posted June 29, 2015 06:22 PM            

Anyway, to cut a long story short, there's this one man I've had a romantic crush on. I say romantic, because when I first saw him, for some reason I started thinking about the song from 'Sleeping Beauty': 'I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...' It feels like a very pleasant, but strangely naive, crush: a sense of great happiness and familiarity, and sexual feelings are (or seem to be) curiously absent. The feeling I get is wanting to cover him with hugs and kisses, and lying in his arms, feeling peaceful and full of happiness.

I don't know his exact birth time, and I have little expertise, so it's still hard for me to say what exactly causes the crush to have that particular 'flavour'. But I was a bit surprised to see these aspects in the synastry:

his Nessus opposite my Sun/Mercury/Aphrodite conjunction (exact)
his Nessus square my Chiron and Moon (1 and 2 degrees, respectively)
his Nessus square my Mars (2 degrees)
his Nessus quindecile my Venus (exact)

When I saw that, I was seriously perplexed. That's... quite a lot of Nessus action, isn't it? And that isn't the 'vibe' I get at all, if you get my drift. There's this other man I'm interested in that I've talked about earlier, and he fascinates me and frightens me, intrigues and disturbs me at the same time. But this one? No way. He's a gentle, intelligent, mild-mannered man, with a quick wit and a wicked sense of humour, but a boyish and self-effacing charm. He's a writer. Handsome, but not in a particularly 'masculine' way. He seems remarkably well-adjusted (for a writer, heh).

Nothing in his natal chart seems to imply any violent tendencies either. (He does have Nessus square Saturn, but that's generational, isn't it?)

posted June 30, 2015 04:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Petronilla:
Well, I've been looking at my synastry with various men I've had a crush on - I don't know most of their exact birth times, so it's a bit frustrating, but as a still-not-sure-how-much-I-believe-in-astrology type of person I still find it amazing how much these things say... With every different person, there's a different 'flavour' - even in a crush - and the synastry seems to reflect that flavour without exception.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, there's this one man I've had a romantic crush on. I say romantic, because when I first saw him, for some reason I started thinking about the song from 'Sleeping Beauty': 'I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...' It feels like a very pleasant, but strangely naive, crush: a sense of great happiness and familiarity, and sexual feelings are (or seem to be) curiously absent. The feeling I get is wanting to cover him with hugs and kisses, and lying in his arms, feeling peaceful and full of happiness.

I don't know his exact birth time, and I have little expertise, so it's still hard for me to say what exactly causes the crush to have that particular 'flavour'. But I was a bit surprised to see these aspects in the synastry:

his Nessus opposite my Sun/Mercury/Aphrodite conjunction (exact)
his Nessus square my Chiron and Moon (1 and 2 degrees, respectively)
his Nessus square my Mars (2 degrees)
his Nessus quindecile my Venus (exact)

When I saw that, I was seriously perplexed. That's... quite a lot of Nessus action, isn't it? And that isn't the 'vibe' I get at all, if you get my drift. There's this other man I'm interested in that I've talked about earlier, and he fascinates me and frightens me, intrigues and disturbs me at the same time. But this one? No way. He's a gentle, intelligent, mild-mannered man, with a quick wit and a wicked sense of humour, but a boyish and self-effacing charm. He's a writer. Handsome, but not in a particularly 'masculine' way. He seems remarkably well-adjusted (for a writer, heh).

Nothing in his natal chart seems to imply any violent tendencies either. (He does have Nessus square Saturn, but that's generational, isn't it?)

So, the tl;dr version: are there any other explanations for Nessus active in synastry than the conventional ones? Because, frankly, the very idea of either abuse or BDSM vibes with this particular man leaves me completely baffled.

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Check dejanira and look for moon, asc, venus, jupiter aspects. Nessus is not a villain he can be controlled if there are other good aspects. So, this guy may be nice to you but if in a relationship, his nessus might get activated. Again, does his chart have pluto, moon, mars and nessus aspects? If he is a martian or plutonian then his nessus aspects will be stronger. Otherwise, he will be only occasionally nessus like.

posted July 01, 2015 07:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by NikiVenus6:
Check dejanira and look for moon, asc, venus, jupiter aspects. Nessus is not a villain he can be controlled if there are other good aspects. So, this guy may be nice to you but if in a relationship, his nessus might get activated. Again, does his chart have pluto, moon, mars and nessus aspects? If he is a martian or plutonian then his nessus aspects will be stronger. Otherwise, he will be only occasionally nessus like.

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Thank you, NikiVenus6! Not knowing his exact birth time, I can't really say for sure - but he does have Sun, Saturn and Pluto in Scorpio. Would that be enough to make him 'Plutonian'?

His natal Nessus squares Saturn and trines Jupiter and Neptune. His Mars sextiles his Sun and Mercury (4 and 5 degrees); his Pluto... well, it does seem to square his Dejanira (2 degrees), but how fast is Dejanira's orbit? (not knowing his birth time, I mean)

Funnily enough, there are some Dejanira aspects in the synastry as well:

his Pluto square my Dejanira (2 degrees)
his Mars trine my Dejanira (3 degrees)
his Chiron trine my Dejanira (2 degrees)

But even more than that, I was struck by the Saturn influences:

his Saturn square my Sun (3 degrees)
his Saturn opposite my Moon (4 degrees)
his Saturn square my Mercury (1 degree)
his Saturn conjunct my Jupiter (exact)
his Saturn square my Vertex (1 degree)
his Saturn trine my Priapus (exact)
his Saturn sextile my Ascendant (1 degree)

None of this sounds very ideal, does it?

posted July 02, 2015 02:11 AM            

As we've deepened our relationship over time, our natural BDSM dynamics came to the fore. Rather, he has just the right psychosexual profile to successfully guide me through seemingly insurmountable hurdles.

His SUN is 0º00 sextile my VENUS, too, actually. I do think that's a beautiful, loving influence -- and I can relate so much with your description of this particular man. To a 'T'!

Ahhh, but that's hardly the whole of the story.

NESSUS square ASC (0º)
NESSUS square VENUS (2º)
NESSUS conjunct MC (1º)
NESSUS quindecile MOON (0º)
NESSUS septile PRIAPUS (0º)
NESSUS quincunx EROS (1º)
NESSUS quincunx DESTINN (0º)

DEJANIRA conjunct NESSUS-NYMPHE-CERES (0º)
IXION conjunct DEJANIRA (0º)
MOON-ANGEL trine DEJANIRA (1º)
CUPIDO quindecile DEJANIRA (0º)

posted July 03, 2015 05:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Petronilla:
Thank you, NikiVenus6! Not knowing his exact birth time, I can't really say for sure - but he does have Sun, Saturn and Pluto in Scorpio. Would that be enough to make him 'Plutonian'?

His natal Nessus squares Saturn and trines Jupiter and Neptune. His Mars sextiles his Sun and Mercury (4 and 5 degrees); his Pluto... well, it does seem to square his Dejanira (2 degrees), but how fast is Dejanira's orbit? (not knowing his birth time, I mean)

Funnily enough, there are some Dejanira aspects in the synastry as well:

his Pluto square my Dejanira (2 degrees)
his Mars trine my Dejanira (3 degrees)
his Chiron trine my Dejanira (2 degrees)

But even more than that, I was struck by the Saturn influences:

his Saturn square my Sun (3 degrees)
his Saturn opposite my Moon (4 degrees)
his Saturn square my Mercury (1 degree)
his Saturn conjunct my Jupiter (exact)
his Saturn square my Vertex (1 degree)
his Saturn trine my Priapus (exact)
his Saturn sextile my Ascendant (1 degree)

None of this sounds very ideal, does it?

Looking at all this, I scratch my head and wonder what exactly is it that gives me the very 'warm and fuzzy' feeling about him. His Sun sextiles my Venus - could that explain it all, by itself?

---

This relationshp looks mature n here to stay kind. Yes, he is plutonian!

posted July 03, 2015 06:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
It's quite funny, but the way you described these two beaus reminds me of my boyfriend in combination -- including all of the wonderfully paradoxical feelings: romanticism and familiarity, deep comfort, gentility and soft, beautiful pleasures of the heart and soul. But also raw eroticism, intimidation bordering upon daunting and powerfully overwhelming; something dark and inexplicable -- mysterious and dangerously seductive.

As we've deepened our relationship over time, our natural BDSM dynamics came to the fore. Rather, he has just the right psychosexual profile to successfully guide me through seemingly insurmountable hurdles.

His SUN is 0º00 sextile my VENUS, too, actually. I do think that's a beautiful, loving influence -- and I can relate so much with your description of this particular man. To a 'T'!

Ahhh, but that's hardly the whole of the story.

NESSUS square ASC (0º)
NESSUS square VENUS (2º)
NESSUS conjunct MC (1º)
NESSUS quindecile MOON (0º)
NESSUS septile PRIAPUS (0º)
NESSUS quincunx EROS (1º)
NESSUS quincunx DESTINN (0º)

DEJANIRA conjunct NESSUS-NYMPHE-CERES (0º)
IXION conjunct DEJANIRA (0º)
MOON-ANGEL trine DEJANIRA (1º)
CUPIDO quindecile DEJANIRA (0º)

... which are just some of the most major. So, as you can see, sometimes beneath 'Once Upon a Dream' there's still the possibility of some 'Self-Control' (if you remember that one by Laura Branigan.)

---

That's beautiful, Nessus is the desire we can't control. So, tight Nessus aspects in synastry mean something and it is not always abuse depending upon how comfortable the overall synastry feels and how comfortable the opposite person is.

posted July 03, 2015 02:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by NikiVenus6:
That's beautiful, Nessus is the desire we can't control. So, tight Nessus aspects in synastry mean something and it is not always abuse depending upon how comfortable the overall synastry feels and how comfortable the opposite person is.

---

I never thought about nessus this way. Interesting....makes sense!

posted July 06, 2015 02:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Septembergirl:
I never thought about nessus this way. Interesting....makes sense!

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Yes, it is very much valid. Deja is the place where we are most vulnerable and are susceptible to get victimized.

posted July 08, 2015 05:40 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by NikiVenus6:
Yes, it is very much valid. Deja is the place where we are most vulnerable and are susceptible to get victimized.

---

Great thoughts, Niki.

Something that's always gotten me is how it's his DEJA that's 0° conjunct my NESSUS. Baffling, it's often seemed, as he's the one taking me on a deep, completely consensual, but extremely cathartic psychological and sexual journey. (His IXION is also 0° conjunct my DEJA.)

Or it might be the 2° conjunction of his NESSUS to my drDEJA (Draconic). Or the tight aspects his NESSUS makes.

posted July 09, 2015 02:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Great thoughts, Niki.

Something that's always gotten me is how it's [b]his DEJA that's 0° conjunct my NESSUS. Baffling, it's often seemed, as he's the one taking me on a deep, completely consensual, but extremely cathartic psychological and sexual journey. (His IXION is also 0° conjunct my DEJA.)

Or it might be the 2° conjunction of his NESSUS to my drDEJA (Draconic). Or the tight aspects his NESSUS makes.

Abusive? Absolutely the diametric opposite. He works diligently to show his appreciation when we're together, and is the consummate gentleman.[/B]

---

I think there is strong "prohibited" attraction between you two. He may be making you lose your control and he may be wanting to lose control or wanting you to lose control with him. I see a balance here since, his Deja on your Nessus and his Nessus on Dr Deja- draconic is your soul. So, there is uncontrolled desire in the air and you both want it.

posted July 09, 2015 02:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RainbowFunkster:
My Moon conjunct Dejanira in gemini (2nd house) makes an opposition to her Nessus in saggitarius (1st house). The rest of the chart is pretty good (So0Mo, Ma120Ma and Sa). I really want to get my fingers on this girl, should I be worried? That Nessus/Dejanira opposition is exact, and Moon is there by 1 degree.

---

Here, is a song for you I think this song is Dejanira for Nessus:

https://youtu.be/LOZuxwVk7TU

She knows he is toxic but she still wants to be his victim.

You should be worried if you don't have a "mutual net" of good amiable balancing aspects. Otherwise, enjoy it!

posted July 11, 2015 04:18 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RainbowFunkster:
Thanks for your answer, I have a gut feeling some abuse will play out. But we have some very good aspects.

---

I will tell you about the abuse, you are moon conjunct dejanira person which means "people can take you on an emotional ride". So, Nessus will sense it and will want to "prey" on you. So, say if you are together, Nessus may have "uncontrolled desire" for jewellery and she will demand from you and you will succumb to the "emotional appeal". Once, this gets frequent it may become "abusive" for you!

posted July 12, 2015 02:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by NikiVenus6:
I think there is strong "prohibited" attraction between you two. He may be making you lose your control and he may be wanting to lose control or wanting you to lose control with him. I see a balance here since, his Deja on your Nessus and his Nessus on Dr Deja- draconic is your soul. So, there is uncontrolled desire in the air and you both want it.

---

It might be the only thing that pushed us both into polyamory. I'm married (to a narcissistic man who's trying to heal), and never once fathomed that I would be able to love anyone outside of my husband -- theoretically-speaking. But then I never really thought I'd marry, either. (My reasons were pragmatic.) My boyfriend is much the same: strong principles, high morals, and really, deeply chivalrous.

Interesting enough, my husband's NESSUS expresses abuse and the need for control; possession. But my boyfriend's does not.

My husband and I have, synastrically:

His SUN-SATURN-NESSUS-PRIAPUS conjunct my PSYCHE (0°-3°)

I know. It's not been easy, but we make it work. I've slowly helped him learn to heal by refusing to allow him to abuse me. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has NEVER been abusive. Not in the entirety of 5 years. (I've been with my husband for 7 years; married for 5.) This isn't about that, actually, but it's a bit of background.

My boyfriend and I are asexual, where's my husband is hypersexual; he's actually a sex addict who flirts with recovery. Usually, he surrounds himself enough with other addicts so as to feel healthy, so he remains in the precontemplative stage. (I'm a sex therapist.)

'Uncontrolled desire' is a fascinating feature in an asexual interpersonal profile and relationship; how it presents within the context of asexuality. I figure that's why it's more within the realm of BDSM than raw sexuality.

But my boyfriend has NEVER lost control. Ever. He thought that male orgasm simply does not lose control, figuring that female orgasm is oriented towards vulnerability, and the masculine is to be strong, protective, and nurturing to the female. Fascinating. (And incredibly unusual.)

So the thought that he 'wants me to lose control with him' is, perhaps, partially correct. He's confided that he does experience a psychosexual thrill (which is mental and emotional rather than physiological) when he is 'charged' with the protection and catharsis of female vulnerability. Alas, while this is satisfying on a particular level, he doesn't lose control. I've never known a man to NOT lose control in orgasm. But if ever there were such a physical profile, it's Delayed Ejaculation (DE) with desynchronous features -- where the orgasm and ejaculation do not coincide, but can. (Actually, if properly utilised, this can be a real boon in terms of tantric sex.)

While I have worked diligently to make myself vulnerable, and have even briefly 'lost control' (for what that's worth, however it's defined), I can't say that the greatest difficulty lies within my ability to do so.

But does he secretly want to lose control? I do suspect he's just unable to admit it -- and that makes it tough. Being asexual, I know the trouble of sacrificing my own comfort and emotional wellbeing in order to satisfy the sexual desires of others. And I would NEVER inflict the same upon another. Period. So it's complicated, as I'm seeking his 'enthusiastic consent', as it's termed, but he's not only 'invulnerable' but also does not experience sexual attraction or desire (like me) and that ... makes things tricky. Sometimes I've just made presumptions (with success) but I'm not sure if that's the best approach to take. Other times I can absolutely tell that being sexual is the last thing in the world he wants to be doing.

Has he helped me lose control? Undoubtedly. My attraction to him is on a level I can't articulate. It's raw and primal -- but ironically not sexual. I have a need to share vulnerability with him; to experience his, and to gift him with mine.

posted July 21, 2016 01:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
It might be the only thing that pushed us both into polyamory. I'm married (to a narcissistic man who's trying to heal), and never once fathomed that I would be able to love anyone outside of my husband -- theoretically-speaking. But then I never really thought I'd marry, either. (My reasons were pragmatic.) My boyfriend is much the same: strong principles, high morals, and really, deeply chivalrous.

Interesting enough, my husband's NESSUS expresses abuse and the need for control; possession. But my boyfriend's does not.

My husband and I have, synastrically:

His SUN-SATURN-NESSUS-PRIAPUS conjunct my PSYCHE (0°-3°)

I know. It's not been easy, but we make it work. I've slowly helped him learn to heal by refusing to allow him to abuse me. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has NEVER been abusive. Not in the entirety of 5 years. (I've been with my husband for 7 years; married for 5.) This isn't about that, actually, but it's a bit of background.

My boyfriend and I are asexual, where's my husband is hypersexual; he's actually a sex addict who flirts with recovery. Usually, he surrounds himself enough with other addicts so as to feel healthy, so he remains in the precontemplative stage. (I'm a sex therapist.)

'Uncontrolled desire' is a fascinating feature in an asexual interpersonal profile and relationship; how it presents within the context of asexuality. I figure that's why it's more within the realm of BDSM than raw sexuality.

But my boyfriend has NEVER lost control. Ever. He thought that male orgasm simply does not lose control, figuring that female orgasm is oriented towards vulnerability, and the masculine is to be strong, protective, and nurturing to the female. Fascinating. (And incredibly unusual.)

So the thought that he 'wants me to lose control with him' is, perhaps, partially correct. He's confided that he does experience a psychosexual thrill (which is mental and emotional rather than physiological) when he is 'charged' with the protection and catharsis of female vulnerability. Alas, while this is satisfying on a particular level, he doesn't lose control. I've never known a man to NOT lose control in orgasm. But if ever there were such a physical profile, it's Delayed Ejaculation (DE) with desynchronous features -- where the orgasm and ejaculation do not coincide, but can. (Actually, if properly utilised, this can be a real boon in terms of tantric sex.)

While I have worked diligently to make myself vulnerable, and have even briefly 'lost control' (for what that's worth, however it's defined), I can't say that the greatest difficulty lies within my ability to do so.

But does he secretly [b]want to lose control? I do suspect he's just unable to admit it -- and that makes it tough. Being asexual, I know the trouble of sacrificing my own comfort and emotional wellbeing in order to satisfy the sexual desires of others. And I would NEVER inflict the same upon another. Period. So it's complicated, as I'm seeking his 'enthusiastic consent', as it's termed, but he's not only 'invulnerable' but also does not experience sexual attraction or desire (like me) and that ... makes things tricky. Sometimes I've just made presumptions (with success) but I'm not sure if that's the best approach to take. Other times I can absolutely tell that being sexual is the last thing in the world he wants to be doing.

Has he helped me lose control? Undoubtedly. My attraction to him is on a level I can't articulate. It's raw and primal -- but ironically not sexual. I have a need to share vulnerability with him; to experience his, and to gift him with mine.

I suspect this may have something to do with our karmic / multidimensional 'past'. But then it may be highlighted by these aspects, too. It's tough to say.[/B]

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I would say its because you guys are twin flames, where sex becomes a way to merge, and the attraction isn't sexual but more of an attraction of the Spirit, the soul.. That's my non astrological take on it, Aubyanne.