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Author Topic:   One sided soul connection/ recognition
ueharaa
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posted April 02, 2015 08:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been pondering this idea for a while.
here are a lot of theories out there on how to determine whether two people are somehow connected on a soul level. What I mean by this, is sort of kinship, deja vu, past life thing. But the point is it is not solely physical or mental or any other type of attraction. It doesn't have to be an "attraction" by the way.

Such "connection", if I may call them so, often are described as a two way street. Some even go as far as saying it is not one if it is not felt by both.
But is it really? Could such a thing as one person feeling the pull and the other simply not feeling at all exist?
If it did what would point to this in terms of marker?

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phlox
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posted April 02, 2015 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for phlox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You mean, like, cooking the rabbit of your soul mate's kid kind of one-sided?

Of course a lot of those one-sided connections exist, but I'm sure that part of the definition of soul-mate is that both people can feel it.

One-sided is simply delusion. Like, when you have a crush on a star and KNOW that you are made for each other. It's not always bad. There were times in my life when I felt emotionally numb, as if I'd never be able to fall in love again. To have a crush on someone can be quite a relief then.


The thing is: only because you feel it doesn't mean you act on it. Or even allow those feelings in your life. People are busy and a lot depends on timing. Like, your soul mate might be your married boss who tries to avoid bankruptcy. :P He might feel that there is a connection, but possible soul mates just aren't a priority right now.

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 08:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The very definition of unrequited love
I would first look in the natal chart, this is mostly related to some people being more prone to tolerate unrequited scenarios than others.

Of course, there is also the question of one-side crushes, being someone's "fan" so to speak.

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ueharaa
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posted April 03, 2015 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
do you mean then that both people must feel it but one chooses not to act on it?
I know those situations occur, mainly in a romantic context.
What I was referring to was more of an actual case of, you know, one person feeling something at a gut level towards the other person while the other just doesn't .

Leeloo, thank you I took a look at the thread and although it is in the particularcontext of people claiming their unrequited love to be their twinflame, the psychological factors that you cited are interesting.
I still maintain that what I am referring to isn't unrequited love. I know some link the two but to me it is quite different.
I know there are great threads out there explaining how unrequited love happens. Lotis White has explained the major role of house rulers and the theory of duads is also somehow valid. This and also taking into account the personal chart as personal disposition for this (although I do believe we all experience this one way or another)

as I said I am simply referring to a sort of gut feeling, level
I'm not sure I am being clear, but to me there are different type of "attraction/connection" between people
there is the "we get on well, have the same relating style etc" which is mostly shown by the tropical synastry. Nice venus/moon, venus/sun, and other personal planets aspects show this. Plates on angles, and angles/angles contacts emphasize this.
Then there are those people who just feel different, it could be a sudden realization upon meeting them or a slow one as you get to know them.
It is not necessarily karmic and you do not form significant relationship with them.It is not necessarily an attraction in and of itself, it could be just an odd feeling of comfort around someone you barely know.
But the point is: it stirs up something inside of you. Something that you can't help but acknowledge.

The reason why I ask this is because we've seen all the markers of prior soul contracts mainly in the context of already established synastry or when an attraction is present.
But what happens when the markers are there and most importantly the realization is there somehow for one of them but not the other person?

From a pure astrological point of view, do we dismiss the markers? Do we only consider them when they happen in a context that matters (ie both people having some sort of fondness for each other)?

Now from a solely metaphysical/ spiritual point of view, some believe that we form contracts prior to our incarnation, but once we have incarnated, free will is still operating. What f someone decides not to honor those? Is this scenario possible?

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 12:59 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You're raising a lot of interesting questions here, but I am trying to understand which scenario are you referring to.

One is a distant crush, "falling in love" or better said feeling an attraction "connection" with someone who doesn't know you. This is a wide spread phenomenon when it comes to some kind of celebcrush, for instance. I had celeb crushes myself. Some people who experience this kind of attraction believe the other "feels" them too. I don't think this is realistic.

The other is an unrequited love scenario: they know each other, one falls in love, they are attracted and want a relationship with the other, whilst the other doesn't reciprocate. EDIT: obviously, the one who doesn't reciprocate doesn't feel the same way as the other or, for various reasons (such as being already in a couple) has no interest in exploring any feelings with the other person.

Which one are you referring to?

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 01:05 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ueharaa:

From a pure astrological point of view, do we dismiss the markers? Do we only consider them when they happen in a context that matters (ie both people having some sort of fondness for each other)?

Now from a solely metaphysical/ spiritual point of view, some believe that we form contracts prior to our incarnation, but once we have incarnated, free will is still operating. What f someone decides not to honor those? Is this scenario possible?


Markers in relationships are mutual. In one-sided attractions, the markers are one-sided too

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ueharaa
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posted April 03, 2015 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
You're raising a lot of interesting questions here, but I am trying to understand which scenario are you referring to.

One is a distant crush, "falling in love" or better said feeling an attraction "connection" with someone who doesn't know you. This is a wide spread phenomenon when it comes to some kind of celebcrush, for instance. I had celeb crushes myself. Some people who experience this kind of attraction believe the other "feels" them too. I don't think this is realistic.

The other is an unrequited love scenario: they know each other, one falls in love, they are attracted and want a relationship with the other, whilst the other doesn't reciprocate. EDIT: obviously, the one who doesn't reciprocate doesn't feel the same way as the other or, for various reasons (such as being already in a couple) has no interest in exploring any feelings with the other person.

Which one are you referring to?


Like I said it doesn't have to be in the context of romantic feelings. It could be a friend, someone you've exchanged few words with, a teacher or else. I am having a hard time describing this.

The reason I am insisting on it being different is because upon reflecting on my own unrequited love scenario (what else would you expect from a moon-mercury conjunction person in capricorn, and on my 7th house cusp !) I came to distinguish various feelings:
- there is the attraction feeling, the thing that makes you infatuated etc..
-and then there is sth else entirely, i don't want to elaborate on it because I am still in a healing, releasing process, but it is very different from the usual attraction. It's on another wavelength
I thought such "reactions" could only find themselves explained by what I call "soul astrology" you know when we study the nodes, vertex, angle, saturn and karma and try to get the bigger picture of the draconic, tropical and sidereal chart put together. And I thought since we would be here talking about "soul contracts" or "past life" that it was necessarily reciprocal.

I am not sure I am making sense. I can be attracted to other people romantically and physically, but still not have that feeling with them.


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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 02:41 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I still didn't get if it's a DISTANT one sided crush (such as a teacher) or someone who knows you as a potential partner but doesn't reciprocate.

I think there's an important difference here.

To answer your question, I believe when one has a soul connection in this life, it will happen, you can't avoid karma.

Also, in my experience as an astrologer, many people who experience unrequited love find solace in karmic astrology, they are looking for a higher meaning behind the unpleasant experience, they come and ask the question: "Why can't I let go of this person? there must be some common karma involved" but the reason is found in the natal chart, not in a connection between the two souls.
Some people we see or meet are like "ghosts" (people who don't love us, but we are attracted and even obsessed with them) triggering our own issues we need to confront. They do play a role in our becoming so yes, in synastry, you will see how and where they touch your chart *and it's not mutual), but it's not about common karma, it's mostly about confronting our own shadow,or our own limits, becoming stronger and ready for true love. You will see, in synastry, how they touch these developmental issues for you.
I'm just speculating here, since I don't know what the specific example is here, but I perfectly understand you not wanting to share it, especially since you say you're going through a release process.

EDIT: for a soul contract to exist, the other has to acknowledge you, you have to be part of his life, he can't be someone for whom you don't exist or are part of the general population.

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ueharaa
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posted April 03, 2015 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think it matters in terms of the experience in itself whether it's a distant one or someone closer to you.

I can see what you mean, but I also see that you have your own point of view and beliefs and are not willing to consider something slightly different right ?

The thing is we can't study relationship astrology and pretend to be studying what links people to one another and focus only on relationships that do happen and work.
Although I do agree that there are people who take the attachment a bit too far, like those who believe this celebrity is their soulmate and such, and there are people who actually turn to a fantasy because they are afraid of reality, I still think that unrequited love is quite a widely spread out phenomenon not to be considered one that only happens to people plagued with love issues. Which is why I think in most cases, the natal chart has nothing to do with it. (edit: let alone that it often happens with one person which I find odd)
And haven't there been many poems and literature written because of love that couldn't be returned, love that couldn't be lived out? I really don't think this is some craziness that we can all oddly identify with.

Now as for a lot of people finding solace in karmic astrology, I still find it understandable and rather obvious. Of course people aren't going to turn to astrology if things are going well and they are in a relationship with someone they love. People are pushed to ask themselves questions when they come across the unexplainable, and they try to explain it using astrology.

I reckon my using of the term "soul contracts" wasn't adequate. What I meant here was mostly what we find using draconic astrology.

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ueharaa
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posted April 03, 2015 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had similar views, a while ago, about karma and how if there's karma to resolve, a relationship will happen to resolve, if you meet your soulmate/twinflame,then both of you will do whatever it takes to be with one another. It is written in the stars.

And the, I don't know why but the notion of free will came.
We can't deny it right? So why do we underestimate the power of choice?
And isn't who we chose to be with part of these choices?

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 03:59 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with this
A "relationship" is defined as a MUTUAL connection and interaction between people.

Those are not relationships, they are a personal, one-sided attachment or "fantasy". The other doesn't give a damn, and many times doesn't have a clue about the attachment, he is not thinking about me, the one having the crush, in his daily thoughts, so this is not a relationship, no.

And it's not about being "plagued", we ALL (or most of us) experience some sort of unrequited scenario at some point in our lives, it's a common, generalized experience. When this happens, you "man up" soon enough and move on to a real relationship, with mutual thoughts, feelings and actions.

But some people pay an EXCESSIVE attention to this kind of attachment, in terms of time and involvement. The difference is to be found in their own makeup, hence in their natal chart, where else??


It's very important to understand this, in order to avoid the waste of energy and time that always accompany one-sided attractions.

What other explanation do you see here? That the other is unaware of our destiny together? It's disrespectful towards the other person and a dangerous path towards at least "psychological stalking" and simply unrealistic.

It's what I was saying about Neptune, preferring the distorted illusion to reality, a dangerous path.

Maybe I'm missing the point here, so I'm asking in all seriousness, what other astrological scenario do you see here as explaining what you describe? A specific hypothetical example would help, thanks.


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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 04:02 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ueharaa:
I don't think it matters in terms of the experience in itself whether it's a distant one or someone closer to you.



This doesn't sound good to me. Of course it matters when it comes to our "feelings" for other people if they come from a realistic place or a place of illusion. It's not just the experience that matters....drugs are a pleasant and intense experience as well; one that leads to death.

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 04:05 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ueharaa:
I had similar views, a while ago, about karma and how if there's karma to resolve, a relationship will happen to resolve, if you meet your soulmate/twinflame,then both of you will do whatever it takes to be with one another. It is written in the stars.

And the, I don't know why but the notion of free will came.
We can't deny it right? So why do we underestimate the power of choice?
And isn't who we chose to be with part of these choices?


I think karma and the choice are aligned.

But as I was saying, some people are here to teach us a lesson through pain (and this is karma too), they are not here to love us.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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ueharaa
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posted April 03, 2015 04:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, look, first of all, we are not going to argue beliefs, that would be pointless.
Now, so I can at least clarify this, I am definitely not asking the question to find some unhealthy validation or whatever else. It is only hypothesis,scenario. I thought for once, we could consider another point of view on the case of "soul" attachment or whatever you want to call it, but not unrequited love because that latter subject has been covered many times over and over again.
Like I said, it is not all about romantic love !!!!!
I think it's important to mention here.
so no, the point is not to prove "we're meant to be but you don't see it" which would be borderline scary.

I only wanted to consider the possibility that sometimes you may feel an unexplainable feeling of comfort and deja vu(for lack of better word really) to someone who wouldn't feel the same.

And most unrequited love scenario happen in the context of a relationship, whether it be as friends, acquaintance or whatever else, there has been some real life interaction going on.

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 04:28 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK< I'll leave now the space for other people to post their opinions since I already intoxicated you with mine
But I think what you describe is perfectly possible, in fact quite common: someone, either a distant person or someone close, triggers that recognition/deja vue feeling. I have experienced it myself, a couple of times. If that person isn't actually part of your life, in some kind of relationship with you, I think this happens because they resemble someone important (usually from the future, someone you will meet). But this of course, is not an excuse to indulge in any kind of one-sided interest for too long, since life is too short and those who really matter are the ones who stand by you and love you every day.

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ueharaa
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posted April 03, 2015 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
I think karma and the choice are aligned.

But as I was saying, some people are here to teach us a lesson through pain (and this is karma too), they are not here to love us.


Wel that's intersting, I think that would have some quite heavy implications especially if one believes in past lives because then his choices wouldn't weight a lot compared to his karma.

but like I said this is all up to one's belief. And I do not think free will and karma are necessarily aligned or the same.

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LeeLoo2014
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posted April 03, 2015 04:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ueharaa:
Wel that's intersting, I think that would have some quite heavy implications especially if one believes in past lives because then his choices wouldn't weight a lot compared to his karma.

but like I said this is all up to one's belief. And I do not think free will and karma are necessarily aligned or the same.


It depends on what you see by karma, I usually use the word to define "current life path", destiny. I think our choices are in perfect tune with our destiny, you can take a more convoluted path or move in circles and some choices may delay things, but you will eventually align with your destiny. OR maybe everything is part of our destiny, delays included.
In terms of relationships, looking beyond visible behavior/interest/involvement for hidden meanings is always a mistake and a dead end, in my experience. What you see is what you get.

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Vajra
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posted April 03, 2015 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Vajra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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ueharaa
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posted April 08, 2015 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ueharaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes I think I worded it wrongly or expressed myself wrongly. It is a subject that can be confused with many others. But I really only meant a feeling of deja vu, that you already know someone. But the other person doesn't really feel so.I was not talking about feeling like you have a special connection with someone, with romantic feelings and that you believe you're meant to be.

I thought maybe those people are from your soul family or something along the lines.
And I thought for whatever karmic reasons, you feel it more than they do?

But those are just hypothesis.

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vansio
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posted July 20, 2022 06:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
bump

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Dhyana
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posted July 21, 2022 02:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dhyana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I may know what you're referring to. There's a third category, other than distant crush or unrequited love.

Here's a scenario. Both people recognize a past life connection. Although not a one sided soul connection, the matter of recognition is greater in one than the other. It's deeper than romantic love. It's about a recognition of the Light in each other. But, one chooses not to continue the relationship.

I think it depends on what we mean by "soul connection." What I mean is what I described as a recognition of the Light in the other, not the human soul, but the divine, infinite and eternal Being that we essentially are. And a soul connection by this definition cannot be one sided.

Furthermore, the personality doesn't always recognize what is known on a soul level.

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Randall
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posted August 03, 2022 01:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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