Posts: 58
From: Venus
Registered: Aug 2015

posted August 16, 2015 09:18 PM            

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I just gotta rant here, and I figure we all get each other because I do feel this falls heavily into my own relationships strife's between our squared signs and if the sudden Venus retrograde is making me see it all the more clearly.

I'm currently in a relationship with a Sun and Moon Capricorn,she also Capricorn in Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. She is the hardest working, most stressed out, OCD person I've ever met. Of course I still love her despite my personality being the opposite.
I'm a Libra sun, Scorpio moon, Aries ascending.

Today my twin sister and I spoke, she's pretty worried about me. She says my partner is too controlling and that I tend to just go along with it. I do dislike conflict and I feel that I have to make the compromises in my relationship constantly to make it work. Equally I'm sick of feeling like the inferior one. My partner is very selfish in her wants which results in her being controlling to get things to go her way. She often tells me I care too much about other peoples feelings and that her 'work and fighting will always come before me' in her time priorities. My father passed away 3 months ago and on that day she still went to training before coming to see me.
I try to push these thoughts asides because I see how stressed out and agitated she is in her life and that I feel she needs understanding and gentle persuasion to relax and start caring about other people.
But I do wonder if our thought processes are just SO different that instead of helping her I am just allowing her to control me?
When I show emotions or cry about my Dads passing she becomes very annoyed and says I need to move on. This is something I cannot understand either, she says I am too sensitive, but I do not understand her lack of sensitivity or tact.
On the flip side when she is affectionate or shows emotions I see this whole other side to her that draws me in. When I am sick she will buy the whole pharmacy out, cook for me, buy me snacks, tell me we can do whatever I want and stress about my welfare. She is also so loving to my cat, worries about my cats welfare as well. She always offers to pick people up from the airport or give my friends lifts back to their houses.
I am always very confused. I feel if I go along with her she can be generous but if I divert from her Capricorn plan she just cannot fathom it.
I am an AIR sign.... its hard for me to feel controlled. I want to be compatible and work as a team, but not if it means giving up my own views and freedom of feelings and actions to be the constant compromiser who always comes second.
I guess I can't be the peace-keeper and get my views across with a Capricorn. I'm just going to have to battle it out with her stubborn side.

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Posts: 4548
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted August 16, 2015 10:08 PM            

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It sounds to me, Alexandra, that your partner has genuine intimacy issues, and uses the usual Saturnine pragmatism to institute distance.

Your sister may be trying to express that she's concerned your emotional needs won't be met if this continues.

(I'm a Libran and lunar Scorp as well, but Virgo rising.) We don't like to be dominated by our emotions either, and may bury them deeply so as to not 'impose' them upon others. (The Libran way.) So there may be further concern that you're disregarding yourself in an attempt to maintain harmony ( ... like we do.)

Use some of that Aries might to make your voice heard. tVENUSRx is famous for kicking over the ant hill and upsetting the apple cart, so that the rotten ones can be exposed and removed. We all have some 'bad apples' in our relationships -- things we do that aren't optimising the connexion with our partner. This is the time to expose them, acknowledge them, work through and abandon them.

... The issues. Not our partners!

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Posts: 58
From: Venus
Registered: Aug 2015

posted August 16, 2015 10:59 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
It sounds to me, Alexandra, that your partner has genuine intimacy issues, and uses the usual Saturnine pragmatism to institute distance.

Your sister may be trying to express that she's concerned your emotional needs won't be met if this continues.

(I'm a Libran and lunar Scorp as well, but Virgo rising.) We don't like to be dominated by our emotions either, and may bury them deeply so as to not 'impose' them upon others. (The Libran way.) So there may be further concern that you're disregarding yourself in an attempt to maintain harmony ( ... like we do.)

Use some of that Aries might to make your voice heard. tVENUSRx is famous for kicking over the ant hill and upsetting the apple cart, so that the rotten ones can be exposed and removed. We all have some 'bad apples' in our relationships -- things we do that aren't optimising the connexion with our partner. This is the time to expose them, acknowledge them, work through and abandon them.

... The issues. Not our partners!

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Thank you Aubyanne! That makes a lot of sense to me, and what you say strikes true to my nature. (You understand the Libra/Scorpio!!) I also have Virgo influences (Venus and Jupiter) so I tend to like to keep things neat in my relationships. The Aries seems to come out mixed with the Scorpio when everything finally becomes too much. I become akin to a firestorm. I have done that with my partner and made her cry in which the Libra swung back in and I ended up apologising.
I will have to bring this up before it does explode.
Unfortunately my partner is very stuck in her views, she even acknowledges that these same issues ended her last relationship and that if I so choose to be with her I need to deal with her moods (she is often very agitated or sullen), her work/fighting being before me and her lack of emotions/affection.
But with the Venus retrograde I wanna try and work through this, get the Aries in there to work with my Libra nature.
All I really want for her, is to just relax and enjoy life, smell the flowers and be at ease. To see that affection and emotions is not weakness. (You're right about her intimacy issues)

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