posted December 08, 2014 09:44 PM            

Without telling much of what I really am wondering I would like to have any insights and thoughts about my chart and my ex-boyfriend's.
It was a very complicated relationship, on and off, I was unable to express my emotions as if I was completely blocked and he has always been very hard to read.
But what we shared, energy-wise and spiritualy changed us forever.
Its now over or so it seems, and because our relationship mostly occured on an uncouscious level, we both dont talk much. theres a lot that I wonder sometimes.
And a part of me despite all the good things somehow always saw him like a selfish, player and bad person but his behaviour could always be interprated in a different way.
Like mine for him. I realized.
its the problem when we dont talk much.

I look forward to your comments!!

posted December 08, 2014 09:52 PM            

my date of birth 1st december 1989 8:20pm

his date of birth 26th october 1990 around 4am

posted December 12, 2014 06:42 AM            

Could you please post an astro.com synastry?

posted December 12, 2014 07:40 AM            

How does the composite look like?

posted December 12, 2014 10:54 AM            

I wonder if we will see eachother again.

is it because of his mars retrograde?
or too much saturne influence in our charts ?

here's the composite chart:

posted December 12, 2014 12:31 PM            

I see no reason in his chart for him being passive. What do you mean by on and off? Is he single now?

The comp is not clickable.
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posted December 12, 2014 01:53 PM            

I'm pretty sure he's not dating anyone at the moment

I had a lot of dreams predicting things about him, a friend of his decribed him as someone who liked girls very much, in a horrible way to me, and I had a dream about this exact conversation before. but his friend also implied that everybody thought that I was seeing other people as well.
and this side of my ex-boyfriend, I never really knew if it was just an image like mine or real.
(I dont know if that makes sense)
and the fact that I dreams about many things connect it to a very emotional level inside of me.

Everytime we were stopping seeing eachother it was because he was too distant not giving any news, and every time there was a strong lesson behind.
this whole relationship was the representation of our spiritual awakening, we opened to love together, and being together was like growing spiritualy
like trying to understand a mystery together.

I was traveling by myself a lot as well at this time and everything... all my travels, the reasons behind etc.. connected to him.

I went away for my last trip which was supposed to be the longest just a bit after we went back together after a long time off and for the first time we were really together, we were showing our emotions we were having fun together and so on... and I left again... and he cried when I left (?!) and I wasnt supposed to come back after a few months but life decided otherwise and I had to come back 3 months after
we went back together but I was having a hard time personaly and I never ever express my emotions in front of anyone for this kind of stuff but I did with him... and we were planning on going on a trip together for the summer which is a big step for me and for him too but none of us really wanted to do it I knew it and he knew it, we wanted to be together but we were scared.
One day I burst into tears in front of him because my life was really difficult to handle, he had just finished at this time his exams and its like it was a burden for him he just wanted to enjoy his freedom for summer...
3 days after he calls me saying he was at the airport on his way to the place we were supposed to travel, he didnt wait for me nor he let me know... he was going with his friend (the one from the dream) to mix at a party there and didnt really seem to care if I was joining or not after.
and I got mad which I never do and his reaction was careless and not respectful at all and he eventualy said he needed some time apart.
mars entered scorpio at this moment, I had a dream about it before. we met also when mars entered scorpio two years before.
and my energy this summer was so violent and electrical that I somehow understand why we would needed to be apart but I cant forgive him because it was a difficult time for me and what he did was so cowardly and stupid.
we tlaked about it (because i asked him to of course) 2 months after (I could feel how sad he was during summer but he didnt give any news at all, he didnt apologize)
and he said he didnt understand himself why he did that he was feeling bad but he didnt do anything to actualy make up the situation he just kind of opened a door and asked me what I was thinking I said I never wanted to see him again because I wanted him to talk and do something for once which he didnt do.

ohh thats a bad sum up but its very hard to explain.
Maybe its too egocentrical to analyze things according to my own behaviour but when I dont give any news and when I leave the other person decide for me, its because I dont really care. and I knew that he loved me so im just puzzled....

Maybe im the one who is selfish after reading what I wrote... I feel like im super selfish haha