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Author Topic:   Obsession, strong disharmony and discord, attraction between me and my boss -synastry
viiv28
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Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 27, 2014 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello everyone! I have a very intense and dramatic relationship with my boss. We do not get along well at all, he practically fired me, yet I can feel he is attracted to me. And even after he fired me, he keeps talking a lot to me and provoking me, seeking my attention, helping me and so on.
Of course nothing has ever happened between us, or will ever happen, but it is just a curious relationship. He also seems to care very much about the two other female colleagues, is super nice to them, protective of them, to me he is very mean (especially with the getting fired stuff, but we had many conflicts), yet (call me crazy) in my gut I can feel he is attracted to me. For example, he always sits next to me in gatherings, and while it always looks like by chance, it cannot be by chance every single time. Also at gatherings he always brings me a glass of wine/champagne and no one else. On the other hand he had offended me and my skills multiple times, and fired me and so on.

Here is the chart. I do not know his birth time, only his birth place and have taken 12 noon.

I am in red he is in blue

What do you guys think? What causes this weird relationship between us? How to make things more harmonious between us, how can I appeal to him, as I really need him to unfire me, or at least be on my side with recommendations and so on. And at the same time, I do not want things of sexual nature to happen, I want to appeal to his "father" side.

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 29, 2014 10:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can someone comment, please? I am really very curious. I see that the majority of the aspects are oppositions and squares, which perhaps is the cause for such discord. But do not see anything that could cause the attraction ...

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KarmicMoon
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Posts: 368
From: Moon, Milky Way
Registered: Feb 2014

posted July 29, 2014 11:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
His Uranus, Pluto and Mars square your Venus. Thats a lot of attractive energy there. What are the orbs? Pluto and Uranus trine Sun. Venus cj IC. Sun cj AC. Venus oppose Sun and sq Moon. I wonder what BML, asteroid Karma and Lust are doing. In my experience, squares and oppositions create the most energy.

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 29, 2014 01:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, THANK YOU so much for your answer. Here are some of the orbs
squares
1. my venus
pluto venus is 0' deg 52
uranis venus 1.59
saturn venus 4.02
mars venus 7.4

2. oppositions to my venus
north node venus 0.43
jupiter venus 2.04
sun venus 4.34

Not sure about those Karma and Lust can you please tell me how can I see them in astro.com?
thank you very much again. Also do you have any idea how can I deal with him in order to resolve this super stressful situation without giving any sexual green lights? How can I solve the conflict and prevent the getting fired?

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KarmicMoon
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Posts: 368
From: Moon, Milky Way
Registered: Feb 2014

posted July 29, 2014 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That is a real wallop to your poor Venus. You can find those asteriods on Astro. Choose Lilith from the drop down menu. For asteriods, you need to list the numbers in the bottom box. Karma is 3811 and Lust is 4386.

I'm sure he is very fascinated with you. It's hard to say how to resolve the situation when I don't know the circumstances. Why do you want to work there if he is so mean and weird towards you? I'll try to help but I am not the most experienced reader on here.

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
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posted July 29, 2014 10:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow!

Is there thirteen years between you?

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 30, 2014 04:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi thanks so much for your help. I need to stay here for another half a year and I need to finish what I am doing so badly that I am currently working without getting paid, because this is not a job in the true sense of the word, but an academic position. He is my supervisor and I will depend on him for the early parts of my career, that is why I am trying to improve the relationship between us and resolve the conflict.

We are more than 15 years apart.


I am also interested how he affects me careerwise?

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 30, 2014 07:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I also want to add, that I have felt something plutonian in him for a long time, I had in the past a very life changing relationship with a scorpio man, and had felt there the Pluto very strongly, and with my boss I felt this as well. However i checked his chart many times and did not see much Pluto in it. So perhaps what I am feeling is his Pluto squaring my venus?

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KarmicMoon
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From: Moon, Milky Way
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posted July 30, 2014 07:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What you are feeling is his Pluto conjunct his ASC. Is this an accurate birth time?

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 30, 2014 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No, I tool 12 o'clock, but know from him that he was born somewhere in the morning so before 12.

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KarmicMoon
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Posts: 368
From: Moon, Milky Way
Registered: Feb 2014

posted July 30, 2014 08:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It is probably the Mars/Pluto/Uranus conjunction that you feel. That is not a great placement in my opinion. It is squaring his Sun, too. It can make a person very angry and impatient and all that energy is square to your Venus. It has to be that, otherwise with stellium in Gemini and Moon in Libra he would be pretty easy going I would think. Your Mars is also conjunct his BML. That could cause tension. Your Venus is also tightly conjunct his SN. Could be past life karma here.

You won't win in a fight with him. He will not back down. Can you apologize to him, regardless of whether or not you believe you were at fault? Does it seem he wants to punish you because he is attracted to you and you are not interested? Has he sexually harrassed you?

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viiv28
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Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 30, 2014 12:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Karmic Moon ! He has not sexually harassed me, but has emotionally harassed me and has done me very wrong professionally.
We also have had professional conflict, where I had disagreed with him and so on.

He has also expressed many times that he considers me attractive and also I can feel that he is attracted to me. It is very schizophrenic situation because on one side he is much more interested in me than in the other colleagues and on another side much more ruthless and merciless and cruel towards me.
He had never made advances at me, but I always act in a very cold way so that I do not allow any thought in this direction.
I will try to be submissive it had been difficult for me to cave in the past, now I have thrown all my pride away and am very focused on getting my goal accomplished.

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 30, 2014 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting you use the term 'submissive'. I asked because your JUPITER-SATURN in Libra, and his PLUTO-URANUS in Virgo reminded me of my dominant; we're 13.5 years apart, which is why I asked.

The effect he had upon me initially was disconcerting. It's as if my world was trembling; my personal paradigm shifting to the point of tearing apart all around me.

Like you, his PLUTO conjuncts my VENUS; that's a hard aspect, like your synastric square. This man is definitely in my life for karmic reasons -- and then some. The biggest point has been deep transformation and clearing outworn patterns.

I also find the MARS-BML curious; his MARS is on my BML-SUN-PLUTO. Anytime someone has pushed me to submit to their authority -- no matter what it was -- I pushed back. HARD.

I should also make a crucial distinction here. He slowly chipped away at my reservations, winning me over through trust, compassion, consideration, and maintaining an oddly steely composure throughout. Despite feeling pushed to explore my boundaries -- and push them -- I felt safe. It was only my ego that was being stripped away -- and just the parts that react with a kind of gut-level 'you can't MAKE me!' which is Lilith's battle cry, and I am VERY much a Lilith figure.

It sounds like a complicated situation, and your former boss lacks the emotional maturity to handle it. Though, frankly, if my dominant and I'd denied the transformative forces stirring the surface from deep within, I can't say how we would've fared. I think it's likely it would have been a powerfully regretted failed opportunity, rather than outbursts of violence.

When the SNODE is involved as it is with your synastry, there are things needing to be sorted. Karmically. Have you contemplated what they might be?

Also, could you add in the Lilith from the drop down, as well as LILITH 1181 and PRIAPUS (h22)?

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KarmicMoon
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Posts: 368
From: Moon, Milky Way
Registered: Feb 2014

posted July 30, 2014 01:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Now I see it. This is why I am not the best reader here. I have to look at charts, then put it away, then come back to it before I get the whole picture. I wish synastry charts showed degrees!

He has a t-square Pluto-uranus-mars oppose Saturn square Sun/Mercury/Node. Your Venus is at the recieving end of all that! Not sure what the orbs are but still looks bad. Add to that Mars cj BML and Saturn cj Moon. With Mars and BML neither will want to back down. You have some contacts with asteroid Karma plus the Venus/SN contact, likely some karmic debt.

Be very careful dear. I didn't mean to imply that you should do anything that makes you uncomfortable or would lead him on (that would be playing with fire) I just don't see this guy backing down from anything with you. Maybe you will need to stuff your pride a little, but again be careful! Not to be over dramatic but I get a bad vibe. Can you try to be transfered? Don't suppose he would like it if you went over his head?

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viiv28
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Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 30, 2014 01:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, IndigoDrae, very interesting post. We are 15.5 years apart. I am using the term submissive, because on an energy level this is what gives the best results unfortunately.

He has not however tried to win anything with anything. So I think every aspect can have different manifestation, depending on the people involved. Yours is perhaps a more spiritual manifestation of such a dynamic, and someone beating/imprisoning someone else would be the lowest possible manifestation of such a dynamic.

What advice do you have for me?

As for karmic learning, I am not sure... to be honest.

Since I am not very experienced can you please clarify which lilith should i choose from the drop menu? I think Lilith is already there in the chart? Am I wrong?

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 30, 2014 01:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear Karmic Moon, it has been quite bad for quite some time. For me to transfer would be very difficult, because if I transfer in the same university, some professor has to agree to be in conflict with mine, and otherwise I have to change professors cities topics, without recommendation from mine, throwing 3 years to the wind.
For me the best thing would be to make it with him. But for that I need to get him on my side.

What does exactly T-cross mean?

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 30, 2014 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by viiv28:
Hi, IndigoDrae, very interesting post. We are 15.5 years apart. I am using the term submissive, because on an energy level this is what gives the best results unfortunately.

He has not however tried to win anything with anything. So I think every aspect can have different manifestation, depending on the people involved. Yours is perhaps a more spiritual manifestation of such a dynamic, and someone beating/imprisoning someone else would be the lowest possible manifestation of such a dynamic.

What advice do you have for me?

As for karmic learning, I am not sure... to be honest.

Since I am not very experienced can you please clarify which lilith should i choose from the drop menu? I think Lilith is already there in the chart? Am I wrong?


You're right; it's just PRIAPUS (h22) missing. I am intrigued if his is being hit.

I think he and I've been through the wringer many lifetimes before -- taking the low road, going the less evolved route. Hurting, manipulating, raging against, and abusing each other. And his NESSUS is even square my VENUS-ASC! But, again, I wonder ... had I never accepted the ego transmutation .... We'll never know. HE was always more evolved. But -- it could've been a problem nonetheless.

Where is this man's NESSUS? And your DEJANIRA (157)? When we're dealing with intense and abusive obsession -- we check those two.

A bully is NOT a dominant. Unfortunately, your boss sounds a bully to me. Question is -- why IS this in your life? What ARE you to learn?

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 30, 2014 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by viiv28:
Dear Karmic Moon, it has been quite bad for quite some time. For me to transfer would be very difficult, because if I transfer in the same university, some professor has to agree to be in conflict with mine, and otherwise I have to change professors cities topics, without recommendation from mine, throwing 3 years to the wind.
For me the best thing would be to make it with him. But for that I need to get him on my side.

What does exactly T-cross mean?


T-Squares are nasty, usually karmic sensitive things.

Okay. What's the story here? You said 'boss' but it sounds like you're in academia. I'm confused. What IS your professional relationship? Is he an advisor? Is he the prof you were working for as a grad student?

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KarmicMoon
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Posts: 368
From: Moon, Milky Way
Registered: Feb 2014

posted July 30, 2014 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarmicMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A t-square is when two or more planets are in opposition and then a third planet squares them. It creates the shape of a T in the chart. All the energies are struggling against each other. You'd probably see it better if you looked at just his natal chart.

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IndigoDirae
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From: Venice, California, US
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posted July 30, 2014 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good description.

His is definitely karmic, largely stemming from our conflict: MARS opposite MOON square MERCURY. All right there: rage/passion, emotion, and logic/mentality: 10H (status, public persona, possibly calling); 5H (passion, creativity, pleasure) and 8H (sex, transformation, death, others' resources.

Pretty much sums up the karma.

My SUN-PLUTO-BML hits his MARS, and opposes his MOON which is conjunct my PRIAPUS (vulnerability, submission, intense desire to merge); my NESSUS hits his MERC-DEJANIRA.

Oddly, that's just one part of it. But it's the part which he carried with him into his natal.

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 31, 2014 07:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes I checked his T square and indeed it is pronounced. He is not a simple person, not an easy going at all. He looks so on the surface.
Here is the chart with the added asteroids.

Actually now it is very exciting for me, because since the situation is so hard for sure it must be transformative for me in some way. And to be honest I love transformation.
What the situation has taught me so far is to really stand for what is important for me and minimize on the rest. There was a lot of clutter in my life and a lot of vanity and this now will have to disappear.
As with regard to lessons from this particular relationship between me and him I am really not sure.
IndigoDrae, you mention him as your dom, may I ask you do you mean it in an emotional energetic way, in a sexual way? To be honest the thought of submission scares me to the point claustrophobic and panic attacks.
Unless it is sexual, in sexual respect I really have no problems to surrender and let go, because I know that it is the submissive person, who is running the show and I enjoy it. But in all other ways it is a very very scary thought for me.
Are you an intuitive person, could you guess a person's ascendant from a picture?

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viiv28
Knowflake

Posts: 65
From: kaspichan
Registered: Jun 2014

posted August 01, 2014 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for viiv28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was reading some on such situations, and read that in the case of abuse and victim and dark relationships in general one should check asteroids Nessus and Dejanira. His nessus is in opposition to my Dejanira with the orbit of 2 degrees. Is opposition as bad as square? Does it literally mean abuse?
My Nessus has a trine to his chiron and no other aspect...

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