posted June 12, 2015 09:35 PM            

From the first couple of messages I could see that he wasn't a very good listener (or reading retainer, I guess) and he just seemed a little too young acting even though he is seven years older than me. So, as soon as he texted me and he said "Wanna trade pictures?", my first instinct was NO! I even texted back "I'm not really up for this, good luck out there." But he persisted and we kept talking.

Every day he says something that turns me off a little more, but he is a cool person. I can see being his friend, but romantically, no. He is just a little too shallow for my taste. I keep telling him "friends", but he doesn't seem to get it. I guess I kinda let a little "sweetheart talk" in though, because I am lonely and because I like him as a person.

We just don't have the basic things in common - we have different tastes (I'm more preppy/classic and he's trendy - he asked me if I shop at Forever 21 and I told him that I wouldn't be caught dead in Forever 21 and he said that he could "mold me" if we started dating). He also questions my choices on various things (I told him that I want a GMC Acadia as my next car, I currently drive a Nissan Murano and want something a little bigger, and he said "Why? Why an Acadia?", with a laugh. He drives a BMW sports turbo thing, so he doesn't get the need for a big car. "I go on a lot of road trips" I answer, because, yeah, I put a ton of miles on a car and I like a big one to hold all of my gear/equipment. He says "Why don't you just rent a car?" BECAUSE I DON'T FREAKIN' WANT TO!!! It's like he's a little kid too, because we have had this conversation more than once with me saying the same thing. He's seriously annoying, but I think he's sweet in an odd way and I like him.

So, tonight I said, point blank, that I am not interested in him romantically and that I am looking for something more substantial. To which he replied "gotcha".

The sad thing is - we have actually been through this before, even though we have only been talking for three weeks! I'll tell him that I am not interested, he says he understands and then he is sweet talking me again and calling me at 6 in the morning (which I HATE because I have told him several times that I am at the gym at that time and he still calls anyway!!!)...

How does it look to you guys?

posted June 13, 2015 12:14 AM            

I will say from the get go from the composite is that the Sun is conjunct Mercury in Taurus in the 3rd house of communication, which means you enjoy talking to each other very much, and from what it seems like is practical things like cars, clothing, and the general 'Fixed' association of that sign.

Also, this conjunction is opposite the Moon conjunct Uranus in the 9th house. You two feel up and down already not just in emotions (Moon) but in communication (Mercury). This guy seem to come out of nowhere in a different landscape.(9th house)

Interestingly, both of your natal charts have Moon and Uranus in the 9th house even though not conjunct, it's the energy thos two planets surrounding each other have an effect on how you feel with each other like very familiar yet unknown. I also see a Mercury opposite Mercury which denotes a miscommunication at times like you just can't comprehend what the other is saying and I can't tell whose Mercury is trining Uranus but again, Uranus seems to be the issue here.

So again, composite Sun tells why the relationship formed. In this case it is in the 3rd house, which is the house of commuincations, your local neighborhood, relatives/siblings, friends who are local and the community in your backyard. Maybe for now, he's just meant to be your friend.

Hope that helps a bit!

posted June 13, 2015 12:32 AM            

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posted June 13, 2015 12:48 AM            

The above boils down to, 'he's a shallow cad, but I still find I'm attracted to him. WTF is the deal?' or something similar? Or are you just becoming further disenchanted the more you get to know him?

You're clearly exhibiting mixed emotions here, as the initial post is in and of itself confusing! Lots of waffling and beating around the proverbial bush.

posted June 13, 2015 07:36 AM            

I see that in your case, there is Mars/Venus square and Mars/Moon opposition between you two.

When someones spirit(Mars) interferes with our personal planets, we can become irritated. And vice versa; we irritate them.

posted June 13, 2015 08:08 AM            

Thank you for the reading - it was very informative!

I had a feeling Uranus was wreaking havoc on our relationship. We are both Aquarius Risings, his Sun, Mercury and NN are in Aquarius (while most of my personal planets are in Leo) and my natal chart has Sun square Uranus and Mercury (which equals 7th house ruler square 1st house ruler and 5th and 8th house rulers). I usually don't get along with Aquarians - AT ALL (or even people with Aquarius heavy charts), I don't know why I thought this would be different.

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I also see a Mercury opposite Mercury which denotes a miscommunication at times like you just can't comprehend what the other is saying...

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I noticed that too, I think that is a big part of the problem also. He says some shocking things, things that are a "no-no" to say to a proper (snobby, Saturn conjunct NN) Leo like me! I am entertained by it in an "I can't believe he is actually saying this" way, but I don't see myself with someone who is like that 24/7.

Ami Anne

Thank you for bringing the Moon to my attention! A lot of times I'll skip over it though, I don't know why, unless it is conjunct something in my chart. His is squaring all of my personal planets plus my ascendant. That's pretty terrible. Plus his Mars opposes my Moon - that one I have noticed and I can feel because I think he is a little "too rough" with me and the way he constantly calls and texts (his Mars falling in my 3rd) irritates me. Seriously, when I see it's him I want to throw my phone.

Aubyanne

I agree, the post is confusing. It is probably because I am pretty confused myself! I've always had trouble with dating because I am the type of person who wants to be "in love" right off the bat. Since I know that about myself I always try to think, in the beginning of a relationship, "Well, maybe I should try to get to know this guy before I decide that I am in love". It doesn't always work. I have a serious case of heart-head confusion. Plus, with online dating, there is that false sense of intimacy that I am highly susceptible to. Also (yup, there's more), if I am being pursued, I have a hard time figuring out if I like the guy or if I am flattered just because they like me and I enjoy the attention and compliments. This isn't with everyone though - most people are just an out and out "NO!" (street harassers for example) but with a man who is attractive and who seems to be into me, I tend to run into problems. So, I try to go with the "first instinct" thing, which is usually right, but I'll question that too ("Am I being to snobby? Am I not giving him a chance? Do I just want to be alone forever?").

posted June 13, 2015 08:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Any time that two people can't stand each other, I often rule that it is Mars whom is the source of the irritation

I see that in your case, there is Mars/Venus square and Mars/Moon opposition between you two.

When someones spirit(Mars) interferes with our personal planets, we can become irritated. And vice versa; we irritate them.

If its with the opposition aspect, there is a tendency to swing "back and forth"; sometime we really like them. At other times, they irritate the heck outa us etc.

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Wow Aries23Degrees - you wrote this post just as I was writing my response post!

Yes - IRRITATION is the keyword here. I feel irritated by what he says and asks, irritated by how often and what time he calls me, irritated by him asking the same things over and over again. But on the other hand (opposition) his persistence is almost entertaining. He is in sales and marketing and I said to him "I can see why you are such a good salesman - you never give up!!!"

posted June 13, 2015 02:16 PM            

You don't need someone to look at your chart; you need to look at your own heart and actions.

Have you considered you might be exhibiting some traits of love addiction? It's neither normal, healthy, or even feasible of a person to expect they'll be in love 'at first sight', so to speak. You're spot on about the false intimacy of the online world. It's disarming and deceptive.

The usual problem regarding the tendency to run from potential partners who show interest in us is that we've got an unresolved conflict. Maybe the famous love-sex disconnect, or issues with intimacy, or an inability to trust or depend upon another allowing ourselves to experience true vulnerability. It runs the gamut.

If your first instinct is usually correct, then it's aligned with your true feelings; your heart 'unsullied' by your head, in this case. The greatest conflict is likely your deep-seated fear that some of your paranoia is actually right, and the more you exhibit the behaviour, the higher your chances of opting for no partner at all.

This is commonly seen in sex dysfunction with desire disorders and a history of abuse. A woman will long to be desired but then panic and shut down once she is. It's a complicated, heartbreaking experience, as no one is fulfilled by it -- neither the man pursuing the woman he genuinely desires, or the woman who truly wants to be desired but is unable to allow herself to be so.

posted June 13, 2015 03:06 PM            

I have a few, but not all, of the traits of love addiction. Most people do, I think. I was abandoned and neglected in childhood so, there's that. I don't have sex indiscriminately though. I am actually quite (involuntarily) celibate I go years without (sadly). But, I can see where a few of the traits fit.

posted June 13, 2015 03:13 PM            

I was a love addict for many years (avoidant type) and thus attracted the same to me, and had very painful, complicated, ultimately unfulfilling relationships.

I find it intriguing that you think you've not been loose enough with your sexual adventuring, so to speak, but are also 'involuntarily' celibate.

Do you have a more negative or positive overall view in regards to sex?

posted June 13, 2015 03:42 PM            

I just don't enter that many love relationships and I have to "feel love" in order to sleep with someone. I don't think of sex as something to do purely for fun, without a relationship attached to it, at least not since my early 20s. I learned early on that a "hump and dump" is not good for me emotionally, so I don't do it. I do very much enjoy sex though, can't get enough actually, but I have to be in a relationship.

quote:

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Putting a single aspect to it feels misguided to me; I think it's far more complex than one singular aspect, though I agree MOON square VENUS could be one.

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posted June 13, 2015 03:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
Aubyanne

I just don't enter that many love relationships and I have to "feel love" in order to sleep with someone. I don't think of sex as something to do purely for fun, without a relationship attached to it, at least not since my early 20s. I learned early on that a "hump and dump" is not good for me emotionally, so I don't do it. I do very much enjoy sex though, can't get enough actually, but I have to be in a relationship.[/B]

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That's not a bad thing! That's a very, very good thing. You're not approaching this from the wrong vantage at all, but the right one.

posted June 13, 2015 03:47 PM            

Hi I did not look in details but a few things caught my attention. his mars fall in your 3 oppose your moon. you feel him is pushing you always when you talk (as you mentioned) and this upset you, but i suspect that he is also bringing ideas to you that even if upseting a part of you (9 house) needs to hear... so when you get upset think why you really are upset about...

I see a plutonian theme here. his pluto sextile your 7th and venus fall in your 8th an your pluto trine his sun exact. In my experience the pluto person when aspecting the sun has a power over the sun person. there is a fascination. i have not noted the same power with the pluto venus or pluto moon (from the pluto to the venus or moon person). although there is a reaction to the pluto energy, sometimes is disruptive for the venus person. being in sextile should not be a problem except that is in your 8th.. he is bringing 8th themes and that can cause rejection. when i see pluto or 8th house influence i notice that many times there is rejection or sometimes you switched from not being interested to become obsessed once the reasons holding you back is sort of accepted (for instance your ideal of how you should feel after the first mesages). he is activating all the buried anger and pain caused by the abuses you have suffered, but this is also an opportunity to heal part of these buried feelings...

posted June 13, 2015 03:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
When moon square venus in natal there is a conflict between the need to feel safe and nurtured and belonging and the the like of someone. you end up being attracted to men who cannot fulfill your emotional needs or the ones who can are not so attractive to you..

I am not sure how this conflict can be solved to be honest. this is typical in people having the husband an the lover in two different people... or the longing for either one of the extremes you are not getting.

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NordicSoul

I actually feel this aspect hanging over my head when it comes to this guy. He is very attractive in a traditional sense (a bodybuilder type), but I don't feel the emotional depth that I feel with other men.

For example: He was talking about an accidental pregnancy and he said "that would be bad, couldn't drink for nine months". Uh, what?! Drinking would not be the thing I'd worry about if I accidentally got pregnant!

posted June 13, 2015 04:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
[b]NordicSoul

I actually feel this aspect hanging over my head when it comes to this guy. He is very attractive in a traditional sense (a bodybuilder type), but I don't feel the emotional depth that I feel with other men.

For example: He was talking about an accidental pregnancy and he said "that would be bad, couldn't drink for nine months". Uh, what?! Drinking would not be the thing I'd worry about if I accidentally got pregnant!

[/B]

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It is funny, I would have laughed at the comment of drinking.. I thought it was a joke. LOL.. your mercury oppose his mercury.. so here again the theme of bringing an opposing view to you. but i think he is bringing to you something that you need. maybe he is activating a need to change your mindset

your venus square his mars.. so it must be some attraction to his physicality...

posted June 13, 2015 04:05 PM            

I am reading more about love addiction, especially since you brought up the word "avoidant", and I can see how that would apply to me and my life actually.

I'm 35, almost 36, and I just can't get it together in the love department.

posted June 13, 2015 04:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
[b]Aubyanne

I am reading more about love addiction, especially since you brought up the word "avoidant", and I can see how that would apply to me and my life actually.

I'm 35, almost 36, and I just can't get it together in the love department.[/B]

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There are some definite conflicts. It's almost like a balance which needs to be struck; the understanding that your approach to sex is healthy, but your attachment style may be preventing you from finding a fulfilling relationship. In some cases, that'll happen, and tends to be identifiable from our backgrounds -- typically, that takes shape in early adolescence.

You're right that there's a thing such as being too discerning to the point of expecting perfection. I don't think this is that, however. You're probably attracting to you the sort of man that will help you resolve this inner conflict, but can't hack the relationship because it doesn't (and rightly) fit with your ideals.

The trick is to understand what's outstanding in our history that's preventing us from allowing the right partners into our lives, that will bring us the sort of relationship we want -- and need.

I had a complicated romance I relived over and over for a decade, if not more, stemming from my first love which resulted in total estrangement. I felt as if my entire being was under attack; I had to stick to my guns or give in to something I didn't want to in order to have what we both wanted. tSATURN dipping back over my MOON and the tMERC retro in my 9H caused me to reexamine what was so wounding about that relationship -- and why I've had to replay it over and over again with three different men.

When I realised my principles felt under fire in the presence of one who really loved me, it gave me whiplash. I had to rethink, now, in my mid-thirties, whether or not I'd've advised my seventeen-year-old self differently. I realised I wouldn't. Though I ultimately lost the relationship (and we lost each other in any capacity, very probably forever) I dodged a deeper bullet that would've wounded me worse.

At least I have my dignity, and a sense of self-assurance. I know now, upon taking this painful stroll down Memory Lane, that I wouldn't have changed anything, save for some of my behaviour. THAT could've retained the friendship; but then would it have taken us apart in the eventuality anyhow? Some things truly can't be reconciled, no matter how much we'd like them to be, if we're adhering to who we are, and a relationship is just not possible unless we change something fundamental about ourselves.

My boyfriend had to change something fundamental to ward off the ravages of Tisiphone. I had to approach things with a new understanding as well. Some things remained the same, while others were renegotiated and reconsidered in the light of new information. That was our ultimate outstanding karma from one to the other, so that we could enjoy a relationship free of such internal prejudice, misunderstanding, and misery.

Wow! And just like that, I suddenly caught his scent. It's a complicated one. I wouldn't have even recognised it were it not for it coming to me long before I ever met him, so that I had to articulate it. ... It's a long story. Literally.

posted June 13, 2015 07:53 PM            

The first thing that stands out to me is that he is not really your type. He doesn't resonate with your 7th, 5th, or 8th houses, even just on a symbolic level. Nor does he match the symbolism of your Juno, or your Vertex Axis... He does have Venus in Pisces but not on your Antivertex so there is a faint connection, he also has Capricorn rising (you have Saturn at the end of the 7th, near the 8th), which gives him some appeal to you. And that Mars opposite your Moon makes him chase you pretty hard. This both attracts and repels you at the same time. But overall he is mostly not your type.

posted June 15, 2015 08:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
So, I started talking to this guy that I met on a dating site a few weeks ago. I thought he was cute and I thought it was interesting that he lives in an area I thought of moving to (because I have friends there) so I replied to his message.

From the first couple of messages I could see that he wasn't a very good listener (or reading retainer, I guess) and he just seemed a little too young acting even though he is seven years older than me. So, as soon as he texted me and he said "Wanna trade pictures?", my first instinct was NO! I even texted back "I'm not really up for this, good luck out there." But he persisted and we kept talking.

Every day he says something that turns me off a little more, but he is a cool person. I can see being his friend, but romantically, no. He is just a little too shallow for my taste. I keep telling him "friends", but he doesn't seem to get it. I guess I kinda let a little "sweetheart talk" in though, because I am lonely and because I like him as a person.

We just don't have the basic things in common - we have different tastes (I'm more preppy/classic and he's trendy - he asked me if I shop at Forever 21 and I told him that I wouldn't be caught dead in Forever 21 and he said that he could "mold me" if we started dating). He also questions my choices on various things (I told him that I want a GMC Acadia as my next car, I currently drive a Nissan Murano and want something a little bigger, and he said "Why? Why an Acadia?", with a laugh. He drives a BMW sports turbo thing, so he doesn't get the need for a big car. "I go on a lot of road trips" I answer, because, yeah, I put a ton of miles on a car and I like a big one to hold all of my gear/equipment. He says "Why don't you just rent a car?" BECAUSE I DON'T FREAKIN' WANT TO!!! It's like he's a little kid too, because we have had this conversation more than once with me saying the same thing. He's seriously annoying, but I think he's sweet in an odd way and I like him.

So, tonight I said, point blank, that I am not interested in him romantically and that I am looking for something more substantial. To which he replied "gotcha".

The sad thing is - we have actually been through this before, even though we have only been talking for three weeks! I'll tell him that I am not interested, he says he understands and then he is sweet talking me again and calling me at 6 in the morning (which I HATE because I have told him several times that I am at the gym at that time and he still calls anyway!!!)...

How does it look to you guys?

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Looking at synastry..... it doesn't look good to me.

posted June 16, 2015 07:41 PM            

quote:

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The first thing that stands out to me is that he is not really your type.

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That's so true. He is so different from the guys I usually date - I thought that was a good thing since I have had some crappy experiences, but different is just different, not better.

quote:

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All your Leo planets fall in his 7th house.

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I am feeling that from him too - he talks about "running off to Vegas" with me and I think "really?" I do like him and he's funny and entertaining but that's not all I look for in a guy.

starmoon

quote:

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it's a classic case of opposites attract...

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I think that's why I'm kind of drawn to him though. I think about other Leo Woman/Aquarius Man couples - Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, Loni Anderson and Burt Reynolds - and remember how those went down (to the public anyway). The jury is still out on Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher though, we'll see. Oh yeah, and Gracie Allen and George Burns - I think they had a good relationship.

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the libra moon person will be too blinded by thoughts of romance to even figure it out

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I'm the Libra Moon and I am a little bit blinded by love, but I am definitely questioning things...

astra7

About those Yods - what is that all about? I've never had one in a composite before so I was intrigued.

I also notice the Venus-Mars conjunction in the 4th, sextile Saturn. He REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wants children, with me specifically. He says it all of the time. Maybe that is his Mars opposite my Moon also?