posted September 02, 2014 08:19 PM            

In a little under four months, we will have been together a year. We've been doing the long distance dating thing (albeit only three and a half hours apart, but nonetheless). Love has been easy--the relationship, hard. The distance is the factor. It hurts to be apart.

In January, we are contemplating I move to the same city. I am feeling confident about the move, as I make my own wherever I go and, as for us, we just seem to work; thus, I haven't paid a huge deal of attention beyond simple synastry/composite.

Me:

Him:

Synastry:

Composite:
(Another Composite put the ascendant at 1 degree Capricorn and not in Sagittarius. Not sure which to go by...)

Looking forward to fresh sets of eyes/interpretations. What stood out to me is that we have some really nice contacts (moon-Mars, jupiter-Juno, moon-Merc, IC-moon, sun-sun, Pluto-sun, asc-Pluto), some that will require work (Saturn squares, certain natal oppositions), and the composite hits a lot of personal points in my natal (my entire stellium in Cap, too)!

This really has been a defining relationship for me.

posted September 03, 2014 09:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Unfortunately relocated charts can't be saved :/

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Yeah, I just noticed that... Hmmm...

posted September 06, 2014 01:49 PM            

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posted January 21, 2015 10:51 PM            

I REALLY need help. I don't know what to think. I feel like every time I post something, it usually just falls to the bottom, despite my trying to be helpful and answer others' posts. I'm not expecting a full interpretation, just a second glance, y'know?

We've lived together a month. Have been dating for 13 months now. I don't know anymore. :-( I feel like I'm not going to get what I need out of this relationship. I'm a very tactile person. I need physical touch, and often. Sex is good, but I'm usually the initiator. Doesn't feel balanced. I need verbal affirmation. I don't seem to get it.

I've told him multiple times what I need. He has trouble expressing his affection, I think. Venus in retrograde. Or maybe composite mars in 12th? I feel starved for love. I could cry. ;-( I love him so much. I know he loves me a ton, too. But he only really opens up in the amount I NEED when he's drunk. Other than that, like I said, my love planets feels abandoned and gasping for air...

I'm going to see an energy healer/psychic/intuitive later this week. I need some clarity. I'm thinking I don't want to give up, but I can't change his nature. I can't demand something he is unable to give. We are really great friends, and we want to best for each other...

Physically, I'm just unfulfilled. Do I do it for him? Because I don't feel like he completely does it for me, if that makes sense...

Thanks for any help. Feeling very down and out about it. Don't want to give up, but not seeing changes despite my constant asking/heads up. Communication, sex, fun and leisure activities, all that is great.

posted January 21, 2015 11:15 PM            

My man seemed to have hard time accepting love or demonstrating love too. I think he had peregrine Venus in 2H. He would try to give me what I need though. Somehow he knew that. But when I see him in person, it seems like he's holding back a lot...?

Anyway, we did long distance too, for a half year but I knew we were fading and I felt he was just tagging me along so one day I decided to get a clear answer from him - are we in or are we out? He finally admitted that we should move on. I was sad but I got a clear closure so I'm okay now. I've moved on.

Astrology aside, if your partner can't give you what you need in a relationship, I think you have to be a little more selfish and decide what's best for yourself. You are obviously unsatisfied at the moment and we, Pisces need a lot of emotional support, understanding and demonstrating love. I get insecure too if I don't get those from my partner!! And you are right - you can't change him. He's a scorpio and he has to learn life with his own pace.

posted January 21, 2015 11:39 PM            

Sadly I see some things that indicate exactly what your saying in the composite.
That Pluto/Saturn conjunct square Venus in Composite, that's tough! I just ended a relationship with a pisces we had that aspect in synastry and we just couldn't get our need levels compatible. We had a lot of love and compassion but it's like we lived on different planets in the way we showed it.

Your comp has so much 12th house activity....a lot of feeling isolated, not being clear where you stand with each other and misunderstandings.

Then that Yod, Pluto/Neptune pointing at Chiron...Neptune is coming from the 12th house? Ugh.... that's a major focal point in your relationship and its pointing to Chiron? That sounds tough by itself but especially tough when one of the planets, Neptune (already a confusing, delusional energy) falls in the isolating, lonely, confusing 12th house.

posted January 21, 2015 11:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm so sorry, I always love your posts! I wish this was a happier time for you!

Sadly I see some things that indicate exactly what your saying in the composite.
That Pluto/Saturn conjunct square Venus in Composite, that's tough! I just ended a relationship with a pisces we had that aspect in synastry and we just couldn't get our need levels compatible. We had a lot of love and compassion but it's like we lived on different planets in the way we showed it.

Your comp has so much 12th house activity....a lot of feeling isolated, not being clear where you stand with each other and misunderstandings.

Then that Yod, pointing at Chiron...one planet in the Yod coming from a 12th house planet? A major focal point in your relationship is Chiron? That sounds tough by itself but especially when a planet in the isolating, lonely 12th house is involved in the Yod.

The passion from your comp(Pluto/Venus/Mars)chart is full of squares, conjunct Saturn or landing in your 12th house...passion is going to be hard to express or feel with those placements.

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Eeeek, I have the same Yod with a new guy I just started seeing... except that Neptune is in 1H, Pluto is in 11H and Chiron conj Dsc. I was thinking this is generational and it would be more of a healing type of union. Would you say this is a hard one to deal with?

posted January 22, 2015 12:04 AM            

Crazy we have a very similar composite. The YOD is hell. It's very transformative, but SO exhausting. It feels like a roller coaster. Emotional ups and downs. We'll work something out, be good, then SOMETHING ELSE comes up, and it's back to feeling like we are in therapy (which I DO see a counselor, by the way... Had a nasty divorce). Communication and maturity is a must, I'd say. Chiron YOD is so rough to navigate.

Gabby,
Thank you so much for taking the time. I really appreciate you taking the time to give some insight. Isolation is the perfect word. Intentions seem unclear. We can be in the same room and seem so disconnected. I feel like screaming, "JUST F-ing touch me!" Please!

All the twelfth house action also makes us a bit untrusting, even though we know the other isn't doing anything bad at all. We spend so much time together, there'd be no time, but it's that fog of the twelfth that makes it so.

And the YOD is hell. I'm tired of feeling like my relationship is therapy, highs followed by fallouts, lows, then making up. I feel good for a day or two because there was some sense of passion in the explosion of emotions, but then it quickly fades and it's back to that restricted feeling of passion/demonstrative love you mentioned.

posted January 22, 2015 12:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YellowGerbera:
Eeeek, I have the same Yod with a new guy I just started seeing... except that Neptune is in 1H, Pluto is in 11H and Chiron conj Dsc. I was thinking this is generational and it would be more of a healing type of union. Would you say this is a hard one to deal with?

Sorry IvASTRO for hijacking your thread...
You know your composite and my composite looks almost identical in shape! Crazy!

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It would be healing but anything that is Chiron focused is going to be a painful before it gets better.
A Yod is a focal point in a chart, when it's pointing at a planet or Chiron, your going to be put through trails that open up wounds that need to be healed, it will be painful before the healing.
How you guys handle it, pull together or turn on each other is up to you but no matter what the relationship will be pressing hard on your Chiron wounds.

I have an ex-love who's Chiron is on my DC, we loved so deeply but it seemed like everytime we felt the bliss of our feelings for each other someone or something happened that crushed us and tore us apart. We were each other's support and shoulder to cry on but eventually it just seemed like being near each other brought so much pain...we began to feel afraid to be to close to each other. It was so much drama.
We still to this day care so much but keep our physical distance, it's to much pain. We talk regularly but physical contact seems to bring situations that hurt more than we want to handle. We grew tired of always falling apart because of our feelings for each other.
That's kind of the way Chiron works, yes growth and healing came from the relationship, sooo much growth and healing but when does it end?
Sometimes you just need a break from the pain and if your relationships focal point is all about Chiron...it's doesn't seem to, it's such a tough placement.

posted January 22, 2015 12:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lvASTRO:
YellowGerbera,
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad that you were able to get the closure you needed. It is REALLY difficult. He wants me to let go, but yet he won't give up control. It's so damn hard. I'm hoping I can get the clarity I need, too. I have to make a decision soon, because every day I just feel more and more uncertain and saddened by it all.

Crazy we have a very similar composite. The YOD is hell. It's very transformative, but SO exhausting. It feels like a roller coaster. Emotional ups and downs. We'll work something out, be good, then SOMETHING ELSE comes up, and it's back to feeling like we are in therapy (which I DO see a counselor, by the way... Had a nasty divorce). Communication and maturity is a must, I'd say. Chiron YOD is so rough to navigate.

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Chiron is definitely tough to handle in charts for sure. I agree with you 100%. We have to be mature and strong enough to face it. Then we are on our way to healing. Until then, we won't find our peace and crumble under the pain.

posted January 22, 2015 12:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lvASTRO:
YellowGerbera,
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad that you were able to get the closure you needed. It is REALLY difficult. He wants me to let go, but yet he won't give up control. It's so damn hard. I'm hoping I can get the clarity I need, too. I have to make a decision soon, because every day I just feel more and more uncertain and saddened by it all.

Crazy we have a very similar composite. The YOD is hell. It's very transformative, but SO exhausting. It feels like a roller coaster. Emotional ups and downs. We'll work something out, be good, then SOMETHING ELSE comes up, and it's back to feeling like we are in therapy (which I DO see a counselor, by the way... Had a nasty divorce). Communication and maturity is a must, I'd say. Chiron YOD is so rough to navigate.

Gabby,
Thank you so much for taking the time. I really appreciate you taking the time to give some insight. Isolation is the perfect word. Intentions seem unclear. We can be in the same room and seem so disconnected. I feel like screaming, "JUST F-ing touch me!" Please!

All the twelfth house action also makes us a bit untrusting, even though we know the other isn't doing anything bad at all. We spend so much time together, there'd be no time, but it's that fog of the twelfth that makes it so.

And the YOD is hell. I'm tired of feeling like my relationship is therapy, highs followed by fallouts, lows, then making up. I feel good for a day or two because there was some sense of passion in the explosion of emotions, but then it quickly fades and it's back to that restricted feeling of passion/demonstrative love you mentioned.

I have a ton of soul searching to do.
You've always been so sweet. Thanks again, Gabby.

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Awe, I can't express how sorry I am!

What you describe is exactly what too much 12th house activity will cause. Yes, mistrust is another 12th house issue. The wanting to scream "just touch me" but can't because you feel so out of touch with each other and don't know what's going on, that's Mars in 12th.
12th is such an internally restrictive energy.

It's our fears that prevent us from getting our needs met, but for some reason we can't seem to break down the walls that prevent us from asking for what we need. There's nothing real there preventing us from screaming, "touch me" except those fears. Why do we let them win?
Who knows if you did scream that...maybe he would do it, maybe you'd get into fight and it would lead to passion or maybe it would cause further distance between you....that's the fear that prevents us from speaking up and asking for what we need isn't it. How can we deal with it if we make it worse by opening our mouths and asking for what we need?

Maybe you should try to speak up, squash the fear?? What do you have to lose, your already hurting so much, to much!

I'm sure you get sick of the feeling that your only purpose together is to drag up deep emotions that you'd rather leave covered, at least for a moment!
But Chiron isn't going to let you be, it leaves you so overwhelmed with it's pain it's like you cant breath.
I'm so sorry it has to be a part of your relationship. Hugs!

posted January 22, 2015 05:15 PM            

I find that when you need something you should give that thing and then it (sometimes) comes back to you.

Instead of saying "I need you to tell me you love me more" tell him you love him more. If you need him to touch you, touch him.

I've noticed that, for some strange reason, when a partner doesn't do/give something we want, we tend to withhold that very same thing from them too. Probably because we want to protect ourselves or something.

posted January 22, 2015 05:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LucieLemonade:
Ok. Let me just make a non-astrological suggestion. Since you've gotten great Astro feedback and I'm not experienced enough to look at composites.

I find that when you need something you should give that thing and then it (sometimes) comes back to you.

Instead of saying "I need you to tell me you love me more" tell him you love him more. If you need him to touch you, touch him.

I've noticed that, for some strange reason, when a partner doesn't do/give something we want, we tend to withhold that very same thing from them too. Probably because we want to protect ourselves or something.

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posted January 22, 2015 08:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LucieLemonade:
Ok. Let me just make a non-astrological suggestion. Since you've gotten great Astro feedback and I'm not experienced enough to look at composites.

I find that when you need something you should give that thing and then it (sometimes) comes back to you.

Instead of saying "I need you to tell me you love me more" tell him you love him more. If you need him to touch you, touch him.

I've noticed that, for some strange reason, when a partner doesn't do/give something we want, we tend to withhold that very same thing from them too. Probably because we want to protect ourselves or something.

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Thank you for the great advice! Seriously.
I do know that when I feel like I'm to getting physical affection, I withhold for the fear of being too needy/smothering. But really, it would solve the problem.

posted January 22, 2015 09:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LucieLemonade:
Ok. Let me just make a non-astrological suggestion. Since you've gotten great Astro feedback and I'm not experienced enough to look at composites.

I find that when you need something you should give that thing and then it (sometimes) comes back to you.

Instead of saying "I need you to tell me you love me more" tell him you love him more. If you need him to touch you, touch him.

I've noticed that, for some strange reason, when a partner doesn't do/give something we want, we tend to withhold that very same thing from them too. Probably because we want to protect ourselves or something.

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Great advice!!
If you don't mind is like to add....if he doesn't get at first, try not to take it personally just keep doing it. It takes time to build up the energy before it gets returned to you. It's like your building a bank account, your love and affection bank account...keep investing and eventually you will start seeing a return.

posted January 23, 2015 07:45 AM            

What I see is if one person starts shutting down then that will trigger the other to shut down and you end up in a negative spiral. One of you has to take the planets out of hiding.

Sure you'll be in the more vulnerable position because you are opening up to rejection. Just remember hurt hurts. It won't hurt more. I promise!

And Gabby is so right. If he doesn't respond right away don't take it personally. You're trying and that's all you can do at this point.

But I do understand what it feels like to not feel wanted. It's tough. This could just be a bandaid. You can only try your best. He'll have to do his part eventually. Hopefully it's just that he's not feeling 100% able to open up and not that he's like that.