posted June 26, 2016 01:06 AM            

The pain you experience now is part of the experience oflove. If you can somehow embrace it and find gratitude in your heart for the holistic experience of love and not shut down your heart to any of it... you will experience the blessing of this aspect too...

posted June 26, 2016 01:09 AM            

Somehow i found a way to accept and be grateful for the times my mom suddenly left me with strangers when i was really small. She was an overly devoted mother whowould wake me up to play with me when i was a baby. She was constantly with me. so when she left abruptly i had zero idea what was going on and would tantrum for HOURS. hours.

Never stopping. Throwing kicking screaming at those poor babysitters (actually the first time it happened i was with the man who would become the executor of my father's will. How's THAT for karma?!! Holy...).

And fast forward to my teenage years... even though there was noooo rational reason for wanting to be with my boyfriend all the time... yup. Screaming. Head bashing.

Couldn't. Even. Handle it.

And then two days ago i flipped on my boyfriend because he was leaving. It's a long story which includes my car breaking down completely so that i couldn't even open the door had to climb out the window... i ran down the street to my house where he was preparing to bike away .. We hadn't been getting along great earlier in the day... and i just screamed at him to get out of my life for good if he was leaving. It was not rational. I proceeded to throw everything in my house.

I then had some safe journeying in between extremely apologetic text messages (he took all his stuff intending never to return).

I think I've really taken a huge step in fully feeling and working with my chiron wound.. I've always known what it was... but this really helped. I know it sounds completely crazy but the working through of our deepest wounds often does look rather messy. We need to become conscious of it. Shame doesn't help. Hence the public forum sharing.

His progressed Venus is conjunct my Chiron... his Solar Arc Venus will conjunct my Chiron in 6 years about. We have the trine in composite and next year the solar return of our Davison has a tight Venus-Chiron conjunction. Our Chirons and also parallel

So obviously in a romantic context this all makes good sense that he would be helping me heal this one... he came back that night and we have fully discussed the implications. I understand that acting like i acted is not acceptable and I don't want to hurt him. Grateful that the trust and love we've established make it not too hard for him to believe/know that I truly mean my apologies and really love him and want him here! Despite saying the opposite when he was leaving (BECAUSE he was leaving!)... oh chiron in cancer... in the 9th no less, and opposite my moon and trine my mercury... hence my expounding i think.

posted June 26, 2016 01:13 PM            

I'm really glad I could help by sharing my story. I was lucky in that my family was very much there for me but the wounding was still sudden and very intense for my little 2 year old self. And so the crises in my life also manifest very intensely and suddenly. For you it was more ongoing and pervasive and so you are experiencing a drawn out release of that trauma.

I'm glad you're here on the boards sharing and I would be happy to keep talking with you about all of this.

posted June 26, 2016 05:07 PM            

Im the outside

posted May 24, 2019 11:19 AM            

I'm having this soon so I want to read more stories. Last time I had this was last year and I don't remember much about that time unless in those times I lost a very much significant clothe.