posted November 25, 2015 05:18 PM            

I feel so perplexed and used and stupid.

He's best friends with my besties bf. He always had a thing for me tho but I was occupied when he first came around. A few years pass and he still would show interest but I didn't really look at him cuz I felt he may be like my bff's bf cuz birds of a feather flock together right? I didn't like how he treated my friend so I thought it was best to stay away from his friend.

Fast forward to now and we ran into each other a clicked or so I thought. We hang out for a few days it was so nice...he was so sweet and gentle and calm....then we had sex and then bam done!

This dude even took me home and walked me all the way to my door and kissed me goodbye he was such a gentleman. He even asked what I would be doing the next day and I told him working but to give me call.

While we were together he told be how he wanted me since 2007 and how beautiful he thinks I am. I'm not always inclined to think that when men say these things they are lying. I am beautiful. So I went with the flow.

He didn't hit me up the next two days and then I sent him a text just saying "hola"

He replies immediately telling me how tired he is and that he was dropping his children off home. With periods after each word. Really cold. So I sent him a text saying sorry to hear that. Then nothing.

I also called a few days later like maybe 7 days later and nothing.

So I sent a final text saying that I'll see him around. Nada.

I didn't know aquas could be so ruthless. I'm so hurt. It's not that I was in love but I hate feeling stupid and played. I also really enjoyed his company and sex and he really seemed to feel the same way..

It's hard to believe people could really do things like this.

I know I will never get closure but damn I just feel so hurt played right now. Been licking my wounds for a week.

I had a hell of a few years actually a life when it comes to matters of the heart...I just want a glimpse of happiness. I'm getting a complex and it hurts.

I dated a Leo who sucked the life out of me between 2014-2015

Then I met up with a old cap friend who went on one date with me and then I didn't call or text appropriately so he got all mean when I did contact him. I called and we got disconnected or so I thought when I called back he yelled into the phone why am I calling back and that he wishes it was his ex calling him.

Now this.

I am going through my Saturn return so I'm guessing this what people mean by a **** storm. I also lost my job but thankfully i got two jnew ones lost my apartment too.

I feel so much pain right now tho

posted November 25, 2015 05:24 PM            

Why do people do things like this?

posted November 25, 2015 05:35 PM            

Astrologically it's hard to say which factors would describe this situation. Astrology seems more complex, non-linear and mysterious than causative to me, which is why I would hesitate to say anything astrological caused this.. it's a piece of a huge 3D puzzle which is life and the existence of everything...

posted November 25, 2015 05:51 PM            

I'm pretty cynical I must say..
I'm an Aries myself, but I have Capricorn in my chart.... and I don't normally trust people within a few days of knowing them.

I know that technically you had met him previously - but you were never close and hadn't really "talked" until very recently. And, as you said yourself - "birds of a feather stick together etc"... So..... why suddenly trust the guy?

I'll call a spade a spade here.
Yes. People can be HUGE jerks. HUGE!
Much worse than what you went through here.

You cannot trust someone in a few days. It doesn't matter what their Sun sign is. You have to get to know them properly. This is not an Aquarius thing. This is just a jerk thing!

I mean, if you are sure that you only want something casual - then sure, you can sleep with the guy in a few days.
But if you wanted more .... it was too early.

From what you told us here, he never said anything about being with you, in a more serious way.
You have to watch people's words.
He said he always wanted you (sexually) - and that you are beautiful (physically)... Not that he wanted a relationship.

I feel like this whole situation is actually a good learning opportunity for you and it's not actually a negative thing overall - as it may seem now.
In retrospect, when you look back on this - you will feel like - you are wiser and more analytical as a result of this experience.

To find the right person, you need to be able to split the wheat from the chaff. Don't ever be too sweet or too nice with people, for the sake of being romantic.
If you absolutely want a relationship (not a casual fling) - then you need to get to know that person inside and out - and ask them some serious life-questions before you get closer on a physical level.
You need to know WHO they are.

If they are scared of serious questions - then they can take the exit.
Because a guy who is serious about you - would be honest and open about who he is, about his life, where he is at - and the fact that he is ready for a relationship.
And he would stick around for longer than a few days, as a friend.

posted November 25, 2015 06:09 PM            

Pisces Moon people can try very hard to live up to everyone's expectations, to keep everyone happy... and they perpetually feel like they are not good enough.

This type of thinking is self-damaging and it is not at all true.
I'm sure there are many people in your life who appreciate and love you very much and they are the ones who deserve your affection and attention!

Clearly these guys have (and had) their own issues - and they probably behaved badly with any number of other women (regardless of the synastry).

posted November 25, 2015 06:19 PM            

Still, the whole victim-blaming rape culture would have it that you got played, you're stupid for letting him take advantage, yadayada. That inner critic you have playing has its source in this old story.

Let's turn that on its head and say instead: he acted like an ******* , played you, and he's stupid for taking advantage and being unkind and insensitive.

posted November 25, 2015 06:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Ok.... Umm....

I'm pretty cynical I must say..
I'm an Aries myself, but I have Capricorn in my chart.... and I don't normally trust people within a few days of knowing them.

I know that technically you had met him previously - but you were never close and hadn't really "talked" until very recently. And, as you said yourself - "birds of a feather stick together etc"... So..... why suddenly trust the guy?

I'll call a spade a spade here.
Yes. People can be HUGE jerks. HUGE!
Much worse than what you went through here.

You cannot trust someone in a few days. It doesn't matter what their Sun sign is. You have to get to know them properly. This is not an Aquarius thing. This is just a jerk thing!

I mean, if you are sure that you only want something casual - then sure, you can sleep with the guy in a few days.
But if you wanted more .... it was too early.

From what you told us here, he never said anything about being with you, in a more serious way.
You have to watch people's words.
He said he always wanted you (sexually) - and that you are beautiful (physically)... Not that he wanted a relationship.

I feel like this whole situation is actually a good learning opportunity for you and it's not actually a negative thing overall - as it may seem now.
In retrospect, when you look back on this - you will feel like - you are wiser and more analytical as a result of this experience.

To find the right person, you need to be able to split the wheat from the chaff. Don't ever be too sweet or too nice with people, for the sake of being romantic.
If you absolutely want a relationship (not a casual fling) - then you need to get to know that person inside and out - and ask them some serious life-questions before you get closer on a physical level.
You need to know WHO they are.

If they are scared of serious questions - then they can take the exit.
Because a guy who is serious about you - would be honest and open about who he is, about his life, where he is at - and the fact that he is ready for a relationship.
And he would stick around for longer than a few days, as a friend.

The people who care - are genuine friends! They don't drop you.. and you don't feel pressured to have sex within 5 days.

---

Hi Odette, thanks for your reply. I don't think I mentioned wanting a relationship Or he wanting one either just want to make that clear.

I slept with him because we had chemistry and I was horny point blank. I didn't think we would magically evolve into anything serious at all.

But it is hurtful after what I thought was a wonderful encounter for someone to just up and disappear. I want more sex and more fun. I don't get why he got weird.

I know what your saying about Pisces moon but I don't try to make everyone happy but I do wear rose colored glasses often, and I don't see people for who they really are. But I am not a people pleaser.

The possibility of this guy just vanishing after I slept with him didn't even cross my mind, I was having such a good time.

Naturally I'm questioning myself now, like was the sex bad? Did I smell? Was he lying about having a good time and wanting to see me again.

posted November 25, 2015 07:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Specifically I'm wondering how that Leo/Aquarius axis/polarity plays into your chart, given that you also felt betrayed/used by a Leo Sun... there's always more to it than Sun signs but it's a powerful amazing gorgeous star and definitely telling!

---

My Leo was soooooo controlling and mean spirited. I have a Venus opposition to pluto so I always encounter people who want to change me and control me and I myself can be obsessive about love/men.

He didn't like my friends, complained when I went to see my family....with held affection, tried to withhold money he owed for a bill in my name, threatened to put unsavory pics of me on social media, broke my tablet. I could go on. Always telling me I wasn't doing enough or spending enough time of showing him enough affection. Mind you he barely supported me in anything I did.

Very selfish and self centered. If he felt I was more knowledgable about something than he was he get mean and curt. We had some really explosive arguments but I'm so glad it's over....lasted about 1 year. I'm ready to put it behind me.

posted November 25, 2015 07:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Something else I wanted to say is... please don't take the behavior of these men personally, or feel like it is a reflection on you - in some way...

Pisces Moon people can try very hard to live up to everyone's expectations, to keep everyone happy... and they perpetually feel like they are not good enough.

This type of thinking is self-damaging and it is not at all true.
I'm sure there are many people in your life who appreciate and love you very much and they are the ones who deserve your affection and attention!

Clearly these guys have (and had) their own issues - and they probably behaved badly with any number of other women (regardless of the synastry).

When a person has unresolved issues, they can be toxic to everyone around them - even those they have awesome synastry with.

---

I hear you and I agree. I didnt feel pressured to have sex tho...we went on two dates and we had slot of chemistry I went with the flow.

Now these other men who have come into my life it just keeps happening. I really attract what seems to be the bottom of the barrel. Yet I meet great women who always want to help me in life. It's so strange.

posted November 25, 2015 07:55 PM            

I see what you mean... I thought that you were more emotionally attached to him, because you seemed really down - so I didn't realize it was just a fun sexual thing.

If you are just wondering - what in the world happened... and why he won't keep things going - on a purely casual level.... imo... it's likely because he is sexist/old fashioned - and does not comprehend that women can likewise want *just* sex.

So, he thinks that he has to *split*, before you tie him to your bedpost, never to see the light of day again...
Kind of like the cliché of the guy who has a one night stand and leaves stealthily in the middle of the night (out of guilt, e.g. coming from a religious upbringing - or, out of fear of being trapped).

This is pure sexism... imo

posted November 25, 2015 07:58 PM            

quote:

---

The possibility of this guy just vanishing after I slept with him didn't even cross my mind, I was having such a good time.

Naturally I'm questioning myself now, like was the sex bad? Did I smell? Was he lying about having a good time and wanting to see me again.

---

It wasn't anything like the sex being bad...
He is being a sexist loser.

He might still end up calling you again for sex, because this "type" of guy does that.
But they don't completely understand the concept of an FWB relationship.

It sounds like you wanted something like FWB, casual but fun and enjoyable.

Whereas he thinks he has to either - hit it and split... OR... have a full blown serious relationship.
^ If he's sexist he will not understand that there exist shades of grey between those two extremes.

posted November 25, 2015 08:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Specifically I'm wondering how that Leo/Aquarius axis/polarity plays into your chart, given that you also felt betrayed/used by a Leo Sun... there's always more to it than Sun signs but it's a powerful amazing gorgeous star and definitely telling!

---

I felt used by Aqua....trapped and abused by Leo

posted November 25, 2015 08:15 PM            

The synastry matters a lot!
Sun signs won't tell you so much.

Even when you look at just Sun Signs - it's important to see what decan your Suns are in, what aspects the Suns make in each natal chart, and the respective house placements.
And of course the Sun2Sun synastry will be more intensely felt when the planets are actually *in* aspect to each other.

posted November 26, 2015 05:03 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by AriesKat:
I can't think of one thing that prompted this besides him wanting to conquer and that's it.

---

posted November 26, 2015 05:05 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
I'll call a spade a spade here. ... This is just a jerk thing!

... I feel like this whole situation is actually a good learning opportunity for you and it's not actually a negative thing overall - as it may seem now.
In retrospect, when you look back on this - you will feel like - you are wiser and more analytical as a result of this experience.

---

posted November 29, 2015 05:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by AriesKat:
Hi Odette, thanks for your reply. I don't think I mentioned wanting a relationship Or he wanting one either just want to make that clear.

I slept with him because we had chemistry and I was horny point blank. I didn't think we would magically evolve into anything serious at all.

But it is hurtful after what I thought was a wonderful encounter for someone to just up and disappear. I want more sex and more fun. I don't get why he got weird.

I know what your saying about Pisces moon but I don't try to make everyone happy but I do wear rose colored glasses often, and I don't see people for who they really are. But I am not a people pleaser.

The possibility of this guy just vanishing after I slept with him didn't even cross my mind, I was having such a good time.

Naturally I'm questioning myself now, like was the sex bad? Did I smell? Was he lying about having a good time and wanting to see me again.

I'm going through the natural motions of being rejected it hurts.

---

my take. he may have felt what he said. he may have even wanted to see you when he told you so. but when things are too early, feelings flips from one side to the other. if he did not enjoy the experience, he would have not accompanied to your house and told you how beautiful you are. he would have made an excuse. unless he did it to avoid drama and save himself the trouble of you asking or nagging. so he pretended wanting to see you again when in reality it was one night stand for him.

it is difficult to tell as we are not in his mind. sometimes you sleep with somebody earlier and this develops into a relationship . so not necesesarily you went too fast.

what I agree with Odette is that when sex get in the way we dont think and evaluate things properly and then important features, commonalities, etc are not considered because we got so horny to even see red flags... I remember i did not wanted to sleep with my ex-husband when i met him until one month later. not to play hard to get, but i was afraid that this would not allow me to think properly and get to know him better before letting the passionate side to show up..

on the other hand.. it may have happened he had a good time, he may have thought in calling you when he wanted to see you and then you called when he was tired and ****** off. nothing wrong from you, but it was not the right moment? most aquarious like the chasing and then to like whatever they cannot have. they love the idea of things, not the actual things. i cannot say what would have happened if you have not called, but I dare to say that he may have called at some point. but hard to predict these things.

I have a rule of thumb.. the distance from A to B is the same from B to A.. why should be me the one calling? if he is interested, he should call and if he does not, he is not into me, so why do i need to experience rejection when i know he is not into me? specially with aquarious.. i cannot think of an aquarious that would fall with attention, the fall for unavailability and sense of freedom.. whatever becomes real, tangible and available becomes boring

posted November 29, 2015 10:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by nordicsoul:
... when sex get in the way we dont think and evaluate things properly and then important features, commonalities, etc are not considered because we got so horny to even see red flags... I remember i did not wanted to sleep with my ex-husband when i met him until one month later. not to play hard to get, but i was afraid that this would not allow me to think properly and get to know him better before letting the passionate side to show up..

---

That's really wise, nordic. While completely foreign to an ace, I have to applaud your forethought and wisdom to hold off on the neurological cocktail that sexual relations offers.

posted December 01, 2015 04:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
That's really wise, nordic. While completely foreign to an ace, I have to applaud your forethought and wisdom to hold off on the neurological cocktail that sexual relations offers.

Well done.

---

posted December 01, 2015 06:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by AriesKat:
I didn't like how he treated my friend so I thought it was best to stay away from his friend.

---

To me, this is where it should have ended.

As the saying goes, When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

We Pisces moons want to help, give second chances, reform and support people...but for us, really....

Believe them the first time. Believe it when they act like a jerk. There is always a lot more where that came from. :-/