Author
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Topic: Obsessed with him and he doesn't feel the same
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SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 12:03 PM
I'm obsessed with this one guy. Every time I see his picture on Facebook or randomly think about him I get goosebumps and that giddy feeling of butterflies in my stomach. It's so odd because I haven't had a crush like that since elementary school (I'm almost 24). The thing is, he doesn't share my feelings. I think my Aries Venus is too forward and abrasive for his Pisces Sun and Venus. I don't know why I'm obsessed since we don't have the classic Venus-Pluto obsession aspect. I've NEVER felt this obsessed about any guy before, not even an ex. I'm so enthralled and in awe of him and he's just perfect in every way to me. I'm guessing my sun exactly conjunct his Ascendant is why I am physically into him in a huge way. My Venus sextile Mars explains why I'm sexually attracted to him in like a very obsessive way. My Juno is also conjunct his Mercury and Amor. But, like I said, he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, so how do I get over him?! I feel like I'm trying but certain synastry aspects make it so hard that it almost seems downright impossible . IP: Logged |
margym0o Knowflake Posts: 638 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 01:47 PM
I'm in no way an expert but I'll point out a couple things...House overlays seem to be in your favour. He does exemplify your "ideal" partner in a couple ways...Your sun on his ASC which you already mentioned and his sun on your MC which is your secondary DSC ruler. His Mars in your 8th (hot). I think the biggest thing is your Venus square his Uranus/Neptune. Double hit of electric feels and idealization to your love planet. Uranus acts as that lightning bolt "love at first sight" type feeling to get things going but can also be very unstable, and then Neptune swoops in to cloud your judgment and make him seem dreamier then he probably is. Your Pluto square his Mars adds that obsessive flavour and the compulsion to act on your feelings. There are some nice aspects though. Moon-Moon is very nice as is his Venus to your Sun, to name a couple. If it's any consolation, it looks like both of your Saturns are unaspected, meaning a lot of what you're experiencing may only be fleeting once the curtain comes down. Saturn stands for longevity and there may not be any here should a real relationship form. Not a hard rule of course, relationships have survived without it but it helps. IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 04:37 PM
Our Saturns may be unaspected, but they are both in Aquarius since we were born in the same year almost a month apart, and they are actually in an applying two-degree conjunction according to the aspect Here's a pic of out Saturn-Saturn conjunction: Here's all of the synastry aspects (sorry it's so small, I couldn't get a picture of everything without zooming out ) IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 04:51 PM
I still think the main issue is my Aries Venus semi-square his Pisces Venus. Even though it's a minor aspect, I feel like it's the main one making him dislike me. He doesn't like women who are confident enough to approach him I guess, but he doesn't approach women either because he's shy, so it's a lose-lose situation . Semisquares in composites, synastry charts, transits etc always manifest as external events related to friction, tension and a downright inability to release blocked tension between the two planets that are semisquaring. In this case I believe our "love language" is not compatible; we dislike how the other expresses romantic interest and thus this apparent dislike manifests as an inability to get into a relationship. Obviously though, it bothers him more since he probably can't stand the fact that I'm able to approach men and am assertive and go for who I want. His Pisces Venus wants a docile woman who won't approach or flirt with men first, but it's a double-edged sword because, like I said, his passive Pisces VENUS & Pisces Sun makes his ego and ability to express romantic interest passive and nonexistent. I saw the Venus semisquare Venus aspect once I added in minor aspects: IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 05:04 PM
His sun is in exact conjunction to my MC which I wonder about. I don't think his creativity can help me in my career. Also, this aspects denotes strong career focus between two people, and we don't have the same careers. I am still studying to become a journalist and he is already an established teacher. Our professions don't overlap at all, so that MC connection is odd to me since I don't see that playing out. I mean maybe if we were dating it'd play out.IP: Logged |
angel4845 Knowflake Posts: 2297 From: los angeles, ca, USA Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 05:53 PM
Can you put your lilith aspects? H21,h22,h13,h58,1881Lilith always brings obsession feelings. ------------------ Addicted to Self Relfection - Jupiter R in the 12th House IP: Logged |
athenaia Knowflake Posts: 571 From: USA Registered: May 2015
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posted February 24, 2016 05:55 PM
quote: Originally posted by angel4845: Can you put your lilith aspects? H21,h22,h13,h58,1881Lilith always brings obsession feelings.
Angel, what's "walde" and "shao" supposed to represent? As well as Priapus? Fascinated by all of the asteroids you listed! IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 06:41 PM
quote: Originally posted by angel4845: Can you put your lilith aspects? H21,h22,h13,h58,1881Lilith always brings obsession feelings.
MY Lillith sextile his Mercury and conjunct his Saturn at 4 degrees. HIS Lillith square my Sun, sextile my Mercury & in opposition to my Chiron. IP: Logged |
angel4845 Knowflake Posts: 2297 From: los angeles, ca, USA Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 07:32 PM
quote: Originally posted by SunAscendant: MY Lillith sextile his Mercury and conjunct his Saturn at 4 degrees.HIS Lillith square my Sun, sextile my Mercury & in opposition to my Chiron.
can you show me my friend? and sorry i messed up on one of the asteroids put in h22,h21,h13,1181,h58 ------------------ Addicted to Self Relfection - Jupiter R in the 12th House IP: Logged |
angel4845 Knowflake Posts: 2297 From: los angeles, ca, USA Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 07:35 PM
quote: Originally posted by athenaia: Angel, what's "walde" and "shao" supposed to represent? As well as Priapus? Fascinated by all of the asteroids you listed!
Priapus is the god of erection. literally penis erection he was horny all the time and wanted to merge sexually and spiritually. its what turns us on sexually to the point of orgasm/climax and what turns us on erotically as well, how we like to release our sexual energy and anyone aspecting our priapus they will turn us on. Walda is for Waldamath she is the DARK MOON LILITH she is the very scary obsessive side of lilith. Shao?? let me plug it in the ones i listed. Oh! i just saw it correct it!! its 1181....not 1881. 1181 is Asteroid Lilith. ------------------ Addicted to Self Relfection - Jupiter R in the 12th House IP: Logged |
angel4845 Knowflake Posts: 2297 From: los angeles, ca, USA Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 07:41 PM
by the way i agree with marygm about venus square his neptune in synastry honestly that is where i can see the butterfly feelings your getting when you see him. because your venus is seeing his neptune like as if he is the man of your dreams.....possibly your vertex is aspected as well or DESTINN asteroid that could also make you feel WOW ! this person was made for me! kind of a feeling. i have to look more but the sun defently find the ASC person very attractive and this soothes the ASC.------------------ Addicted to Self Relfection - Jupiter R in the 12th House IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 07:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by angel4845: by the way i agree with marygm about venus square his neptune in synastry honestly that is where i can see the butterfly feelings your getting when you see him. because your venus is seeing his neptune like as if he is the man of your dreams.....possibly your vertex is aspected as well or DESTINN asteroid that could also make you feel WOW ! this person was made for me! kind of a feeling. i have to look more but the sun defently find the ASC person very attractive and this soothes the ASC.
To make it worse, I think I actually have Venus square Neptune as the most exact aspect in my natal chart. I'm prone to over idealizing men that aren't all that . IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 07:52 PM
quote: Originally posted by angel4845: can you show me my friend? and sorry i messed up on one of the asteroids put in h22,h21,h13,1181,h58
I posted the aspect chart IP: Logged |
athenaia Knowflake Posts: 571 From: USA Registered: May 2015
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posted February 24, 2016 08:01 PM
quote: Originally posted by angel4845: Priapus is the god of erection. literally penis erection he was horny all the time and wanted to merge sexually and spiritually. its what turns us on sexually to the point of orgasm/climax and what turns us on erotically as well, how we like to release our sexual energy and anyone aspecting our priapus they will turn us on. Walda is for Waldamath she is the DARK MOON LILITH she is the very scary obsessive side of lilith. Shao?? let me plug it in the ones i listed. Oh! i just saw it correct it!! its 1181....not 1881. 1181 is Asteroid Lilith.
I see! Thank you for the explanation, clarifies a lot for me. Definitely gonna plug in Priapus in my synastries from now on lol IP: Logged |
LaceyLeigh Knowflake Posts: 640 From: New Jersey Registered: Jul 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 08:09 PM
It's probably your Mars squaring his Pluto that is fueling your obsession.IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 08:17 PM
quote: Originally posted by LaceyLeigh: It's probably your Mars squaring his Pluto that is fueling your obsession.
That's true. I didn't even notice. Definitely the most powerful negative aspect. IP: Logged |
Readytochill Knowflake Posts: 188 From: In my head Registered: Sep 2015
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posted February 24, 2016 09:46 PM
I think it's your Pluto squaring his Mars? Not your Mars squaring his Pluto.I've always wondered if Pluto or the personal planet is the obsessed one and maybe Pluto might be it? Well in this case at least. I think it might make sense because I have Mars square Pluto natally and used to be quite obsessive. If Pluto didn't aspect it, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so crazy lol IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 24, 2016 11:50 PM
quote: Originally posted by Readytochill: I think it's your Pluto squaring his Mars? Not your Mars squaring his Pluto.I've always wondered if Pluto or the personal planet is the obsessed one and maybe Pluto might be it? Well in this case at least. I think it might make sense because I have Mars square Pluto natally and used to be quite obsessive. If Pluto didn't aspect it, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so crazy lol
Oh yeah you're right, I'm Pluto, he's Mars haha. Pluto is the obsessed one haha, as you can tell  IP: Logged |
Lotis White Moderator Posts: 2107 From: USA Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 25, 2016 02:17 AM
Alright, I think I can see why the feelings are lopsided. The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses in the natal chart describe the type of people we are attracted to on different levels. The 5th house is about romantic sparks. The 7th house is about partnership and affection. And the 8th house is about private intimacy. Your 5th, 7th, and 8th houses resonate with his chart very well. This is what makes him seem to by your type…Your 5th house is Scorpio co-ruled by Pluto and Mars. Your Mars is in Pisces same as his Sun and Venus. Also, for a women her Mars sign is said to describe what type of behavior she likes on an man anyway. So it’s a double hit. Your 7th house is Capricorn, and Uranus conjunct Neptune sit in your 7th house. This makes you attracted to Pisces/Aqua types as Uranus and Neptune rules Aquarius and Neptune respectively. His is a Pisces Sun/Venus, with Mars and Saturn in Aquarius. Added to this, Capricorn traditionally rules the 10th house, so energetically the 10th house has more to say about your 7th house based attraction patterns. Your 10th house is your secondary 7th house. As it happens his Sun in Pisces is conjunct your Mc, and his Mercury in Aries also falls into your 10th house. Your 8th house is Aquarius, and as mentioned before he has Mars and Saturn there. Mars in the 8th especially indicates attraction. A women is said to look for a guy that has the qualities of her Mars and Sun, as these are the masculine personal planets in her chart. His Asc conjunct your Sun, along with him matching your Mars qualities mean that he acts the way you’d like a guy to behave. Hopefully you get what I mean. Most of his planets resonate with you 5th, 7th, and 8th houses, or masculine themed planets. This is why it feels like he is your type. However, when I look at his 5th, 7th, and 8th houses I’m not seeing the same pattern in relation to his chart. His 5th house is Leo ruled by Sun in Pisces. Jupiter and the Moon sit in this house. Your chart does not have major Leo or Sagittarius (ruled by Jupiter) themes. You do have Mars in Pisces and Cancer rising (ruled by the Moon), so there is some matching qualities in your chart. His 7th house is Scorpio ruled by Pluto in Scorpio and Mars in Aquarius. This is where the major disconnect seems to happen. Your chart does not contain strong Scorpio or Aquarius themes. His 8th house is Sagittarius ruled by Jupiter in Virgo. Again, no strong Sag or Virgo themes in your chart. His 8th house is also his secondary 7th house, because Scorpio traditionally rules the 8th house. What would concern me most is that he doesn’t have anything in his attraction pattern that would fall in love with your Taurus/Aries side, or your Capricorn Moon. And these are such major parts of how you are. You deserve a guy that can appreciate the whole of your personality. The reality is that if he had a different Asc, he might have actually been really attracted to you. A Libra Asc would have put Aries on the Dsc, and Taurus on the 8th house. Aqua would have been on the 5th house but Saturn and Mars would be in the 5th, and these planets match your Cap Moon/Aries personal planets. It is what it is though… The good news here is that it’s totally not personal that he doesn’t seem to reciprocate. The way that he’s psychologically oriented makes him attracted to certain types of energy in a girl, and you just don’t fit that image. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Your just different then what he had in mind. But it’s the same from your side. That fact that he matches your pattern is kind of like a random coincidence really. If you were meant to be together then it would have happened. He’s just a guy you met that happened to match your attraction pattern well. But, hey, there will be other guys who will also match your attraction pattern. He’s not the only one you could fall for. And one day I’m sure you’ll meet some one who really matches your pattern that reciprocates. Astrologically there are tons of ways this could happen. I just gave you an example above with the Libra Asc thing. A guy that puts your planets in his 5th, 7th, or 8th houses, or who has the rulers of these houses in the signs strong in your chart, will be the one that falls for you. And if he also has planets that match your 5th, 7th, and 8th houses, this is where we have a match. It need to be mutual. When you find that mutual match is when your most likely to enter a relationship. Knowing why he didn’t fall for you gives you the freedom to move on and find a better match. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with just the way that he is.
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yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 1868 From: red river valley Registered: Mar 2014
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posted February 25, 2016 02:35 AM
Beautiful! ^^IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 25, 2016 02:40 AM
quote: Originally posted by Lotis White: Alright, I think I can see why the feelings are lopsided. The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses in the natal chart describe the type of people we are attracted to on different levels. The 5th house is about romantic sparks. The 7th house is about partnership and affection. And the 8th house is about private intimacy. Your 5th, 7th, and 8th houses resonate with his chart very well. This is what makes him seem to by your type…Your 5th house is Scorpio co-ruled by Pluto and Mars. Your Mars is in Pisces same as his Sun and Venus. Also, for a women her Mars sign is said to describe what type of behavior she likes on an man anyway. So it’s a double hit. Your 7th house is Capricorn, and Uranus conjunct Neptune sit in your 7th house. This makes you attracted to Pisces/Aqua types as Uranus and Neptune rules Aquarius and Neptune respectively. His is a Pisces Sun/Venus, with Mars and Saturn in Aquarius. Added to this, Capricorn traditionally rules the 10th house, so energetically the 10th house has more to say about your 7th house based attraction patterns. Your 10th house is your secondary 7th house. As it happens his Sun in Pisces is conjunct your Mc, and his Mercury in Aries also falls into your 10th house. Your 8th house is Aquarius, and as mentioned before he has Mars and Saturn there. Mars in the 8th especially indicates attraction. A women is said to look for a guy that has the qualities of her Mars and Sun, as these are the masculine personal planets in her chart. His Asc conjunct your Sun, along with him matching your Mars qualities mean that he acts the way you’d like a guy to behave. Hopefully you get what I mean. Most of his planets resonate with you 5th, 7th, and 8th houses, or masculine themed planets. This is why it feels like he is your type. However, when I look at his 5th, 7th, and 8th houses I’m not seeing the same pattern in relation to his chart. His 5th house is Leo ruled by Sun in Pisces. Jupiter and the Moon sit in this house. Your chart does not have major Leo or Sagittarius (ruled by Jupiter) themes. You do have Mars in Pisces and Cancer rising (ruled by the Moon), so there is some matching qualities in your chart. His 7th house is Scorpio ruled by Pluto in Scorpio and Mars in Aquarius. This is where the major disconnect seems to happen. Your chart does not contain strong Scorpio or Aquarius themes. His 8th house is Sagittarius ruled by Jupiter in Virgo. Again, no strong Sag or Virgo themes in your chart. His 8th house is also his secondary 7th house, because Scorpio traditionally rules the 8th house. What would concern me most is that he doesn’t have anything in his attraction pattern that would fall in love with your Taurus/Aries side, or your Capricorn Moon. And these are such major parts of how you are. You deserve a guy that can appreciate the whole of your personality. The reality is that if he had a different Asc, he might have actually been really attracted to you. A Libra Asc would have put Aries on the Dsc, and Taurus on the 8th house. Aqua would have been on the 5th house but Saturn and Mars would be in the 5th, and these planets match your Cap Moon/Aries personal planets. It is what it is though… The good news here is that it’s totally not personal that he doesn’t seem to reciprocate. The way that he’s psychologically oriented makes him attracted to certain types of energy in a girl, and you just don’t fit that image. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Your just different then what he had in mind. But it’s the same from your side. That fact that he matches your pattern is kind of like a random coincidence really. If you were meant to be together then it would have happened. He’s just a guy you met that happened to match your attraction pattern well. But, hey, there will be other guys who will also match your attraction pattern. He’s not the only one you could fall for. And one day I’m sure you’ll meet some one who really matches your pattern that reciprocates. Astrologically there are tons of ways this could happen. I just gave you an example above with the Libra Asc thing. A guy that puts your planets in his 5th, 7th, or 8th houses, or who has the rulers of these houses in the signs strong in your chart, will be the one that falls for you. And if he also has planets that match your 5th, 7th, and 8th houses, this is where we have a match. It need to be mutual. When you find that mutual match is when your most likely to enter a relationship. Knowing why he didn’t fall for you gives you the freedom to move on and find a better match. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with just the way that he is.
Thank you for the in-depth read. Luckily I haven't put all my eggs in one basket and have been going on dates with guys. I went on one last night and the guy called me today unexpectedly to say he really liked me and wanted to see me again (his moon is conjunct my sun and his Juno is conjunct my Venus). Now the moon and venus in his chart DEFINITELY sees me as his ideal lol. I think I'm just going to try and go out with these other guys and forget about the one who didn't like me  IP: Logged |
Odette Moderator Posts: 6688 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted February 25, 2016 03:54 AM
Hmmm First of all.. No! Pisces men... don't like docile women - because they are extremely docile themselves.They usually like two types of women: - Women they can save - who have serious life problems (like a woman who is in an abusive relationship for example, or a single-mother addict with serious financial problems etc ... Whether or not they seem "docile" is irrelevant) and, - Women who are very strong, confident, and reliable, who they feel they can lean on... the kind of woman who can be "his rock".. (the aries/scorpio/capricorn type) ^ You would probably be more so in the second category... which in my opinion, makes you his "type". I have never heard of a Pisces having a problem with women being romantically forward... let alone with an Aquarius Mars sextile your Venus!!! No ways! Aquarius Mars is a feminist through and through. This guy would be first to say - that dating should be fair and square and both women and men can (and should) do the pursuing... For whatever reason I think you are misunderstanding him or misreading him... The fact that he is very passive, does not mean he is not into you. This might just be the way he is... What gave you the idea that he isn't interested? quote: The thing is, he doesn't share my feelings.
Did he reject you in some way, or are you just assuming that he doesn't? IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 25, 2016 04:13 AM
quote: Originally posted by Odette: Hmmm First of all.. No! Pisces men... don't like docile women - because they are extremely docile themselves.They usually like two types of women: - Women they can save - who have serious life problems (like a woman who is in an abusive relationship for example, or a single-mother addict with serious financial problems etc ... Whether or not they seem "docile" is irrelevant) and, - Women who are very strong, confident, and reliable, who they feel they can lean on... the kind of woman who can be "his rock".. (the aries/scorpio/capricorn type) ^ You would probably be more so in the second category... which in my opinion, makes you his "type". I have never heard of a Pisces having a problem with women being romantically forward... let alone with an Aquarius Mars sextile your Venus!!! No ways! Aquarius Mars is a feminist through and through. This guy would be first to say - that dating should be fair and square and both women and men can (and should) do the pursuing... For whatever reason I think you are misunderstanding him or misreading him... The fact that he is very passive, does not mean he is not into you. This might just be the way he is... What gave you the idea that he isn't interested? Did he reject you in some way, or are you just assuming that he doesn't?
He told me he wasn't "looking for a relationship", but a Venus Pisces and Sun Pisces man is never not looking for his soulmate lol. I also don't believe Pisces men because my ex had a stellium in his first house Pisces and was a liar.
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SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 29, 2016 04:02 PM
LotisWhite: I definitely agree that house placements matter a ton in synastry, but I think aspects do as well. For example, the moon and venus in a man's chart represent the type of woman he likes and wants to eventually settle down with. His Venus in Pisces sextiles my Taurus Sun which shows that he'd fund me charming, intriguing and good to be around and in turn would make me feel special and beautiful in his presence. His Virgo moon even trines my Cap moon meaning we are very "at home" with each other and feel very comfortable being emotionally vulnerable around each other despite our non-emotional moon signs. My Ascendant sextile his moon shows another possibility of me being his type in the way I express myself.IP: Logged |
SunAscendant Knowflake Posts: 779 From: California Registered: Oct 2014
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posted February 29, 2016 04:04 PM
quote: Originally posted by angel4845: by the way i agree with marygm about venus square his neptune in synastry honestly that is where i can see the butterfly feelings your getting when you see him. because your venus is seeing his neptune like as if he is the man of your dreams.....possibly your vertex is aspected as well or DESTINN asteroid that could also make you feel WOW ! this person was made for me! kind of a feeling. i have to look more but the sun defently find the ASC person very attractive and this soothes the ASC.
Yes I'm the sun and I definitely like his physical appearance haha.
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