posted August 11, 2015 04:14 AM            

We had a curious relationship at first, creator and muse, author and contagonist.

He was always making trouble, foiling, and profoundly transforming my heroine. All the while I'm asking, 'who are you?' because I don't know, and I'm realising that I want to. Deeply. I felt like a journalist armed with only a steno and my insatiable curiosity; I wanted to know everything about him. Fifteen years later, I know most; much of it via the lens of story, and plenty more directly by experience of the man himself, not under glass.

It's already been an incredible journey, and it's just begun.

Astrology didn't bring us here as much as properly evaluating and considering the greater context has. Even when told, and, for some bigger-picture reason, truly believed he was not my twin, I could not 'relegate' him to anything garden variety. No, no. Not him. There is nothing like him, and no one. Of all the bizarre experiences in my life and incredible individuals I've known, he remains a unique constant, permeating all levels. He is an inextricable part of me; I love him more than I'm comfortable feeling, or able to articulate.

And now, now despite all of my eagerness, readiness to fully engage, after a good ten days of processing it all, I'm coming to understand that I really haven't any solid agenda at all. The news came suddenly; I'd been thirsting for answers as the proverbial man lost in the desert craves an oasis. And I found it; not a mirage.

But coming to believe it ... that is altogether different, I have found, or am discovering. Yet, I can't not. All of my doubts have disappeared -- but not exactly all of my fears.

As each day unfolds further, yielding more, greater answers, better understanding and cohesion of the whole, it fits together as if it were designed to do so. I can't doubt in the presence of such things. Not anymore.

What am I saying? What do I mean? What is the point of this? I'm ... not even sure. It's an announcement? A celebration. A reaffirmation? It's my bearing witness to my own miracle; being an architect of my own special destiny.

I wish the astrology had been anywhere near as impressive as my karmic soulmate's. Our astrology is deceptive in its complementariness; it's subtle, with many nuances composing a deeper portrait of a powerful union. It's just easy to miss, when you're looking for what's become synonymous with twin flame astrology. But there's been a lot of returning to the drawing board on the subject lately, building for many months.

And now, here we are. Here I am.

I'm in a loving relationship, with mutual respect, and deep, appreciative love, with my twin flame. We're both very happy with the circumstances we've fought so diligently to win. The love that is our reward; the kind we hope to share through our work, both creative and research-based.

This is good. I'm ready. And, if I'm not yet entirely, I will be. Soon. I'll figure it out.

posted August 12, 2015 12:30 AM            

Have you posted the charts anywhere?

posted August 12, 2015 12:39 AM            

You say that he is your twin flame with such certainty yet you don't know if that is truly and deeply true. What is the point of knowing this anyway?

posted August 12, 2015 01:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Aubyanne you are so dramatic.

You say that he is your twin flame with such certainty yet you don't know if that is truly and deeply true. What is the point of knowing this anyway?

Knowing he is your twin flame isn't going to come about by some human emotion or occurrence.

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It isn't an occurrence, per se, or even a human emotion. It's a fifteen-year investigation, that's recently culminated with the infinity Lion's Gate.

And, you're right that I have uncertainty. I'm not entirely sure I can accept the concept. Then again, nothing else make sense here. Or, as my mother put it, the 'universe rubberstamped it in more ways than she can process'.

You are correct in that some things simply are. And we simply are.

Human emotion has little to do with it. Sure, it's a nice thing, and important for the full effect of the mirroring, so that we may clear karma and truly grow, fully evolve. I like to think that I'm blessed to have come to this realisation (though slowly, over time) by age 35. It gives me more focussed, intentional time, in which we can actually live as twin flames, rather than carrying some deep secret between us.

I don't even think he truly knows how to put words to it. He knows his feelings. He knows the ways in which reality has crashed down around him, and that he was strong enough to decide love, rather than resort to being fearful and running from everything. He chose to evolve. To me, that's quite a phenomenal thing. As a therapist, I work to help others grow and change everyday. But often they actually DO?

I can finally say something with certainty. If twin flames are legitimately so, then I'm here to reunite, and do great work with, mine. And if the aforementioned are true, then he is the one who has incarnated with this soul, energy, and intention.

This much I know. I've had to have a LOT of proof. Yes. But that's a big part of my own mission, and how I'm to help other twins reunite and do their great work.

But I'm growing to understand it. I'm learning to accept it. Nothing else fits. Nothing else reaches this level of ... God, I don't even have the words; I can't even articulate it. It's so much bigger than I am. I'm merely in service to it.

posted August 12, 2015 01:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Again ~ so happy for you both.

Have you posted the charts anywhere?

I have no advice except enjoy it all you can.

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Thank you, Faith. I have. Everywhere! Believe it or not: the dark karma thread posted today? Yep. That's us. Sometimes, I think it's important that we remember it's not all hearts-and-flowers.

Plus, ugh, I hate being THAT girl; you know. 'Hey, guys! Found my twin flame!' Then, months or years later. 'Oops! Not my twin flame.' It really is deeply disrespectful to the whole concept itself, and what it's even supposed to accomplish. It becomes pigeonholed into romantic ideology. It's never been that way for me; rather, I apparently had to go through a long, complicated, arduous karmic relationship that would prepare me to actually be with my twin flame. It was like a training course. They share a few major traits; the biggest difference is that my boyfriend chose to be loving and honest, as opposed to remain emotionally unavailable and solitary. (I was extremely emotionally unavailable and solitary. We've both helped each other so much in this area.)

He decided that learning to love me what sufficient enough to begin the work to transform his whole character. That ... that's exceptional. And, I admit, since astrology had already 'confirmed' the identity of my twin, I kept trying to understand what this was. I knew it went above and beyond everything I knew, and thus ... I started inventing terms! (They're good terms, really, but I reversed them.)

I'm also glad that I DIDN'T know then, at the beginning. I feel it would've saddled our already complex relationship with so much expectation ... it could've collapsed between its weight. I may've unconsciously sabotaged it, as I'd not yet been able to deal with so many of my own insecurities and issues. Instead, we ended up working together through them, to help each other with them -- just by sticking together, and working through things sensibly and lovingly.

Not to ramble on ....

Anyhow. I used to be very frustrated by the way it's all gone, but, in hindsight ... it makes perfect sense. It fell together beautifully, each piece into place, right when it was time to.

Nonetheless ... I still hate being that girl!

posted August 12, 2015 08:53 AM            

It's nothing to be concerned or sorry about, if you thought one person was your twin and then life taught you something different.

Sometimes it takes time and a variety of experiences to put everything in its proper place, right?

Best wishes ~ I'm exploring your charts on the darkness thread.

posted August 12, 2015 02:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Aubyanne you are so dramatic.

You say that he is your twin flame with such certainty yet you don't know if that is truly and deeply true. What is the point of knowing this anyway?

Knowing he is your twin flame isn't going to come about by some human emotion or occurrence.

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I don't think any combination of words can be enough to express the experience in a way that everyone else can relate to it, or be 'convinced' of it. We also don't even know how this stuff works - only that it's an experience common enough to have a name. Even with a name, its meaning will vary between people, and it will be more important for some people to be 'sure' of it, than for others. And some people will probably figure it out via human emotion or occurrence. (intuitives?)

posted August 12, 2015 04:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tgem:
Aubyanne, are you talking about Mr. Fate?

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tgem,

No, Fate is clearly something else. Though, iQ still asserts that 'we must be triplets or something'. But after telling him the whole story, and seeing how my boyfriend has handled everything, he said there's no doubt in his mind that he is my twin flame. I needed that. I feel that 'agreement' was set forth a very long time ago.

When I started that research thread, and began talking with iQ, everything began shifting forward. I knew that he was a guide from way back' elsewhere, and that inexplicable trust from 'back then' prompted the realisation that he was 'still performing the ceremony'; that he would ultimately be the one who would light the path to my twin flame.

Weird, isn't it? How we can know these inexplicable things?

So, it's been a wild, unfolding journey. Our perception has a lot to do with it, too, as well as the other's willingness to truly engage in such a relationship. Otherwise, we have the more likely result of disenfranchised twins, seeking to realise their connexion with someone at a distance in some way or another.

posted August 12, 2015 04:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Selenite:
I don't think any combination of words can be enough to express the experience in a way that everyone else can relate to it, or be 'convinced' of it. We also don't even know how this stuff works - only that it's an experience common enough to have a name. Even with a name, its meaning will vary between people, and it will be more important for some people to be 'sure' of it, than for others. And some people will probably figure it out via human emotion or occurrence. (intuitives?)

Advice?
Go with the flow!!!
Beautiful writing

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