posted August 03, 2014 03:52 AM            

I have this with my partner. It took us a long time, and much honesty -- being very straightforward -- with each other, to develop any sort of sexual relationship. He never could tell when I was trying to show him my interest; it was either too subtle, too different from what he was expecting, or simply 'not getting through'.

The synastric aspects involving MARS will be quite revealing, as well as the disposition of his 12H, and the 12R.

posted August 05, 2014 03:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Your sexual messages are likely getting rather lost in a void. Do you ever feel that your 'action signal' wires are crossed?

I have this with my partner. It took us a long time, and much honesty -- being very straightforward -- with each other, to develop any sort of sexual relationship. He never could tell when I was trying to show him my interest; it was either too subtle, too different from what he was expecting, or simply 'not getting through'.

The synastric aspects involving MARS will be quite revealing, as well as the disposition of his 12H, and the 12R.

EDIT: flip that. It's MARS' actions which are being diffused and lost in the 12H. In this case, your boyfriend's rather than yours. I misread; sorry for that.

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posted August 05, 2014 08:35 PM            

Hmmm...

It works other way around for me, tbh. His Mars falls in my 12th, and we can't have enough of each other, and enjoy a very active (way more than average couples) and exciting sex life, where we are very comfortable in sharing our fantasies. I think his Mars brings out the hidden sexy vixen out of me, instead of ignoring my desires, and I haven't been so comfortable with anyone else.

But then again, his Mars is right between my Sun and Venus/Asc (close conjunctions, too), and we have a lot of Pluto DW's.

posted August 05, 2014 08:53 PM            

My 12th natal house is empty, Cancer on cusp. We have nothing 'hot' in our synastry, and his Mars doesn't aspect any personal planets of my chart. No idea what made him attracted to me to begin with, maybe some house ruler stuff. I don't know his birth time.

quote:

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Originally posted by Liliya:

But then again, his Mars is right between my Sun and Venus/Asc (close conjunctions, too), and we have a lot of Pluto DW's.

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posted August 05, 2014 09:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starrynight:
I never had a relationship like this but I had a curious case with a friend. Not a close one. We were at a wedding of our mutual friend, he got a little drunk and asked me out. I wondered why, we knew each other for a long time, and neither of us showed any interest. He said because he wanted me in a sexual way (drunk, remember? blunt). I was tipsy too and I remember blurting out something like, "how is it even possible for us to have sex?" while laughing. I was sorry about hurting his feelings later. It just slipped off my tongue. But those were my true feelings. It was like in my perception he didn't have a Mars to begin with. He was as much of a potential sexual partner in my eyes as a cat would be.

My 12th natal house is empty, Cancer on cusp. We have nothing 'hot' in our synastry, and his Mars doesn't aspect any personal planets of my chart. No idea what made him attracted to me to begin with, maybe some house ruler stuff. I don't know his birth time.

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posted August 06, 2014 08:25 AM              

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Synastry
I think you need something in Natal and/or some planets to activate it otherwise I could see it being smothered out by the 12th.

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I agree with that.

posted August 07, 2014 10:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I agree with that.

A man`s Mars in my 12th house WITHOUT synastry aspects gets lost in the fog.
With aspects though things might be different.

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My mars conjuncts his venus, conjunct his mercury and square his ascendant…. his mars only trines my mercury and quintiles my moon

So it's not the heaviest mars aspect, but it is something?

posted August 07, 2014 12:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I agree with that.

A man`s Mars in my 12th house WITHOUT synastry aspects gets lost in the fog.
With aspects though things might be different.

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My mars conjuncts his venus in 5th house and conjuncts his mercury in 5th house also… and square his ascendant

posted September 26, 2020 08:21 PM            

We had a lot of serendipitous moments during our time. It was a complete rollercoaster ride but in a good way. During that first sighting, I lost her in the crowd again, and we spend the next 2 hours looking for her. I gave up at one point. Then my friend told me to turn around and there she was, standing in front of me, grinning. Later on she told me, that she was gone because her friends wanted to leave, but she came back again to look for me! She introduced herself, we briefly danced and then she kissed me. We were making out for another hour, and the crowd kinda pushed us back and forth and it was like nothing and no one else existed in that moment! The alcohol did it’s part too, I wasn’t drunk but mildly intoxicated and the movement of the crowd, people gently pushing us back and forth, the loud music that receded into the background, and us being so close, two strangers, was just surreal. Whenever we kissed or had sex I could always completely lose myself in that moment. 12th house Mars in synastry is that amazing in my experience!

The problem was.. I wasn’t really into women, I just wanted her! The other problem was, she had a girlfriend at that time, I found out later, because she would always hide me, until I got suspicious. I broke it off. I couldn’t handle that. She begged me to stay, told me that she loved us both, that it was completely different with the other woman, but that confused me even more. So I went and she let me go. On a subconscious level, I maybe wanted to get out. I was 19, living at my parents, I would start college soon.. I just wasn’t ready for anything serious.. like I wanted to be with her really badly, I wanted the closeness, but the notion to actually have a girlfriend, was something else at that time, also her dishonesty, kinda shocked me. Other factors came in, she was already experimenting with drugs, some people she knew, kinda felt shady.. I was scared by that lifestyle at the time. I was also afraid to slip up, and I didn’t trust her anymore.

Many years later, we met again just by chance. I dated a man at that time and she was with someone else, too. From then on every couple of years, we would write just to catch up. I still find her beautiful and there’s always some sexual innuendo going on, though we haven’t acted on that since then.

I did have other same-sex encounters now and then, because I wanted to get this feeling back, and also because I of course was wondering if maybe I could be a lesbian or bi-sexual after all. But honestly it never felt like that ever again! I was also never attracted that much to another woman ever again. I checked our synastry and we have Eros/Juno/Lilith/Asc/Pluto conjunctions to our SN and NNs! Also Venus/Vertex, Moon trine Moon, my Moon in her 4th house, planets of her in my 8th. Lots of Saturn trines in Composite and comp Venus square comp NN in 8th house. It’s very karmic. I would say I loved her as a person! I loved her energy! I didn’t experience her as girl or boy! Biologically she was female, but I saw her as a being, as a soul. This is what I felt the most, when I was with her.
And being with her was so much better than any experience I had with boys at that time. Like she would do all kinds of romantic stuff, she would always call first, she was super flirty, throwing me on the bed, we would laugh so much, she also had this mysterious thing going on, where she would just show up and surprise me, sometimes just grabbing me from behind, pushing me against a wall, saying I love you and we would be really silly, then serious, kissing all the time, it was just so addictive! There was just a lot of depth in our interaction, a lot of closeness. When I would cry because of sth stupid, she would be there for me, I could let my puberty out in full swing, I could be embarrassing, it didn’t matter. She would always hold me. Guys our age back then just weren’t like that, at all! At least not the ones I knew, so this was sort of like a dream.

In retrospect I think I was super naive and self-centered. I kinda expected her to fulfill this romantic dream role for me. She did it because she enjoyed it too, but I don’t think I ever really had the chance to reciprocate that much. She always appeared so self-sufficient, even though we were the same age!! When I found out about the woman she was dating.. this woman was in her mid-30s! To a 19-year old that was ******* old!! I’m laughing now, because I am in my thirties now. Anyways we would talk about this years later, and I realized that they had a completely different dynamic. So I kind of understood that I didn’t know her that well after all, that there were parts in her she wouldn’t show me! That she too, kinda needed guidance and someone who took care of her, more like an adult, than some girl her age, with zero life-experience.

I read that Mars in 12th house can be very detrimental, because it triggers subconscious negativity. But if Mars is well aspected and there are other favorable aspects, it can heal us! And this is what happened to me! This experience, though it wasn’t all positive, actually opened me up, it tore my walls down, it made me less self-protected! Once you experience that kind of natural way of relating, something I never had with a man at that time, you want it back! I don’t play by the rules anymore, I try to relate to my sexual partners in a more open way,
I don’t feel that kind of opposition towards men, because I meet them on a human level first. I don’t expect to be offended or taken advantage of, for example. I don’t have the feeling that I need to be guarded. It’s like I’m always trying to recreate that feeling I had with her, and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t.

I’m also more sensitive and try to be less self-centered in love! Like with her.. how could I miss such an integral part of her personality? How could I not see that she was also kinda lost and didn’t want to be this charming, sexy thing all the time, that she too once in a while needed someone who would take care of her! I’m more aware now about not putting people in boxes but to always keep in mind, that everyone of us has different needs, that might completely contradict themselves. That a partner who appears strong all time, might have this side to him where he wants to let go of the control, but often times doesn’t know how to verbalize that. So one needs to be observant and not take everything for granted.