, go on doing something else....but then I get curious again and find myself digging for more trying unravel the knots so to speak, lol. Sorry if I rambled....this has been on my mind for soo long and I finally feel like I can't bounce this around in only my head anymore, I have to release it somehow, lol. Thanks for reading, heaps of thanks!

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 10:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Put your chart up. I am super busy with professional charts but I will try to help. use the Astro,com style please. Also, I am super honest, so please don't ask if you don't want to hear my honest opinion

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JourneysRoar
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Holly Hill, FL USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 29, 2015 10:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for JourneysRoar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Ami! Honesty is appreciated, I can respect that!


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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good. You are my kind of person

Let's see what I see.

This may be a problem. You have a lot of drive BUT it may feel as if you cannot release it, like make it get out there and do it's thing.

If so, this is not your fault but the combust of Mars and the Sun in the 12th.

You want to shine, as we all do, but it may feel very hard to put yourself out there.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NN conj the MC

I have never seen this. You have a purpose which is very much part of your career and/or your place in society, such as a Kate Middleton. By this, I mean that part of her purpose is to be known by the general society and yours is the same kind of thing. Your general society may not be the world stage, as is hers, but it will be YOUR stage in your particular social sphere.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pluto in the 3rd.

You are not afraid to speak your mind and you can talk in an honest way, as we are lol

This is a nice trait.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your early home may have been hard. Your mother may have felt unstable to you. You may have felt as if your home was cold, too.

Your SN here may have shown that your home was a comfort zone for you, too.

Can you explain. I have never seen SN conj the IC.

I am not sure if you know AStro terms. If not, forget the Astro explanation and just explain with normal words, so to speak lol

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Venus in Gemini. You are a flirt like I am. I am a Venus in Gemini but we are really all about fun, not sultry flirting

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Commitment when in love may be very hard due to the Venus opposition with Uranus. Your early home and the lack of safety you may have felt may make it hard for you to feel as if you want to be in a committed relationship.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 02:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The Moon in the 12th reflects a theme I see in that you WANT to put yourself out there. You are a Leo Moon and all about SHINING. However, the 12th house makes you hold back for fear of rejection.

The same Theme may be seen in the Sun/Mars combust( less than 5 degrees conjunction)

You want to put your goals out there. You want to assert yourself. You want to put your passions out there and you have them very much but the ACTUAL putting them forward into the world is very, very hard.

That is how I see the nature of the 12th House

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JourneysRoar
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Holly Hill, FL USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 29, 2015 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JourneysRoar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This may be a problem. You have a lot of drive BUT it may feel as if you cannot release it, like make it get out there and do it's thing.
If so, this is not your fault but the combust of Mars and the Sun in the 12th.
You want to shine, as we all do, but it may feel very hard to put yourself out there.

This is VERY much an issue for me! I struggle with asserting myself and who I truly am for fear of rejection, and disappointment...I am my harshest critic....and boy can I do a magnificent job of beating myself up! In hindsight, I know I have a purpose...something significant to offer the world...no matter how big or small my world is, it's in me...something grand, I just have to learn to trust myself and accept that not everyone will agree or approve! And that's OK! I'm learning that being everyone's cup of tea is just nonsensical and quite boring, AND extremely draining!

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JourneysRoar
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Holly Hill, FL USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 29, 2015 03:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JourneysRoar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NN conj the MC

I have never seen this. You have a purpose which is very much part of your career and/or your place in society, such as a Kate Middleton. By this, I mean that part of her purpose is to be known by the general society and yours is the same kind of thing. Your general society may not be the world stage, as is hers, but it will be YOUR stage in your particular social sphere.

I can never find anything good on this placement, lol. Your take on this is interesting! I'd like to think b/c it is in taurus that it will be for a very venusian earthy purpose...spreading boundless love like a darn hippie, lol. I am a humanitarian to the core. I love people...everyone! Gender, color, creed...if you offer kindness and respect, I will give it back in heaps and bounds. I often have visions and dreams of growing edible gardens anywhere that roots will take to the ground, lol. I giggle at myself sometimes, b/c feeding someone hungry or offering something I am more privilaged to have...makes me feel like...well Jupiter LOL. I can feel my spirit grow...I feel amplified, bursting with satisfaction! And it took me so long to write this b/c I feared what someone else would think....my 12th kicks my butt!

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JourneysRoar
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Holly Hill, FL USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 29, 2015 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JourneysRoar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pluto in the 3rd.
You are not afraid to speak your mind and you can talk in an honest way, as we are lol
This is a nice trait.

YES!!! I have no issue speaking my mind, and sometimes to a fault. Honesty is imo, one of the kindest things a person can offer another. It may taste like heck going down, but I will still have respect for them...even through the pain or frustration! I quite like that placement, lol.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by JourneysRoar:
NN conj the MC

I have never seen this. You have a purpose which is very much part of your career and/or your place in society, such as a Kate Middleton. By this, I mean that part of her purpose is to be known by the general society and yours is the same kind of thing. Your general society may not be the world stage, as is hers, but it will be YOUR stage in your particular social sphere.

I can never find anything good on this placement, lol. Your take on this is interesting! I'd like to think b/c it is in taurus that it will be for a very venusian earthy purpose...spreading boundless love like a darn hippie, lol. I am a humanitarian to the core. I love people...everyone! Gender, color, creed...if you offer kindness and respect, I will give it back in heaps and bounds. I often have visions and dreams of growing edible gardens anywhere that roots will take to the ground, lol. I giggle at myself sometimes, b/c feeding someone hungry or offering something I am more privilaged to have...makes me feel like...well Jupiter LOL. I can feel my spirit grow...I feel amplified, bursting with satisfaction! And it took me so long to write this b/c I feared what someone else would think....my 12th kicks my butt!



I have an organic garden!

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 04:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am so glad you could speak your truth, a little. I hope you stay here at LL and learn more and more and speak more and more

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JourneysRoar
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Holly Hill, FL USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 29, 2015 09:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JourneysRoar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm so sorry Ami, my toddlers woke up from their naps and this is the first down time I've had since, lol...busy busy around here. Please forgive me for not completing my responses.

You mentioned my nodes placements, and my sn/IC conjunction as somewhat being contradictory of each other. My childhood was sort of two sides of a coin, if that makes sense at all. My parent argued often amd my mother was combative. It was chaos but at the same time, I was loved and cared for. My mom and dad split when I was 4-5ish and my mom took me with her. My dad searched for us for a few weeks, found out where we were staying and showed up to find me home alone, no food or clean clothes. My dad found my mom at the bar, told her he was taking me home until she could figure herself out. She hugged and kissed me, and said she'd see me in a few weeks. I didn't see her again until the day my dad died when I was 7. I'll never forget how blunt and cold she was when she told me my dad passed...she just said he's never coming home again. Cried and wallowed in her self pitty and moved another man in my dads house after a few months. My dad passing was the start of so many hard, traumatic years. My stepdad beat her regularly, I have an older sister who moved with my grandma after my dad died (Not my dads biological child, but he raised her as his own)...so it was just me. I felt abndoned so to speak, everyone good in my life was gone. My mom wouldn't let me around my paternal family, she kept me from my sister and my maternal grandma as well. I was living in her hell, and she wouldn't let me out all b/c of a measly ss death benefit she recieved from my dads accident for me. So, in general one half of my childhood was far more comforting and safe than the other.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 62644
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 29, 2015 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am sorry, J.

All this will show up in your chart. It gives me peace to know that God made us. He understands. He knows and He is love, most especially, even if WE don't understand.

I am talking from a place of my own pain.

My mother molested me, so you know that I am not talking cheaply.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 53454
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 30, 2015 11:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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