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Author
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Topic: Will we ever reconcile?
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LullabyGal2
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 11:33 AM
  
Should I give up on him?I am at an advanced level in astrology, but don’t trust myself to be objective enough when it comes to the above question. I am sorry for jumping right into this forum with questions. Please help me out. I was in a 2 yr relationship that ended 3 months ago. During this time we fought about one thing only. His “friend”. She never wanted me with when they’d go out together and as a result they would sneak around which in turn caused enormous strain on our relationship. She knew this too and pulled some nasty tricks to try and break us up. Yes, I did try everything to make him see how this made me feel. He was well aware, believe me. I don’t understand the hold this woman has on him as she is so mean to him and he knows she only uses him for money yet put our otherwise happy relationship at risk for her. I think they might have had a falling out since I left him. She has a drinking and drug problem and I think there is something about that that he is very turned on by. I know he is attracted to her, but that it has not been sexual…yet. He has also become very close to a sleazy male friend of his with a violent temper. I can’t subject myself to verbal abuse from these two anymore. He never stood up for me and became furious when I finally stood up for myself. There can be no reconciliation until they are out of his life. Will this happen? Am I wasting my time and emotions hoping that things will work out in the months ahead? 2015 has been very rough for me due to all this. I struggle to sleep every night. My mom has had some limited friendly contact with him since the breakup. We’ve had no contact. It was VERY ugly and directly involved this man and woman (me knowing about their recent run ins with the law set them off big time). He and I are still fb friends, but don’t interact at all. She is no longer on his fb. Have no idea why not. I know he still spends a lot of time with the sleazy male friend and that his family don’t approve of that either. This was my first relationship in many many years and his first in years too. It was going well until I told him that he needs to stand up to this woman. When he did she ripped him a new one and has had it in for me ever since. I will share our transits for today as well as our Solar Return charts, composite and synastry. I’ve spend too much time studying it myself. I need fresh minds, eyes and opinions. We both have Uranus aspecting our personal planets. Neither one of us is marriage minded. I am a Scorpio Moon and I have to admit that his Aquarius Moon drives me up the wall. My questions again in a nutshell:
Will there be a reconciliation or should I give up? I am hoping that Venus Retrograde will help us.
Will the influence these friends have over him diminish? Thank you KnowFlakes! Our Synastry chart
Inner chart is mine  Mine horizontally
 My 2015 Solar Return   Composite
  My Transits 28 March 2015
[IMG][/IMG]  His transits 28 March 2015
[IMG]http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w19/hoping2bhappy/Charts/ His%20transits%2028March2015_zpsyafzkv4l.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w19/hoping2bhapp y/Charts/His%20transit%20aspects%2028March2015_zpsz5a2x32a.png[/IMG]
IP: Logged |
LullabyGal2
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 11:41 AM
Sorry for the charts not showing up in my original post. Am trying hard to figure it out now!IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 11:52 AM
Rather than read the background you've provided, I'm going to dive in with primary influences. SUN conjunct VESTA
URANUS conjunct JUPITER I'd have to study the synastry, but these are most pronounced, which carry into the composite somewhat. For you each, it's a 9H/11H vibe. This is inherently spiritual about broadening horizons and expanding view. It can also be about friendship and camaraderie at the most basic level. SUN conjunct VESTA is intriguing, as it shows a baseline devotional capacity. You each illuminate this ability or tendency within the other. At heart, I'd expect the two of you to inspire each other to take up causes important to you, and work to better the world and your societies through them. It shows a dedicated partnership with ideals based in advocacy, education, spirituality and fraternity on a grand scale. Now I'll read your background to see whether you were operating in alignment with your base synastric influences or not. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 12:00 PM
Well, I learnt nothing about your actual relationship from that post. Only that he sounds like a weak abuser who continually chooses several others over you -- including these two.It looks as if you might have his AQU MARS quindecile your VIR VENUS. If so, I empathise. That won't quite give up the sexual dynamics, if the aspect is in close enough orb. Instead you have to fight it harder. In short, should you give up on him? You already know the answer, you just don't like it. Hopefully the MARS/NNODE has taught you how to stand up for YOURSELF in all of this mess. If not, consider what binds you in this holding pattern. Welcome to LL and IA. I'll be your co-host, Aubyanne, with a sharp but well-meaning tongue, delivering truth bombs with a Scorpio stellium (including the MOON as well) and SAG MARS. Best to let the retrogrades give you perspective so that you can move on once they clear out, and let them take the rubbish with them. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 12:04 PM
Is the VENUS Retro in your SR? The current retro is SATURN, with VENUS turning direction in August, and does not appear to be doing so over your natal degree. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 12:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LullabyGal2:
Sorry for the charts not showing up in my original post. Am trying hard to figure it out now!
No worries. You got it; they're coming through. IP: Logged |
LullabyGal2
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 12:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
SUN conjunct VESTA is intriguing, as it shows a baseline devotional capacity. You each illuminate this ability or tendency within the other. At heart, I'd expect the two of you to inspire each other to take up causes important to you, and work to better the world and your societies through them. It shows a dedicated partnership with ideals based in advocacy, education, spirituality and fraternity on a grand scale.
This describes me rather than him. We literally grew up around the corner from each other and love this community enough to have come back to stay. I am involved in our community. He never was and says he is too selfish to really give of himself to others. I've had to learn to accept this as true. I think that is his Aquarius Moon at work too. He moved away again after all this.IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 01:33 PM
What sort of reconciliation are you hoping for? Peace? Or something more?IP: Logged |
LullabyGal2
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 01:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
What sort of reconciliation are you hoping for? Peace? Or something more?
Aubyanne, I have to be honest and tell you that I can't give an honest reply at this point. My emotions are still all over the place. I would like for him to just once acknowledge the hurt he has caused me. Yes, I realize most of us never get that in cases like this! I wish we could try again, but I won't unless these two are out of his life. The guy will be going abroad for a year towards the end of 2015. This can give him some perspective. My other condition is that he starts seeing a psychologist as I and others close to him have been urging him to do. Otherwise I realize nothing will change and I won't want to try again as it will be hopeless.I have heavy Saturn aspects in my natal to boot. Saturn in the 2nd square Sun, Mercury, Venus in the 5th. Saturn quincunx my 7th House Moon. As you can see from my current transits, Saturn is square my Sun, Mercury and Venus there too right now. I know I should be Zen about it and accept Saturn and all her hard lessons, but I feel so weighed down by it! I went through some very rough years when Pluto was in my 8th, but I actually love and respect it despite it all. I just can't bring myself to appreciate Saturn anymore.
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Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 03:50 PM
I honestly feel you're desperately clinging to the 'influences' of these two individuals in his life as a means to give him a pass. I say this due to your stating how she was responsible for his behaviour, and you can't foresee a genuine apology until they are out of his life.I urge you to look at the situation realistically. He has chosen to act the ways he has, and no one can be blamed for that behaviour but him. Having it all hinge upon influences you feel are removable from his life is a misdirection. First of all, he continues to keep them a part of it, and secondly, it distracts you from the pain you're really feeling from the fact that it sounds as if he's never truly given you your due, or what you feel you deserved in that two-year relationship. I can relate to that situation very deeply, in fact. Ultimately, we cannot make excuses for another if we wish to be honest with ourselves about a situation. Maybe it's time to let yourself feel the depth of the pain that comes from wasting a lot of time and energy in a bad relationship with someone who treated us poorly. Then you'll see these two don't even matter, and you can move on legitimately from him, as well as the sadness and disappointment. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 2908
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 28, 2015 03:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LullabyGal2:
I just can't bring myself to appreciate Saturn anymore.
I hear ya, sister.  IP: Logged |
LullabyGal2
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 04:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I urge you to look at the situation realistically. He has chosen to act the ways he has, and no one can be blamed for that behaviour but him.
AubyanneI agree he is the one who is most responsible at the end of the day. Believe me he never got a free pass from me on this. She however pretended to be a friend to me while working against me from the start. I feel stupid for not believing other women that warned me about her. I am upset cause I gave her the benefit of the doubt and not until 3 months ago did I confront her about it as I knew he had to be the one. Finally I spoke up and at first she lied and denied everything before breaking into a giggling fit and telling me she will never stop coming between us and that I had better accept it. I feel double betrayed.I am well aware of his flaws whereas he denies all hers. What influences can have someone so deeply in denial? Can only be Neptune as well as Pluto. Her Neptune is conj his Sun, square his ASC and conj his MC. IP: Logged |
Soltze
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 07:06 PM
I can't really answer on astrological level since most people here know a lot more than me. But I feel for you and honestly if he prefers his so called friends I would drop him. Yes you will suffer, but its not good right now either.
I wish you the best no matter what :-)(Hope you don't mind my opinion) IP: Logged |
LullabyGal2
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted March 28, 2015 08:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Soltze:
But I feel for you and honestly if he prefers his so called friends I would drop him. Yes you will suffer, but its not good right now either.
Hi Soltze. Thanks for your input. I've broken it off before but this is the longest I have gone no contact with him. If he had to call right now and ask to see me tomorrow I would say no. If I do let him back into my life is will be a very slow process. Seeing him once a month for the first couple of months would be enough for me. Couldn't handle more. I guess I am struggling with all this, because I know I don't have it in me to start another relationship. It was a miracle that I even allowed myself this one after almost 2 decades. I just can't do it again which is why I am so torn now. IP: Logged |
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