posted November 16, 2015 09:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
who and how it has been decided that each one of the people on your list is a karmic soulmate or a companion soulmate? That doesn't sound very...sensible. I understand your need to have nothing less but soulmates dealing with you, but maybe you need to accept the fact that your relationships are just plain and ordinary.
I appreciate your scepticism, again. I'm not going by the calculator. Just my personal experience. Each of my most significant relationships were first written of in novels from 1994 to, about, 2010. In utter frustration, I basically wrote a dark dramedy to deal with the insanity, deciding my heroine was actually the target of a major conspiracy. Heh! That was a fun project.
I don't think I've had 'ordinary' relationships. I could be wrong, but ... I dunno. Seems unlikely. If anything, my husband is the most ordinary, and he's the one most like one of the main guys from the 2001 project. I'd say that's the same one from which Jack's archetype came, but he precedes it. Significantly. I think, maybe, that's what informed 'his' character's physical appearance, however.
Each one of my exes (or, in rare cases, not-exes, heh) was an exact match for the hero of whatever story in which my current self-insert was starring. (It happens.) But the one that has the most unusual origins is whatever the archetype that relates most to Jack is.
Or, for simplicity's sake, 'my imaginary friend come to life' or 'literal man of my dreams' -- and so on.
I'll explain.
I first 'met' the archetype in '94 in what would become a series of recurring dreams. (I think it was half-lucid dimensional travelling; it'd take until this year to do so with full lucidity.) He was in his latter twenties -- the archetype, not Jack.
Though they were both in their late twenties at the time, I can't possibly assert it was actually him on some astral level. These are things from literally decades ago, and I kick myself for not being a visual artist. All I have are words. Recounting eye colour, (blue) the shade of his hair in several different lighting environments (golden, almost strawberry blonde then) build that was lankier than it is now. Tall. Maybe a foot taller than me (I was barely 5'2" then.) That's the only record I have of those first 'appearances'.
I use the term archetype because that's what they've become. There are about 6 distinct (male) archetypes that are weirdly resonant with my soul group, or my karmic soulmates in specific -- something. Because they all appeared on my radar first in the pages of my fiction. (And, in some cases, also related to other fictional archetypes I'd not created, but was powerfully drawn to. Almost like amalgams.)
Of the 6, only Jack's is distinctive and yet, recurring. In other words, he's the only one of the archetypes that relates to this constellation of traits and physical appearance -- even if he's 'featuring' elsewhere. In recurring dreams for several years -- yes. But also as the most unique character I've ever created. And then AGAIN, in another project of mine, but created by one of my writers. Still -- it was obviously him. I even showed the writer, and she was pretty blown away.
Looking back, I wasn't sure why ONLY that archetype -- his -- was appearing in various forms. Across the spectrum -- and twice with dissociative identity issues. Hah! (One I'd created, another that was my writer's.) Weird. I was also absolutely certain he couldn't exist. He's too ... unique.
The other archetypes are believable. Brunette, for one. All bloody brunettes. I'm not even sure I'm that into blonde guys. I mean, as a young girl, I was never drawn -- outside of this one guy. He grew into a dark blonde; always had brown eyes though. But man, when I started seeing 'Dream Archetype Guy' -- I dunno. I wasn't particularly attracted to it. It was just -- okay, he's, ah, a bit on the Arian side of physical appearances. Heh.
So they're all otherwise brunette. Hazel eyes, of varying shade and depth. Various builds. And they ALL also 'appear' in the novel series which became The Big Karma Clearing project. It's essentially all the Big Karma in one big creative project. In which, of course, the Dream Guy archetype / Jack's most resonant archetype literally stars.
But here's a sketch-up of the other 5.
The Paranoid Crusader / Schizoid Truthseeker -- the 'Mulder' type. He's the Companion Karmic Soulmate that taught me what true love was. Appeared twice before. He eventually got to play 'his' character, which always feels like a weird closing-of-a-loop or something to me. So, it's all good.
The Lovable Psychopath -- he's a tricky sort. He's a jokester and a trickster, hot as hell and awfully charismatic. You know he's kind of a womaniser, and wonder if you're really going to be the one to tame the beast. He's highly intelligent but doesn't tend to apply himself. He's rarely homicidal -- but sometimes. He could probably kill someone, so it's best to keep that in mind.
Two karmic soulmates and one companion match this type. One of them became an archetype all his own, because he ended up creating and playing that character. Closest match is still the Lovable Psychopath with a little Truthseeker thrown in. (That one's an actual schizoid, too.)
Former Mafioso / Mass Murderer -- he's a toughie, too. Bad Vader-esque genocidal nightmares. Feels like his soul is 'unclean'. Memories of being high-level SS, which include the rough realisation of having killed me probably a few spins around the karmic wheel. Sometimes a brother or relative in politically powerful family. Always scheming. Karmic soulmate. Mostly cleared. Feels like he'll never quite be out of my life, and I'll always periodically be therapising him, even if he's also a psychologist. (That one has a fascinating role in the big project.)
Huh. Okay, well, make that 4 total. I'm thinking that's it.
One of the karmic soulmates -- the homicidal offender one I'd mentioned -- actually was the one to bring karma into it. He'd said that he killed me 'in a past life' and was 'probably going to have to again'. Yeah. I've already seen how that went down. Not pretty.
He's kind of a warped match for a part of the archetype which Jack matches exactly -- the darkest aspect. In all, there's been three who have carried any resonance at all to that one. And all but Jack has lacked all features -- in some form. Even if it's just an overwhelming conscience that could become a dangerous proponent of vigilante justice. But, yes -- INCLUDING that. And no one else has the voice.
Even THAT I remember from the dreams. That became one of the character's most distinctive features -- that VOICE. I've honestly yet to hear anything quite like it. Robert Picardo's cadence is similar, but it lacks the resonance and depth. Hugo Weaving's got a bit of it -- especially in his role as 'V'. Michael Sheen comes closest that I've ever seen. I'm VERY keyed into that voice, and I'd NEVER heard it outside of my own head before meeting Jack.
So, that's a nutshell. I call them 'karmic soulmates' because it's easy. Really, they're multidimensional soul-family with whom I have outstanding karma. A number of them have been lovers, and matched one of the archetypes I'd mentioned.
All completely -- except until I met Jack. No one had matched THAT one exactly. I didn't think anyone ever could.
Hope that provides a bit of clarity.
Lindaland
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posted November 16, 2015 05:37 AM
