posted October 06, 2015 09:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Welcome to LL.

Is your relationship unconventional or more traditional?
Do either of you have issues with intimacy and commitment?
Are you both emotionally available?
Do either of you have a strong independent streak?
Are either of you from a broken home with a childhood marked by instability?

---

posted October 06, 2015 10:31 PM            

I'll tell you what I recently told someone else here, who's dealing with some Uranian issues.

You believe the old adage 'if you love someone, set them free'? Uranian energy forces us to confront the deepest insecurities within ourselves, so that we will gain true independence, free from expectation and not at the cost of commitment or obligation. In other words, people show their truest colours when we free them to be themselves -- without expectation or obligation.

I'd say his and my relationship is more akin to 'best friends with benefits'. We don't do the romance thing, and our sexual relationship is quite dispassionate. Nonetheless, we love each other as deeply as we're capable of doing, and are 'conjoined twins linked at the muse' -- as he's said.

He refuses to have a mobile phone, as it's 'an electronic leash', and we mostly stay in contact through email. We don't tell each other we love each other much (but when we do, it's deeply felt) and it doesn't change the depth or truth of our love. He also rarely kisses me -- when he does, though, it's powerfully meaningful; there must be a great, driving emotional force that propels it. He's not above vanishing for a few days without contact, or going MIA, as it were. But he always resurfaces, and was submerged in work. Or caring for his elderly mother. Or booked on set for a long 12-hour day, slept the next one, worked out and recorded his latest book the one after that. Typically.

I've never once been concerned he's been anything less than genuine or trustworthy. And I've had everything lead me to think -- in logical terms -- I'm a fool for it. But it's always been true. He's one of the rare ones; who's too much of a lone wolf and a hermit to be doing anything but retreating to his cave once the external world, or a tide of emotions, washes up at his door.

To me, it's taught me how to truly love -- and live -- without expectation. To trust in someone despite my insecurities. To seek a 'higher love' -- which isn't restricted to the conventions of 'Earthly love', or abide by its dictates. It requires a greater inner calm, knowing, and self-sufficiency. It doesn't allow codependency -- or dependency of any kind.

I hated his refusal to have a mobile phone, but over time, I've slowly come to respect it. He used to be an officer in the military; I need not fear that he can't get from here (LA) to San Francisco without a mobile, in order to visit his oldest childhood friend and family. And yet, we take these modern conveniences almost for granted. He doesn't. He's ... rather hidebound and extremely old-fashioned in some ways.

He's also quite uncompromising in his independence and solitude, but such is the schizoid man. We women aren't so different, unless we fall in love. Aye, there's the rub! They, however, can continue on in their usual mode, flying solo, and loving you when they emerge from their mind and internal world. Most often, however, that's where they dwell; in a land of cerebral imagination and dream. Population: one. But when they allow us to share within it, in those brief sojourns, it's nothing short of magical.

So it's taught me more than I ever bargained for, about love, life, and myself. I really did hate it, the first two years. But now, I'm starting to see the greater design -- the higher logic. The mad genius of it all.

posted October 06, 2015 11:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Wow! That's a lot like the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I'm also his first real girlfriend, and intimate relationship. Though, I must say I use the term quite loosely. We're both fiercely independent, and rather emotional unavailable. I've been learning to be more so, however, and he's dedicated to continuing to learn how. He'd likely be a monk -- or just a creative recluse, were it not for me.

I'll tell you what I recently told someone else here, who's dealing with some Uranian issues.

You believe the old adage 'if you love someone, set them free'? Uranian energy forces us to confront the deepest insecurities within ourselves, so that we will gain true independence, free from expectation and not at the cost of commitment or obligation. In other words, people show their truest colours when we free them to be themselves -- without expectation or obligation.

I'd say his and my relationship is more akin to 'best friends with benefits'. We don't do the romance thing, and our sexual relationship is quite dispassionate. Nonetheless, we love each other as deeply as we're capable of doing, and are 'conjoined twins linked at the muse' -- as he's said.

He refuses to have a mobile phone, as it's 'an electronic leash', and we mostly stay in contact through email. We don't tell each other we love each other much (but when we do, it's deeply felt) and it doesn't change the depth or truth of our love. He also rarely kisses me -- when he does, though, it's powerfully meaningful; there must be a great, driving emotional force that propels it. He's not above vanishing for a few days without contact, or going MIA, as it were. But he always resurfaces, and was submerged in work. Or caring for his elderly mother. Or booked on set for a long 12-hour day, slept the next one, worked out and recorded his latest book the one after that. Typically.

I've never once been concerned he's been anything less than genuine or trustworthy. And I've had everything lead me to think -- in logical terms -- I'm a fool for it. But it's always been true. He's one of the rare ones; who's too much of a lone wolf and a hermit to be doing anything but retreating to his cave once the external world, or a tide of emotions, washes up at his door.

To me, it's taught me how to truly love -- and live -- without expectation. To trust in someone despite my insecurities. To seek a 'higher love' -- which isn't restricted to the conventions of 'Earthly love', or abide by its dictates. It requires a greater inner calm, knowing, and self-sufficiency. It doesn't allow codependency -- or dependency of any kind.

I hated his refusal to have a mobile phone, but over time, I've slowly come to respect it. He used to be an officer in the military; I need not fear that he can't get from here (LA) to San Francisco without a mobile, in order to visit his oldest childhood friend and family. And yet, we take these modern conveniences almost for granted. He doesn't. He's ... rather hidebound and extremely old-fashioned in some ways.

He's also quite uncompromising in his independence and solitude, but such is the schizoid man. We women aren't so different, unless we fall in love. Aye, there's the rub! They, however, can continue on in their usual mode, flying solo, and loving you when they emerge from their mind and internal world. Most often, however, that's where they dwell; in a land of cerebral imagination and dream. Population: one. But when they allow us to share within it, in those brief sojourns, it's nothing short of magical.

So it's taught me more than I ever bargained for, about love, life, and myself. I really did hate it, the first two years. But now, I'm starting to see the greater design -- the higher logic. The mad genius of it all.

Maybe you will, too.

---