posted November 05, 2015 01:52 AM            

It's of special interest to me, as I'm married with a boyfriend, with whom I've been for the past 2 years. My husband has had his girlfriend since April. My boyfriend and I are polyfidelitous; he is committed to me, and I am committed to him and my husband only. My husband's girlfriend is free to engage in other relationships, but the D/s (dominant-submissive) dynamics of their relationship have made it to where she's de facto exclusive with my husband.

Prior to our marriage, my husband was open-married to an asexual woman, who is the mother of my stepdaughter (whom I love absolutely to bits). He took casual partners throughout it, as her main focus was to have a child, rather then a sexual relationship. They lacked a fundamental compatibility which, I feel, is necessary to make such an arrangement and lifestyle work. We might be able to see that in synastry, or even the natal; whether one is predisposed to being oriented towards polyamory, or might prefer an open marriage, or nonmonogamous relationship. Some will prefer to be one-way open, where only one partner of the marriage has other partners, or they might be 'open all the way', in which both spouses conduct other relationships.

Composites and standard synastry all welcome; we'll also be exploring the multicomposite, and how it reflects the 'unit' as a whole, whether it be comprised of members of a polyfidelity family, an open marriage plus one partner, a polyamorous household, and so on.

We'll also explore certain asteroids and points which could prove very helpful in identifying polyamorous patterns in a natal; Martha Lang-Wescott identified that LILITH (1181) is often seen in relationship to multiple sexual partners, for example.

We will NOT simply be exploring love triangles, or anything in which betrayal and deception are features. That's not polyamory -- that's infidelity. In a poly family or arrangement, everything is above board, on the level, and painstakingly negotiated. There is honesty, respect, and tonnes of communication, in order to keep things that way. We can look at charts in comparative relationship to each other, focussing upon one partner with multiple relationships -- or is considering doing so.

So, grab your charts and have a seat. You, your boyfriend, his girlfriend, and her wife -- are all welcome here.

posted November 05, 2015 03:46 AM            

It's just difficult to broach anything like polyamory with "normal" people, or especially as his wife had a bit of a scare some five years back when someone messed with their relationship, wanting him to leave his wife for her. I don't think I could ever do something like that to the sweetheart, although in my case it's also because I have the astrology and can see the many exact aspects between them, and how he's so clearly meant to be with her, no matter some certain sides that are missing from his life, too. Not that I couldn't tell how much he loves his wife in any case even without astrology, but from my point of view, with the kind of knowledge background that I have, I can also see that he'd NEED a polyamorous secondary partner to take some of the burden of some sides (if and while his wife isn't interested in taking the time or putting the effort in making their relationship balanced on that front). Just doesn't make it easier to bring to the table (to his wife) that there may well be some people out there who wouldn't be a threat to her or their marriage, wishing it well, but maybe also wanting to see her husband happier, which'd hopefully make him happier in his marriage as well instead of leading to any misery or grief as the one time emotional mess five years ago. When I first pointed it out to him that he'd need a polyamorous relationship, also meant that in general, since I don't live near him and someone else might be better suited for whatever their "needs" or wishes.

I'm not polyamorous that I'd know, nor in love with him, but already in a short time have tremendous love for him (SN conjunct his Valentine? And her Juno), and have him telling me I know more about him than anyone in such a short time. Wouldn't want to hurt him or his marriage or love with his wife, so have to see how things go, and if knowing me will patch up whatever hurts he's still carrying from five years ago, having to be careful I don't inadvertently tear open old wounds. Unless to cleanse them to properly heal, if something such is necessary? DC-Chiron and Chiron opp Sun contacts, am only able to hope for the best with those.

Know he's not my "ultimate" partner per se by charts as well as his being so attached, but as a person he's among the best seen, and shares many interests with me, so have been joking that if I get something as wonderful as him in my life already before any "final" partner type person, I have no idea what kind of a god that one will be. Have never had anyone thank me for being his friend but got that as well out of the blue this morning, both of us having had our reasons to need the contact. So as said, I have to see what all happens when we've already gone through so much in such a short time.

posted November 05, 2015 04:04 AM            

Sometimes I wish I refused those who insisted on monogamy. I had an "in" to the polyamory crowd, but I lost it in my monogamous relationships. I'd regret losing some relationships and experiences I've had going monogamous, but I can't help but wonder who and what I'd regret missing had I gone the other way.