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Author
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Topic: What makes him want to dominate me?
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ikja
Knowflake Posts: 372
From: London, UK
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted December 24, 2014 10:34 PM
  
I've just started seeing this guy that I work with in an attempt to move on from my last failed relationship. I work with him, so although it is casual, it's quite stable because I see him mostly everyday and we text often. Initially, when we first met, I chased him somewhat and he says that I intrugued him with my sexual innuendos (ha!). We've slept together twice now, and it seems that I have awoken the beast within him. He now seems to be hell bent on dominating me (sexually) and showing me that he is 'the man'. He is only two years older than me, but loves to reiterate it to me at every opportunity. I can imagine that this is going to end up bugging the **** out of me. However, I am enjoying our connection. It may go further, but I've got a lot of things in my own life to get my head around.So anyway, what makes Mr. want to dominate me so badly? (I am the outer ring) also, his TOB is not exact as he doesn't know it (booooo!)  IP: Logged |
peony
Knowflake Posts: 48
From: U.S.
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted December 24, 2014 11:29 PM
Without TOB, can't comment on overlays or his Moon. His Saturn opposing your Sun would indicate he wants to have authority or control over you. He may act like a parent. Uranus, which is conjunct Saturn, is also opposing your Sun which magnifies will energy (as opposed to love energy) and the theme of dominance. He has a natal Sun square Uranus, so he's strong willed. He's a "dom." His Mars is conjunct your Moon which is intensely sexual and passionate, and his Pluto opposes your Venus. Pluto-Venus is also an intense and highly sexual contact in synastry, but it can also be about having power over the woman in his life. But, your Sun opposes his Saturn/Uranus, your Mars opposes his Sun, and your Moon and Mars are in Aries. You're not a submissive and you're not going to tolerate being the submissive in this relationship. If you're interested in something other than "vanilla" sex and are willing to be the submissive in a D/S relationship, fine. But, if not, and it looks like you're not, be prepared to do battle. IP: Logged |
ikja
Knowflake Posts: 372
From: London, UK
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted December 25, 2014 06:32 AM
Thanks for this peony.
Looks like there are ALOT of power plays in our synastry. To be honest, these have played out already lol and I got to a point where I just left him alone and then he came back.
The only thing I am scared about is the power plays turning violent. Do any of those aspects suggest violence or a violent relationship?IP: Logged |
peony
Knowflake Posts: 48
From: U.S.
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted December 25, 2014 03:44 PM
Ikja, in the synastry, you don't have a Mars-Pluto conjunction or hard aspect, which is associated with violence between people. But, it looks like in his natal chart, his Uranus-Saturn squares his Mars in fire signs. That is a highly volatile and violent combination. We don't have the Moon, which is what I'd be looking at to see if it's aspecting this configuration, but Uranus-Saturn trines his Venus. So, even though this is a harmonious aspect, the energies of the square to Mars could be directed towards women, particularly if the square remains unresolved. It may be that the square describes his father and he could have been subjected to violent abuse at his hands. It doesn't mean he will act out now. It depends on whether or not he's worked on himself, taken responsibility, and has received help. However, the violence is within him. I believe it can be overcome with awareness, self-control, and help from a wise teacher or psychotherapist. I don't know if he's come to terms with this. A way to know would be, if he was abused, whether he has worked this out both with his father and internally in his psyche. If he hasn't dealt with this or you don't know, and it were me, I'd be wary. I just checked again, his Sun doesn't square his Uranus, it's your Uranus, but that emphasizes the potential contest of wills. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 1862
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted December 26, 2014 01:04 AM
I think we need to define domination. Whenever we say 'sexual domination', it tends to imply a BDSM relationship. I've found that some interaspects can indicate such dynamics, but it's usually overlays. I've found that with my Dom, it's mostly our 8H/5H, 8H/12H, 2H/11H interplay. And, of course, PLUTO and SATURN's involvement with the luminaries and VENUS and MARS.As to whether it's a consensual domination dynamic or you're just dealing with a ruthless, controlling, self-centred and entitled man -- that remains to be seen. It's just important to draw the proper distinction, as they differ so wildly. Which do you feel he is? IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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