Even Venus conjunct Mars or Sun conjunct Moon do not guarantee that we’ll fall in love with the other person. The person may have a strong impact on us. However we will not view them in a romantic light unless they activate our 5th, 7th, or 8th houses in some way…. This can be done with overlays, symbolism matches, AND house ruler synastry. The secondary 5th, 7th, and 8th houses can work as well. Once these houses are activated for us in a synastry it turns on the POSSIBLILITY that view them as partner material. Houses in synastry show the context with which we view someone. We can have potent physical attraction aspects with someone and not really fall in love with them unless these houses are activated (there are a variety of ways this can be done). Physical attraction aspects seem to be ‘switched on’ by the presence of 5th, 7th, and 8th house activations.
There are a few exceptions to this rule. A person with planets conjunct our Vertex or Antivertex can switch on attractions aspects as well (sometimes). Planets on the equatorial Asc (East Point) or equatorial Dsc (West Point) in synastry can also do this (sometimes). Same thing with a person with planets strongly influencing our Juno (again sometimes). And Eros/Psyche can seem to switch on a little romantic fascination when they aspect each other in synastry but it doesn’t go very deep without the houses stuff.
People who we have Sun/Moon aspects with touch us on a deep level, we’re moved by them, and may admire them… However, we won’t see them as the right partner for us without 5th, 7th, or 8th houses connections. Same thing with Venus/Mars aspects. We may admire their style or think they’re beautiful on an objective level, and enjoy being around them. But if they don’t connect with our love houses they still don’t seem like partner material to us. The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses are what make a person seem like a suitable partner to us beyond mere physical attraction, and emotional connection. These houses show different aspects of our ‘type’.
Attraction can be unrequited when one partner has their love houses strongly influenced while the other doesn’t have them influenced very strongly at all. This can result in uneven attraction, or lack of mutuality.
Here’s the post I originally did on this topic.
quote:
Originally posted by Lotis White:
About unrequited love…From what I’ve noticed from lurking around at Lindaland, and just from life in general, it is quite common for aspects that are typically considered ‘romantic’ not to be felt mutually, and sometimes not even by one of the people involved. Perhaps there is an astrological reason for this that has not been discovered yet, or perhaps it has something to do with how house rulers aspect each other between charts, and what houses they fall in. There is no way to know for sure. What I do suspect is that in our life times we are fated to, or have the karma to, have certain kinds of relationships with the different people we cross paths with, and that the synastry we have with each person plays out according to connection we karmicly have to them. Like if you have a Venus/Pluto conjunction with your kung fu teacher, and you were only ever destined to be teacher and student, this conjunction may only be about him teaching you how to kill gracefully. But if you have a Venus/Pluto conjunction with someone, and you were fated to be romantically involved it may be about the strength of your attraction to each other. In the case of an unrequited attraction, one person may be fated to feel it as a strong physical attraction while the other is fated to be indifferent, or even repulsed by the other. There is no aspect that guarantees that you will be loved or not by someone else.
However once the relationship ‘type’ between two individuals is in place I’ve seen that the relationship usually plays out according to themes and issues shown in synastry. For example if you had Venus/Mars with your grandma she may hug and kiss you a lot, and give you lots of advice about relationships and romance, but certainly you are not attracted to your grandma. This is not to say that intense attraction is not common in the right situations with Venus/Mars aspects. It’s just that there is some unknown factor at work, where sometimes an aspect will function in distinctly romantic/sexual way between two people, sometimes with only one of the people, and sometimes with neither. However the energies of these two planets will still be present in the relationship but they may just function in a more platonic way. Like with positive Venus/Mars there may simply be a mutual appreciation of some type of art, or an ability to work in physical harmony. I once had a yoga instructor who had Mars opposite my Venus and I did really respect him and see him as a strong and confident person, but I didn’t have the hots for him, even though he was quite handsome.
Not that I’ve got my ramble about karma and fate etc of my chest I do what to take a look at some real and valid astrological reasons for why sometimes attractions can be lop-sided. The first reason is really basic and obvious. Hard aspects between a ‘male’ planet and a ‘female’ planet. Now the tricky part with this one is that sometime hard aspects simply point to an attraction being really intense and dramatic. There are other instances though where, usually the person with the ‘female’ planet, feels turned off by the person with the ‘male’ planet, who insists on pursuing them despite their objections.
The second, and I think most important, reason for unrequited love has to do with house overlays, and the relationships between house rulers in synastry.
House related synastry has a very powerful effect on how relationships play out. And is a very common reason why you can be attracted to someone with whom you have weak synastry, or not be attracted to someone with whom you have strong synastry. The houses most connected with attraction between the sexes are the 5th, 7th & 8th.
The Dsc relates to…
Affection/liking/completion/marriage/the most significant other in life/
The 5th relates to…
Romance/adoration/courtship/the glamour of falling in love/
The 8th relates to…
Intimacy/sex/power balance/emotional and psychological merging/
If someone else’s natal chart matches the symbolism of these houses in your chart then an attraction may occur even if the synastry is weak. If the symbolism of someone’s chart doesn't match the symbolism of these houses there is unlikely to be an attraction even if the synastry is strong. When I speak of symbolism matching I’m referring to house related synastry in three main ways. 1: Important planets in someone else’s chart fall into your the 5th, 7th or 8th houses. 2: The rulers of your 5th , 7th, or 8th houses strongly aspect important parts of the other persons chart (if it’s vise versa THEY are more likely to be attracted to you). 3: the signs prominent in connection with your 5th,7th or 8th houses show up strongly in the other persons chart. E.g. you have a Capricorn Dsc ruled by Saturn in Gemini, with Scorpio on the 5th house cusp, and Jupiter in Aquarius in the 8th… and then you wind up with Scorpio Sun with Venus in Capricorn, Moon in Gemini and Sagittarius rising… the signs and planets from the other persons chart match what is shown on your 5th, 7th and 8th houses.
For each of these houses (the 5th, 7th & 8th) check the sign on the cusp and its ruler by sign, house, and aspect, as well as what planets are within that house. People whose natal charts reflect the symbolism pertaining to these houses are the ones who resonate most with your notions of the ideal mate. This is especially true with the 7th house. Being an angular house, and the house specifically concerned with significant ‘one on one’ relationships, any connection with this house opens the door to the possibility of a long-term co-existence. The 5th and the 8th houses add to the core influence of the 7th in terms of preferences regarding what excites you about others initially, and what you need to feel close. If someone were to activate your 5th or your 8th without also connecting to the 7th in some way, they may be viewed as temporary ‘fun’ (the 5th), or as someone to help usher you through some intense experiences in life (the 8th), but the bond is unlikely to be lasting. When other peoples’ planets activate these houses either by falling in the house itself, or aspecting its ruler, they stimulate feelings in you related to the theme of that house. In terms of aspects to the house ruler, the conjunction is the most potent because there is both energy (aspect) and a symbolism (sign) fusion between the planet and the house ruler. The more important the conjuncting planet is in the partners chart the more significant the connection is.
Where the topic of unrequited love shows up in all of this is that if the are strong connections between someone else’s 5th, 7th and 8th houses and your natal chart they are very likely to be attracted to you. If your 5th, 7th and 8th houses do not also connect with their charts you may not reciprocate their feelings. And vise versa of course. Sometimes both charts connect in this way but one persons chart connects way more powerfully then the other one. In these cases the attraction might be mutual, but one person might be far more infatuated than the other one. If the charts of both people have a strong symbolism matches to each other involving the 5th, 7th and 8th houses then wonderful. This is when two people are much more likely to have a rich and fulfilling romantic relationship that goes both ways.
That being said, if the planet synastry is weak (and by weak, I mean no typical ‘romance’ aspects Sun/Moon, Venus/Mars, Moon/Mars, Venus/Uranus, Sun/Venus, and Venus/Pluto) and you do have an attraction only because of house related synastry, that attraction might always be mild as there is no planet on planet action to really get the juices flowing. Planet on planet synastry can move things from a mere appreciation to a deeper level of involvement. If you only have house overlays and house sign matches to go by there may not be enough ‘energy flow’ between you to get the relationship off the ground. On the other side of the fence, I do believe it is also possible for a really strong and potent (very tight orb) 'romance aspect' to create an attraction even if the house connections for romantic feelings (the 5th, 7th & 8th houses) are weak. In these cases, however, the reaction is likely to be that although you can see the person in question as having a certain appeal on a physical level, you may feel they are not you're type in terms of personality. Like you can see and appreciate their beauty but feel they are not right for you.
Basically, my point is that the most intense attractions are created by a combination of the right planet on planet aspects, with strong and mutual house symbolism connections for the 5th, 7th and 8th houses between peoples charts. An attraction based on house symbolism alone is mild and weak. But planet on planet ‘romance aspects’ aren’t enough to make someone feel as if they are your type without the relevant house connections. It’s a balancing act between these two factors. Good planet syanstry (typical romance aspects) is positive in any relationship but it may not have a sexual flavor unless two people’s house symbolisms connect in certain ways. If your partners 5th, 7th & 8th relate to your chart symbolically this will show how attracted to you they are likely to be.
Some other factors that I have noticed causing attraction, regardless of planet synastry, are hard aspects to the Vertex, especially the conjunction and opposition, and the partner's planets in the house symbolized by the Dsc sign. e.g. if you have an Aqua Dsc look at you 11th house to see if your partner has important planets in your 11th house, or if you have a Taurus Dsc look to see if your partners planets fall in you 2nd house etc. With regard to the nodes, connections to the south node represent the sheared past between you, and connections with the north node show how others help you grow forward.
Most recently I’ve been exploring the east point-west point axis, or the Equatorial Ascendant. I’ve been studying other astrologers work, and this axis seems to be connected to our idealized notions of how things should be and our personal biases. Where as the vertex is connected with a feeling of fatedness and synchronicity in relationships, the EP (east point) has to do with people who resonate with our personal preferences in some way. On a personal note I have was surprised to discover the quite a few of my most significant attractions had planets conjunct of oppose this axis. Going back to the subject of unrequited love, perhaps one person’s chart strongly aspects another persons Vertex and EP, While the other persons Vertex and EP remains untouched. An unrequited lover may think that It’s fate (the Vertex) that has brought a certain person into their life and feel that that person has many characteristics that resonate strongly with their personal preferences (the EP). Meanwhile, the other person in question feels none of these things with their unaspected Vertex and EP.
I’ve actually written several threads on this topic.
Lindaland
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posted March 06, 2015 05:03 AM
