posted August 27, 2015 07:49 PM            

In synastry, I have my Deianira conjunct his NN, and his Deianira is conjunct my moon. Neither is aspected by Nessus.

In the composite, Nessus, also conjunct SN, trines Deianira, part of a grand trine involving Mars as the third object. . I think this is a positive note, showing how we can use the energy as a couple to drive our actions. By the way, they are in air signs.

posted August 27, 2015 08:08 PM            

PS Eros, Sappho and are also 28 Gem
Briede is also 26 Aquarius

posted August 28, 2015 08:56 PM            

The couple with NESSUS in aspect to DEJANIRA must understand they are each holding loaded guns trained on the other at all times -- and there will be moments in which it's extremely tempting to pull the trigger to save oneself from the burden of relating to the other. If it's soft, it's more likely to be loaded with blanks; but if hard, ohhhh, we'll say hollowpoint.

Why do they bring this with them? Many reasons. For starters, each's childhood is likely to be filled with resentments, disappointments, or downright abuses and violence. One, or both, may've not learnt how to properly forgive, and could be paying the price for familial cycles of abuse and violence in which they were embroiled and have much unresolved pain regarding it.

However, such a couple is likely to be returning with ghosts that echo from beyond their dysfunctional pasts -- into karmic retributions and unserved vengeance. These are spectres of abandonment and betrayal, haunting by way of violence, abuse, the ruthless desire to possess -- or destroy if possession is disallowed or refused.

Remember the loaded guns. Now know that the bullets are each marked with some previous unresolved pain: Abandonment, Betrayal, and Revenge (as it's always the last one; Atroposian, if we're to be mythic; that which cuts the thread permanently). The combined force of the power that propels them is anointed with the curse of 'I'll get you before you get me.'

This is NESSUS' ironic vow as he slipped into death's grip; it's DEJANIRA's desperate plea for the fidelity of her husband Heracles' fidelity.

... and it was all a lie.

NESSUS and DEJANIRA are fascinating as interpersonal energy, as the basis of all that they do is deception, manipulation, and subsequent vendetta -- the promise of assured vengeance. NESSUS desires DEJANIRA to the detriment of her own psychological health; he is disinterested in whether his advances or obsession is requited. He simply takes without asking; demands to possess without consent or confirmed mutual desire to be so possessed.

She is only saved by extraneous circumstances -- in the form of her own husband Heracles, who seeks merely control of his wife, and kills NESSUS for declaring himself such ardent competition. However, DEJANIRA believes, that her marriage could be beautiful if only her husband were truly faithful to her. And so NESSUS promises his would-be victim that she shall have what she most desires, only to proceed in exacting his revenge upon Heracles from beyond the grave. DEJANIRA soon discovers the depth of NESSUS' deception, which in turn terrorises Heracles with such menace he takes his own life to end it. DEJANIRA soon follows suit, overcome with her own grief.

What do we learn? What are the prevailing themes?

DEJANIRA is a victim; once a brave, powerful, beautiful warrior princess who has overcome unspeakable tragedy, she has succumbed to a marriage which appears excellent on paper, but is, in truth, just another from of control and abuse.

NESSUS is a product of abuse. He has never been taught civility and is unfazed by societal customs or even political paradigms. He is unhindered by social convention, moral implication or ethical consideration. Like an id on steroids, he possesses what he desires, with neither thought nor care to its consequences. He acts on instinct, and is equipped with a powerful, unrestrained drive to acquire whatever is sought.

We can't help but see how the two are gunpowder, ready to ignite.

Trouble is, were DEJANIRA savvy, confident, and unafraid, she'd never have been swayed by NESSUS' deceptions, as it required her own desperate desire to believe his lies, which allowed her to succumb to them, and tragedy to prevail. Further, were NESSUS civilised, ethical and principled, he would never have dared to acquire DEJANIRA by force, instead using his masterful manipulation to reveal to get the unfortunate truths of her miserable marriage. He would have become confidante, adviser, and, most of all, the one to illuminate the most uncomfortable and painful truths -- which DEJANIRA keeps to herself so as to continue enduring the status quo.

We would have a very, very different story.

So then, how do we do that, in the here and now? How do we operate with a courageous and savvy DEJANIRA, who refuses to allow herself to be victimised -- by anyone? How do we utilise the relentless drive of NESSUS, ruthless in pursuit of that which we most desire, while doing so in an ethical, considerate, and civilised manner?

Ahhhh. It's tricky.

In some ways, the very nature of each is what allows them to be what they are: The Victim and The Mastermind. It's only through the school of hard knocks has each graduated with so thorough an education that they were ready and primed to devastate each other -- and their lives (including whomever was in it).

The Victim has a few virtues: she has hope, and the power of belief. She will give the benefit of the doubt, at the cost of her own needs, ego, and safety. She is deeply devoted, and loyal -- to a fault, in fact. But she overlooks and forgives in service of maintaining harmony and upholding the status quo.

The Mastermind, on the other hand, often despises the status quo, and is forever seeking to bend it to his will, shaping and remaking it in the image of what he so desires. He is cunning and ruthless in his attainment of anything that he desires and realising his vision. He will stop at nothing, to manipulate, deceive, betray and beguile -- so long as he gets what he wants.

But just as we can find redeeming qualities of The Victim, so is The Mastermind capable of more than perpetrating evil in the name of conceit.

He is also untouched by criticism and praise alike; should he find himself devoted to a great cause or movement, societal perception is meaningless, and no matter of intimidation, fear of ostracisation or promise of retribution will deter him. He's already seen most of it and lives to tell the tale -- and solitarily, at that. Should a great artist or scientist be donned by The Mastermind, he will move mountains and change the world with the sheer force of his desire to manifest into being, or possess what he will not cease to have.

So, within DEJANIRA, we have the innate ability to overlook petty grievances and protect our greater interests. We can infuse our relationships with the dream of hope and a powerful loyalty, or be deceived, abused, and prefer to celebrate the status quo -- even material ideals -- at the cost of our own health and happiness.

We can choose whether or not to don the hat of The Victim or the Warrior Queen.

As with NESSUS, do we have the potential to perform -- dare I say, Herculean feats: requiring indomitable will, and the ability to stop at nothing to obtain our desired outcome -- be it a person or purpose. We can temper, but not destroy, this drive with civility, ethics, morality, and principles to guide our vision and its ultimate realisation.

Or we can suffer the greater consequences of succumbing to the demands of The Mastermind, where our perseverance is perverted into ruthlessness, and our will corrupted by the absence of empathy.

And that's what brings me to our final point. What is missing from NESSUS and DEJANIRA both: honesty, empathy, and the formation of proper boundaries. Were DEJANIRA not damaged, she would have been bold enough to leave her marriage. Were NESSUS not corrupted, he wouldn't have dared possess DEJANIRA without her consent.

Now, note that I said her consent. NESSUS still has little need for society and respect for its rules. Of course, he can become civilised. In which case, he would seek not only DEJANIRA's consent -- but her husband's as well!

Ahh, it's no mystery why we tend to find NESSUS present in relationships that challenge the status quo or convention in some way; pushing boundaries and taking great risks to obtain personal benefit. There must be a certain disregard for societal convention and the status quo in order to chance such things; one can't fear being made a pariah. The desire must be strong enough to withstand discouragement, disappointment, and even rejection.

And so the greater fault then would lay with DEJANIRA; her greatest lesson being to overcome her own victim mentality; to remember that she is a warrior queen, and behave as such. Not to be deceived, abused, and mistreated in any form.

In these newer, enlightened, and transformed states, the concept of NESSUS is an incredible force of will -- obsessive in his pursuit of DEJANIRA, a loyal and devoted warrior queen. He must simply remember the power of consent, as she, too, must never falter in the security of her own identity and its high esteem. Both must regard the other with respect and honesty. Games of manipulation will topple the whole house of cards.

Let's return to the loaded guns now, bearing in mind that both are assured of the other's loyalty, respectful of one another, and fear no abandonment by, or retribution of, the other.

It may be difficult to endure such a relationship; there's a great -- I'd even say, exceptional -- amount of trust that's required for its success. Both must not only trust each other, but themselves. We would only do harm to an enemy, but not a friend; and never our beloved. It's also no surprise why they appear so often in synastries where the couple is engaged in BDSM dynamics. This is an excellent way to explore such issues surrounding trust, loyalty, genuine (even unconditional) love, and fears of abandonment. Though DEJA must take care that her unconditional love never endangers herself, or her lover.

It may be tough, but then changing the world, leading by example, and implementing new paradigms -- never is.

posted August 28, 2015 11:47 PM            

I feel like you nailed it. But there is so much still to consider and digest. Key point- HONESTY.

Edit: I re-read it. Looking at my natal chart, with Deja close to my own SN... sextile my moon, and trine my sun

I feel this relationship is karmic and I must learn to act not as a victim, but as the warrior. I feel love for this person, this man, as empathy. But I cannot allow this abuse to continue, this victimization of myself. It is not his fault it is happening, it is mine for allowing it. I HAVE to say no. Either he will step up and show honor and integrity in his actions and pursue me, or he won't. But that seems to be the karmic lesson in this lifetime. He is most definitely a soulmate, but I believe he is karmic. This lesson is for us both, but I must learn to stand up for myself.